Dumb (Jokes) Thread - Page 24

ewmayer · 2007-07-25, 17:13

Q: what's the difference between a wireless Bluetooth headset and an OB tampon?

A: The Bluetooth headset is cordless and usually plugged into an a**hole.

Xyzzy · 2007-07-26, 03:01

What is "OB"?

Your extensive knowledge of feminine hygiene products disturbs us.

hhh · 2007-07-26, 09:01

It's a german trademark, but has become a Genericized trademark . Originally it stood for "Ohne Binde", without sanitary towel (if I got the translation right).
H.

petrw1 · 2007-07-30, 20:50

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, or electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere, even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet, it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here's how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The Browse feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Most come with an Index feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional BOOKmark accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOK's by various manufacturers. Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus.

Brian-E · 2007-08-03, 20:34

A registration form for entry to a holiday camp included the question

"Number of children (by sex) ......"

One family answered:

"Two (and also one by adoption)."

Xyzzy · 2007-08-04, 04:30

Quote:

…yet, it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk…

We're not sure we buy this argument.

http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/10

The bible is a pretty big book and it is barely over 4MB.

A CD-ROM is usually around 700MB.

xilman · 2007-08-04, 09:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xyzzy

We're not sure we buy this argument.

http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/10

The bible is a pretty big book and it is barely over 4MB.

A CD-ROM is usually around 700MB.

Most bibles printed these days have very few pictures in them.

Paul

Xyzzy · 2007-08-04, 14:24

Quote:

Most bibles printed these days have very few pictures in them.

Announcing: The Children's Pictorial Book of Revelations!

We bet that would go over well.

Fusion_power · 2007-08-10, 18:59

What is the difference between a maths Phd and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Orgasmic Troll · 2007-08-10, 19:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fusion_power

What is the difference between a maths Phd and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

wow, I had no idea the British education was so worthless. ;)

xilman · 2007-08-10, 20:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xyzzy

Announcing: The Children's Pictorial Book of Revelations!

We bet that would go over well.

If the illustrations were high resolution ray-traced images I suspect they would add up to rather a lot of megabytes.

Paul

2007-07-30, 20:50	#257
petrw1 1976 Toyota Corona years forever! "Wayne" Nov 2006 Saskatchewan, Canada 3·5·313 Posts	Back to the Future Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK. It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, or electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere, even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet, it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk. Here's how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The Browse feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Most come with an Index feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional BOOKmark accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOK's by various manufacturers. Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus.

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2007-07-25, 17:13	#254
ewmayer ∂²ω=0 Sep 2002 República de California 26577₈ Posts	Q: what's the difference between a wireless Bluetooth headset and an OB tampon? A: The Bluetooth headset is cordless and usually plugged into an a**hole.

2007-07-26, 03:01	#255
Xyzzy "Mike" Aug 2002 10000000110101₂ Posts	What is "OB"? Your extensive knowledge of feminine hygiene products disturbs us.

2007-07-26, 09:01	#256
hhh Jun 2005 101110101₂ Posts	It's a german trademark, but has become a Genericized trademark . Originally it stood for "Ohne Binde", without sanitary towel (if I got the translation right). H.

2007-08-03, 20:34	#258
Brian-E "Brian" Jul 2007 The Netherlands 7×467 Posts	A registration form for entry to a holiday camp included the question "Number of children (by sex) ......" One family answered: "Two (and also one by adoption)."

2007-08-10, 18:59	#262
Fusion_power Aug 2003 Snicker, AL 7·137 Posts	What is the difference between a maths Phd and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.