"You have strucked down Hercules..."

[ewmayer]

In the 1970 Film classic Hercules in New York (better known as the cinematic debut of a certain future California governor, and when you run out and buy your copy, make sure to get the recently-released non-overdubbed one), Herc is fighting a bunch of feckless Greek sailors on a boat, and when one of them has the temerity to hit his Herc-u-ness, the H-man looks slightly wistful and utters the immortal line:

"You have strucked Hercules." (For other great quotes, see here.)

I was reminded of that while reading the following article in today's business news:

Court turns down Hercules appeal

April 23, 2007: 01:38 PM EST

Apr. 23, 2007 (AFX International Focus) --

WASHINGTON (AP) - The Supreme Court turned down a request by chemical producer Hercules Inc. (NYSE:HPC) Monday to overturn a $119 million judgment against it by a lower federal court.

A federal district court in 1998 found the company liable, under the federal environmental 'Superfund' law, for most of the cost of cleaning up a hazardous waste site in Jacksonville, Ark. Hercules and other companies had produced herbicides at the site from the 1950s until the 1980s.

Hercules disputed that it was liable for the cleanup costs, arguing in court papers that the waste was produced 'years after' it had 'ceased production and sold the plant' in 1970.

The company said that the Environmental Protection Agency has 'never collected a penny' from the company that Hercules said did generate the pollution in question, Vertac Chemical Corp. As a result, the EPA has sought out Hercules as 'deep pocket' target, the company said.

The EPA argued the company was liable because of the pollution it released from 1961 to 1970, when it operated the plant.

Shares of Hercules rose 29 cents to $19.79 in midday trading on the New York Stock Exchange.

And now for a word from our attorneys...

Copyright 2007 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Gee, AP, that covers pretty much all use of your material, fair or not - couldja possibly make it any broader? How about something like this:

Copyright 2007 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be viewed, read, translated into Braille, published, broadcast, disseminated, discussed by the office water cooler, discussed away from the office water cooler, hummed on elevators, read-while-mouthing-the-words, used to wrap meat scraps, wadded into crumpled balls and used for fire starter, folded into silly paper hats, folded into shapes other than silly paper hats, used to line the cat box, used to line the floor of the birdcage, torn into shreds, recycled, reused, buried at sea, taken seriously, made sport of, paraphrased ironically, parodied broadly, looked at sideways, read over someone's shoulder, rewritten, or redistributed.

Jokes aside, I'm sure the various news outlets that pay for your newsfeed would be surprised to find that the material they pay you for "may not be published."

!#%$@^^ !%%# corporate lawyers...