The Unhappy Me thread - Page 58

rogue · 2015-01-06, 22:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick

Hope you are soon feeling better.

Thanks and thanks as well to those who have PM'd me on this.

rogue · 2015-01-27, 13:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogue

I've been dealing with anxiety issues for the past few weeks. I just started medication a few days ago, but it will take up to two weeks for it to take affect. I could not wish the psychological or physical manifestations of anxiety on anyone.

The medication I'm on has helped get it under control. The anxiety is there, but it is under control. I have come to realize how much of my job is behind much of the anxiety. In the last few months there is a pervasive "expectation of perfection" coming from management which leaves me to feel that nothing I do is good enough. My confidence has been shot and I'm not certain what to do about it. I know what I should probably do, but I need to rebuild some of that confidence before I do it and that will not be easy.

only_human · 2015-01-27, 14:19

I'm glad to hear that medication is providing some help. I've read My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel. Actually I listened to it on audiobook because I found it easier to continue that way as he described how overwhelming anxiety had been for him. I have my issues in that area and also worked with with someone who had it to an extreme degree. Large puddles of sweat would form on his scalp during conversations. I wish you well and hope that you strive forward. My father used to say: "Fifty years from now, none of this will matter."

chalsall · 2015-01-27, 19:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogue

The medication I'm on has helped get it under control.

Good to hear!

If I may, being seriously sick has caused me a whole new appreciation of getting old.

I always assumed I would die quickly because of a stupid mistake.

Dying slowly, in a great deal of pain, is an entirely different (and much more awful) thing.

Xyzzy · 2015-01-28, 03:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by chalsall

Dying slowly, in a great deal of pain, is an entirely different (and much more awful) thing.

http://www.mersenneforum.org/showthr...453#post123453

ewmayer · 2015-01-28, 04:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogue

The medication I'm on has helped get it under control. The anxiety is there, but it is under control. I have come to realize how much of my job is behind much of the anxiety. In the last few months there is a pervasive "expectation of perfection" coming from management which leaves me to feel that nothing I do is good enough.

The term "member of the precariat" has been aptly used to describe recent trends in the US labor market ... a constantly threatened-feeling worker is a submissive, abusable worker. I'm glad you;re feeling better, but if you need to be on anti-anxiety meds just to be able to face going to work in the morning...

Quote:

My confidence has been shot and I'm not certain what to do about it. I know what I should probably do, but I need to rebuild some of that confidence before I do it and that will not be easy.

Tell the boss to take a flying leap and retire early? (This is where being debt-free with some savings put aside is a huge difference-maker. Of course if you have kids in college it'll have to wait...)

Nick · 2015-01-28, 08:16

The commonly accepted psychological model (or "main loop" in our brains) is roughly as follows:

We observe some event around us
We interpret it (consciously or unconsciously)
The interpretation triggers feelings which gear our body up for action
We act (and then go back to 1).

Thus anger prepares your body for fighting, for example, while fear prepares it for running away. In a work situation, where literally running away would be somewhat reckless, fear becomes counter-productive. But it is not directly triggered by events, but by our (possibly unconscious) interpretation of them, and that makes intervention possible. If we can work out which rules we are imposing on ourselves triggering the anxiety (e.g. "I MUST do X"), we can challenge these rules and modify them ("I will do my best to do X but it's not the end of the world if I fail").

chalsall · 2015-01-29, 21:45

We spent litterally (many) tens of thousands of dollers on wires, switches, panels, etc.

The inspector failed us because a door opened the wrong way. "Someone might be bumped into the panel if they're working on that when the door is opened" he said.

This same inspector insisted the mains be opened up so he could inspect them...

Then he forgot to ask the mains be closed.

Thankfully I was there when a child walked by, and wanted to touch "the pretty colours"....

chalsall · 2015-02-04, 17:45

One of my cats, "Biscotti", who has been with me for 11 years, had been diagnosed with leukemia.

She has been on a downward slide for a while, but the slope increased greatly over the last couple of months.

