Dumb (Jokes) Thread

[chalsall]

A photon, an electron, and God enters a bar.

"Why are you so uncertain?" asks God....

[xilman]

Originally Posted by ewmayer

[Had to ditch the rather-rabelasian rabbi, I'm afraid - he simply wouldn't fit into our miniature, um 'mosaic']

Aw. . I was rather looking forward to a runt of a rabbi making his appearance.

[ewmayer]

Ah, yes, i wanted the runtish one - a miniature mazel tov to you!

Originally Posted by chalsall

A photon, an electron, and God enters a bar.

"Why are you so uncertain?" asks God....

Scribblings on the stall walls of the men's room of the same bar:

HEISENBERG WAS HERE?

PAULI WASN'T - HE WAS EXCLUDED.

FEYNMAN RULES!

[chalsall]

Originally Posted by ewmayer

Scribblings on the stall walls of the men's room of the same bar:

Scribblings on the stall walls of the women's room of the same bar:

THEY'RE ALL WRONG.

MAKE SURE THEY KNOW IT!!!

SIGNED, GOD.

[LaurV]

Originally Posted by ewmayer

into a millibar...

Haha, you guys are killing me! I am working in RL to finish a piece of software for a pressure switch, which is beating the crap out of me since a month (the customer. German company, is tough in his requirements and deadlines)... I am dreaming only kiloPascals, bars, pounds per square inch, and mmHg since some time... ... and now you...

[chappy]

Originally Posted by LaurV

Haha, you guys are killing me! I am working in RL to finish a piece of software for a pressure switch, which is beating the crap out of me since a month (the customer. German company, is tough in his requirements and deadlines)... I am dreaming only kiloPascals, bars, pounds per square inch, and mmHg since some time... ... and now you...

Wika? I'm more of a Yokogawa guy myself, though their manuals could use a little polishing (and may in fact fit in quite well in this thread.)



A politician, an engineer, and a technician are driving to a conference when, just outside of town, they get a flat tire. The three of them get out of the car and scratch their heads.
The politician says, "Maybe we should go into town and get us a new tire. I know that I can bargain with confuse with doublespeak the man at the parts store and get us a great deal."
The engineer stops him, saying, "No, before you do that, we'll have to do some computations, figuring the grade of the road, the asphalt temperature, and the average rate of speed we will be traveling to know what kind of tire you should buy. So that this doesn't happen again until after or about the mean time to failure."
The technician laughs and shakes his head. "No, no, no! What's wrong with you guys? Hell, we have a spare tire in the trunk - now all we have to do is start swapping tires until we find the flat one!"

[LaurV]

Originally Posted by chappy

Wika? I'm more of a Yokogawa guy myself, though their manuals could use a little polishing (and may in fact fit in quite well in this thread.)

Don't know Wika. Know Yokogawa and agree about manuals. My guys are more of this type (totally done in our house, if you want to buy it now, better wait a little bit, in few months you will get a better one, we are already very advanced with the prototypes, hehe) or other brands and types (they are all partners, not competitors, they buy from each-other, we design and produce for all of them). (you won't believe all those guys are in fact German, would you? I knew some American guy in Chiang Mai who even contradicted me about Mercedes cars, he said they are American! ).

[edit: I love the joke! I never was a good politician, but I am plenty of the last two. Trial and fail, hehe...]

[only_human]

"I told my wife I stored one million Joules at work today. She then asked me, 'And you can't take a few of them home?'" -Dr. Goldstein at his first job in 1976.
via Tu-Anh Tran on g+

[jasong]

This joke is a little bit of a reinterpretation of an xkcd.com panel a long time back.

This is Schrodinger's post. It is simultaneously funny and not funny. It is uncertain which until the end. Until then it exists in a state of permanent flux. When you reach the end of this post it will transform itself into a one or the other, funny or not.

...
....















Shit.

(I think I did that badly, maybe I should search for the original comic.)

[LaurV]

Originally Posted by only_human

"I told my wife I stored one million Joules at work today. She then asked me, 'And you can't take a few of them home?'" -Dr. Goldstein at his first job in 1976.
via Tu-Anh Tran on g+

Was the guy a gypsy? Hehe... This is a very old Romanian/Gypsy joke (like over 50 years old) due to the word pun, in Romani (not to be confused with Romanian, however a lot of idiots from the western countries confuse the two, more voluntarily then not) language, "jules" means "to steal, to pickpocket", which evolved in Romanian jargon too ("a juli"=to steal, "eu julesc", "tu juleşti", for "I steal, you steal", helped by the fact that the original Romanian verb had a meaning "to scratch one's skin (to wound)" or "to peel off (a fruit, etc)"). We pronounce the words as they are written (no tricks like in English!) and uneducated people (like most of the Gypsies are, no racism intended - I have very good friends which are Gypsies!) are tempted to pronounce the "les" as the end (pronouncing "ju:'les" like in English "useless", but with the accent of "compress"). Therefore the joke goes like "the gypsy guy who just got a job at the electric company, or whatever, came home telling to his piranda "I have xxx jules at job bla bla" (he pronuncing the "les", with gypsy accent), she reply "can you jules some for home?"

[only_human]

Originally Posted by LaurV

Was the guy a gypsy?

I'm sorry, I don't know; I just read the joke in Tu-Anh's Google Plus stream.