The Unhappy Me thread

[lycorn]

Silly me, I just realized the post I quoted above was from the 1st of April. Assuming it wasn´t a fool´s day joke, I reckon the offending machine has long ago turned into sand...

[science_man_88]

why do people insist on giving me gifts, even after being told I don't want any ...

[retina]

Originally Posted by science_man_88

why do people insist on giving me gifts, even after being told I don't want any ...

Ask them, only they know their reasons.

If you really really refuse to accept gifts then yell at them and get angry or something, and show you really mean it.

[science_man_88]

Originally Posted by retina

Ask them, only they know their reasons.

If you really really refuse to accept gifts then yell at them and get angry or something, and show you really mean it.

it's not just that I don't want any, it's that clothing, a gift card that has a fee if not spent in a certain time, and a bluetooth speaker don't make ideal gifts.

[retina]

Originally Posted by science_man_88

it's not just that I don't want any, it's that clothing, a gift card that has a fee if not spent in a certain time, and a bluetooth speaker don't make ideal gifts.

Yes, the ungrateful always complain that such things are not good. Perhaps you focus too much on the gift itself, instead of the intention behind it. Are they trying to bribe you, please you, or make themselves feel better by giving things to others? So, is the gift actually for you or for them, to feel happy?

[science_man_88]

Originally Posted by retina

Yes, the ungrateful always complain that such things are not good. Perhaps you focus too much on the gift itself, instead of the intention behind it. Are they trying to bribe you, please you, or make themselves feel better by giving things to others? So, is the gift actually for you or for them, to feel happy?

I'd say all three based on my family.

[Uncwilly]

Originally Posted by science_man_88

it's not just that I don't want any, it's that clothing, a gift card that has a fee if not spent in a certain time, and a bluetooth speaker don't make ideal gifts.

Sell on Craigslist

[chalsall]

Originally Posted by Uncwilly

Sell on Craigslist

Give to charity. (Oh, right... The ungrateful also tend to be uncharitable....)

[Dr Sardonicus]

Originally Posted by science_man_88

it's not just that I don't want any, it's that clothing, a gift card that has a fee if not spent in a certain time, and a bluetooth speaker don't make ideal gifts.

The gift having been given, it is yours to do with as you will. Excellent options have already been offered for gifts you don't like.

There is an old saying: "Don't (or "Never") look a gift horse in the mouth." The meaning is, if something is given to you as a gift, it is bad manners (if not downright churlish) to compare it to some standard of your own. You accept it and say "Thank you."

But why, you may ask, should you be polite and express gratitude for being saddled with something you really don't like?

Consider: If someone has gone to the effort to get you a gift, they may also be willing, at some later time, to give you something you value much more than this particular gift you happen not to like -- perhaps assistance in time of need. Unless, of course, you are graceless about receiving a gift from them. People tend to remember things like that.

Perhaps worse than the graceless receiver of a gift, is the malevolent giver. No, I don't mean someone knowingly giving you something that will cause you harm (like something they know you're allergic to), or which circumstances require you to keep as an unrealizable asset (like a non-transferable $5.00 gift certificate toward the purchase of a Lamborghini). The story I heard featured a stereotypical Jewish mother who gave her son two ties. The next time he visited her, of course he wore one of them out of politeness and respect. She looked at the tie intently and said, What? You didn't like the other one?

[science_man_88]

Originally Posted by Dr Sardonicus

The gift having been given, it is yours to do with as you will. Excellent options have already been offered for gifts you don't like.

There is an old saying: "Don't (or "Never") look a gift horse in the mouth." The meaning is, if something is given to you as a gift, it is bad manners (if not downright churlish) to compare it to some standard of your own. You accept it and say "Thank you."

But why, you may ask, should you be polite and express gratitude for being saddled with something you really don't like?

Consider: If someone has gone to the effort to get you a gift, they may also be willing, at some later time, to give you something you value much more than this particular gift you happen not to like -- perhaps assistance in time of need. Unless, of course, you are graceless about receiving a gift from them. People tend to remember things like that.

Perhaps worse than the graceless receiver of a gift, is the malevolent giver. No, I don't mean someone knowingly giving you something that will cause you harm (like something they know you're allergic to), or which circumstances require you to keep as an unrealizable asset (like a non-transferable $5.00 gift certificate toward the purchase of a Lamborghini). The story I heard featured a stereotypical Jewish mother who gave her son two ties. The next time he visited her, of course he wore one of them out of politeness and respect. She looked at the tie intently and said, What? You didn't like the other one?

I specifically ask them not to. I don't care, I know they think low of me , and I know their praise is fake.

[Batalov]

Originally Posted by science_man_88

I specifically ask them not to.

This is a form of control. Think about it this way - you tried to control them, but still they chose to think differently. Then think about this - do you only like those who obey you, who follow your orders? do you only welcome sameness? Embrace the fact that people are different - and they will periodically surprise you.