Dumb (Jokes) Thread

[mfgoode]

Originally Posted by xilman

[*].[*]Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
The great Dr Johnson expressed this one best when his wife complained of his body odour. "On the contrary, my dear, you smell -- I stink". The distinction betweeen the two adjectives has largely been lost in more recent English and it is clear that it was well on the way to being lost in Johnson's time.
Paul

Good answers Paul; But 'smell' and 'stink' - adjectives? in this context?
Mally

[mfgoode]

A tourist woman dining out summoned her waiter and requested that the air conditioning be turned down. Minutes later, the same woman was fanning herself, and she again summoned the waiter, asking that the a/c be turned up. As her complaints continued, a man at the next table beckoned the waiter.
"She must be driving you crazy" he said, "making you turn the a/c up and down like that"
"Not at all" the waiter replied "I'm driving her crazy. We dont have a/c "

[xilman]

Originally Posted by ewmayer

I suspect it's not so much the potential expense as the fact that the resulting plane would be much too heavy to ever get off the ground - it would be like trying to put wings on a submarine.

Nope, it's as I said --- cost-effectiveness.

You can make anything fly, even an elephant, if you make it go fast enough --- meaning providing it with powerful enough engines --- and a smart enough attitude control system.

Consider the space shuttle. It has the aerodynamics of the average house brick. It's worse than a bathtub but better than a bunch of keys. Nonetheless, it flies.


Paul

[hhh]

Originally Posted by ewmayer

F: Wieso stinken die Gräber in Tehran?

At least I don't get it. Schwyzerdytsch? Weana Schmäh? Can you explain?
H.

[xilman]

Originally Posted by mfgoode

Good answers Paul; But 'smell' and 'stink' - adjectives? in this context?
Mally

You are quite right. The word is "verbs". No idea why I typed "adjectives".

The point remains: noses smell, feet stink. At least, they did in the eighteenth century and before.

Paul

[ewmayer]

Originally Posted by hhh

At least I don't get it. Schwyzerdytsch? Weana Schmäh?

In meiner Heimat (Umgebung Wien) ist "Schas" Umgangsprache für "Furz". Kann man auch generell geringschätzend verwenden - z.B. wenn ah Weana ah Fussboispüh anschaut und da schiesst ahna so richtig oag daneben, würde der Weana vülleicht sagen, "Na, des' war jetzt ah ordentlicher Schas..."

[ewmayer]

Originally Posted by xilman

You can make anything fly, even an elephant, if you make it go fast enough --- meaning providing it with powerful enough engines --- and a smart enough attitude control system.

Argumentative! Argumentative! Also depends on precisely what one means by "fly".

Consider the space shuttle. It has the aerodynamics of the average house brick. It's worse than a bathtub but better than a bunch of keys. Nonetheless, it flies.

Not for any significant length of time, it doesn't - and I think you'll find that even (or perhaps especially) on the shuttle much effort was expended to make all the parts as light as they could possibly be and still sustain the propulsive, thermal and aerodynamic loads it encounters on every mission. All propulsion systems are limited by their specific energy - in the case of something like the shuttle we can boost it into orbit with a massive amount of propulsive force, but that is by definition of severely limited duration - a few minutes at most. Were we to try to fly something with the aggregate density and aerodynamics of a brick in the atmosphere for a durations of several hours (as airplanes are required to do), I think you'd find that there simply exists no chemical propulsion system with the required specific energy. Sure, you can strap a brick to a jet engine and make it fly, but a jet engine has also been carefully designed to be extremely light - I'm talking about the original idea of making the entire airplane - including the propulsion system - as structurally strong (and hence as dense) as the flight recorder. So while my "get off the ground" wording may have been hyperbole, in the sense of sustaining flight for more than a few minutes, I believe it was on the mark.

Your honor, the prostitution rests, or something. :P

[Orgasmic Troll]

Originally Posted by ewmayer

the prostitution rests

Crap. There goes my weekend.

[mfgoode]

Originally Posted by xilman

You are quite right. The word is "verbs". No idea why I typed "adjectives".

The point remains: noses smell, feet stink. At least, they did in the eighteenth century and before.

Paul

Well Paul I agree that noses smell and feet stink. Lets enquire why?

Noses smell smelly things no doubt. The nose itself does not normally give an odour, unless the person suffers from sinus, and that can be offensive from my experience.

The max. amount of sweat glands/pores are located in the feet, followed closely by the arm pits, groin and posterior and should be washed frequently to remain fresh. Mind you it is my observation that the fresh odour emanating from any of them can be quite a turn on!

In the 18th century and before, I suppose due to improper water supply and the cold weather, people did not care for such hygiene as practised today. Besides the type of clothing used, when an ankle show was all the men were entitled to, only in extreme seduction would a lady take her closed shoes off.
If she/he was with a shoe fetishist then never!

Still as late the late 60's the leather was not cured sufficiently and due to them the feet could stink. I found this out in my early days in Cairo when I bought camel leather shoes which were considered a novelty to the rest of the world. I found to my dismay that they stank after a short while of wearing. Of course it was my nose that did the smelling.

I'm sure you will agree with me that smelly feet can be quite a downer literally!!
Mally

[grandpascorpion]

Civil war

[ewmayer]

Video games rated "Mature"