This morning we found approximately 100 ml of blood under the bed, and an almost comatose "Scotty Girl". She was fine at 0300 when I last checked on her.

We've made the "hard decision"; our vet will be making a house call in about two hours...

It is nice to know that I rescued her from a feral life, and probably gave her ten times as much (very quality) time as she otherwise would have had.

But this is an incredibly emotionally painful time....

tha · 2015-02-04, 17:59

I can relate to that. When I had to ask the vet to come to take care of my dog, 16 years and 11 months old, I couldn' t talk to her, I only showed her the way. Now, years later, a photo of the dog is still on my desk.

petrw1 · 2015-02-04, 20:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by chalsall

We spent litterally (many) tens of thousands of dollers on wires, switches, panels, etc.

The inspector failed us because a door opened the wrong way. "Someone might be bumped into the panel if they're working on that when the door is opened" he said.

This same inspector insisted the mains be opened up so he could inspect them...

Then he forgot to ask the mains be closed.

Thankfully I was there when a child walked by, and wanted to touch "the pretty colours"....

Cool house....is there a guest room for the next time we are in town...
and does it come with breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? All we can drink? Free taxi service? I don't ask much do I?

2015-01-28, 08:16	#634
Nick Dec 2012 The Netherlands 6AF₁₆ Posts	The commonly accepted psychological model (or "main loop" in our brains) is roughly as follows: We observe some event around us We interpret it (consciously or unconsciously) The interpretation triggers feelings which gear our body up for action We act (and then go back to 1). Thus anger prepares your body for fighting, for example, while fear prepares it for running away. In a work situation, where literally running away would be somewhat reckless, fear becomes counter-productive. But it is not directly triggered by events, but by our (possibly unconscious) interpretation of them, and that makes intervention possible. If we can work out which rules we are imposing on ourselves triggering the anxiety (e.g. "I MUST do X"), we can challenge these rules and modify them ("I will do my best to do X but it's not the end of the world if I fail").

2015-01-29, 21:45	#635
chalsall If I May "Chris Halsall" Sep 2002 Barbados 2·67·73 Posts	Electrical... We spent litterally (many) tens of thousands of dollers on wires, switches, panels, etc. The inspector failed us because a door opened the wrong way. "Someone might be bumped into the panel if they're working on that when the door is opened" he said. This same inspector insisted the mains be opened up so he could inspect them... Then he forgot to ask the mains be closed. Thankfully I was there when a child walked by, and wanted to touch "the pretty colours".... Attached Thumbnails Last fiddled with by chalsall on 2015-01-29 at 22:09 Reason: Test

2015-02-04, 17:45	#636
chalsall If I May "Chris Halsall" Sep 2002 Barbados 2·67·73 Posts	Very sad... One of my cats, "Biscotti", who has been with me for 11 years, had been diagnosed with leukemia. She has been on a downward slide for a while, but the slope increased greatly over the last couple of months. This morning we found approximately 100 ml of blood under the bed, and an almost comatose "Scotty Girl". She was fine at 0300 when I last checked on her. We've made the "hard decision"; our vet will be making a house call in about two hours... It is nice to know that I rescued her from a feral life, and probably gave her ten times as much (very quality) time as she otherwise would have had. But this is an incredibly emotionally painful time....

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2015-01-27, 14:19	#630
only_human "Gang aft agley" Sep 2002 111010101010₂ Posts	I'm glad to hear that medication is providing some help. I've read My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind by Scott Stossel. Actually I listened to it on audiobook because I found it easier to continue that way as he described how overwhelming anxiety had been for him. I have my issues in that area and also worked with with someone who had it to an extreme degree. Large puddles of sweat would form on his scalp during conversations. I wish you well and hope that you strive forward. My father used to say: "Fifty years from now, none of this will matter."

2015-02-04, 17:59	#637
tha Dec 2002 5×163 Posts	I can relate to that. When I had to ask the vet to come to take care of my dog, 16 years and 11 months old, I couldn' t talk to her, I only showed her the way. Now, years later, a photo of the dog is still on my desk.