The Unhappy Me thread

[Uncwilly]

Originally Posted by chalsall

A good friend of ours went up to Canada for open heart surgery.

We just learned that she is not expected to wake up.

Horrible. Modern medicine can be wonderful, but things still happen.

[chalsall]

Originally Posted by Uncwilly

Horrible. Modern medicine can be wonderful, but things still happen.

Not horrible. Edit: But I very much appreciate the thoughts.

She would not have lived as long as she did if it wasn't for modern medicine. And she agreed to the operations, knowing the risks.

It is those left behind who feel the pain of loss.

[chalsall]

Originally Posted by chalsall

The good news is she probably has no cognitive abilities. So she will feel no pain, nor be "trapped".

We received an update today... An MRI confirms our friend is completely brain dead.

[chalsall]

Originally Posted by chalsall

We received an update today... An MRI confirms our friend is completely brain dead.

Sorry for this everyone... Suddenly reality hit really close to home.

For those who don't have a "living will", you might want to look into it, and perhaps write one. It would be good if your family didn't have to make a hard decision not knowing what you wanted to have happen in the case you were not able to communicate.

This isn't legally binding, but my wishes are that if I'm not able to feed myself and/or not breathe on my own for more than 48 hours, I ask that all life support be removed.

[kladner]

Mortality comes at us in all sorts of ways. Being a common experience does not make it any easier when it hits close to us.

[wombatman]

Originally Posted by chalsall

Sorry for this everyone... Suddenly reality hit really close to home.

For those who don't have a "living will", you might want to look into it, and perhaps write one. It would be good if your family didn't have to make a hard decision not knowing what you wanted to have happen in the case you were not able to communicate.

This isn't legally binding, but my wishes are that if I'm not able to feed myself and/or not breathe on my own for more than 48 hours, I ask that all life support be removed.

Originally Posted by kladner

Mortality comes at us in all sorts of ways. Being a common experience does not make it any easier when it hits close to us.

My dad passed away 3 days ago at 63. He went in for heart valve replacement surgery on the 12th. The cardiologist expected ~1 week in the hospital followed by a few months at home for recovery. He never came off of the sedation they put him under after the surgery. He was doing well until his blood pressure dropped suddenly and kidneys and liver failed.

The hardest part so far is two-fold: hearing everything said about him in the past tense, and thinking about all the things that won't ever happen again (i.e., getting a call/text to go get lunch, walking into my parents' house to see him sitting in his favorite chair, and so on).

My heart goes out to you, chalsall.

[rogue]

Originally Posted by wombatman

My dad passed away 3 days ago at 63. He went in for heart valve replacement surgery on the 12th. The cardiologist expected ~1 week in the hospital followed by a few months at home for recovery. He never came off of the sedation they put him under after the surgery. He was doing well until his blood pressure dropped suddenly and kidneys and liver failed.

The hardest part so far is two-fold: hearing everything said about him in the past tense, and thinking about all the things that won't ever happen again (i.e., getting a call/text to go get lunch, walking into my parents' house to see him sitting in his favorite chair, and so on.

From someone who lost his father earlier this year, my sincerest consolances.

[chalsall]

Originally Posted by wombatman

My heart goes out to you, chalsall.

And mine to you.

When you lose a close one it's a bit like a library burning down.

[kladner]

Originally Posted by chalsall

And mine to you.

When you lose a close one it's a bit like a library burning down.

A lot of knowledge, experience, and connection goes with the person. A library is a good metaphor. The only question then, is of backups. Did they write or record? In any case, each of us is a filtered, partial backup of those we have lost. Treasure that.
Feeling for both of your losses.

[LaurV]

Originally Posted by chalsall

This isn't legally binding, but my wishes are that if I'm not able to feed myself and/or not breathe on my own for more than 48 hours, I ask that all life support be removed.

I am totally with you with that paragraph, I would not want it differently for myself, except that I would extend the period for 96 hours or so. There are surgery procedures where you are not conscious, and artificially "aerated" for more than 48 hours (for example, cardiac surgery interventions, many of them with extended coma after). And also, cases of clinical death where the patient woke up after more than 48 hours. In many countries, a corpse has to be (as in "by law" or "by religious criteria") kept for more than 3 days before being buried (or burned, etc), to be sure it is dead, and that is a good reason, some guys have the bad habit to wake up just when you start partying for their departure... (sorry, I could not stop myself, I know this is totally misplaced, and be sure that my heart is with you!)..

[pinhodecarlos]

Originally Posted by rogue

From someone who lost his father earlier this year, my sincerest consolances.

Originally Posted by wombatman

My dad passed away 3 days ago at 63. He went in for heart valve replacement surgery on the 12th. The cardiologist expected ~1 week in the hospital followed by a few months at home for recovery. He never came off of the sedation they put him under after the surgery. He was doing well until his blood pressure dropped suddenly and kidneys and liver failed.

The hardest part so far is two-fold: hearing everything said about him in the past tense, and thinking about all the things that won't ever happen again (i.e., getting a call/text to go get lunch, walking into my parents' house to see him sitting in his favorite chair, and so on).

My condolences to both of you.