Dumb (Jokes) Thread - Page 19

davieddy · 2007-03-29, 12:02

mfgoode · 2007-04-01, 15:55

A young teenage girl was walking up the steep steps to the choir when the pastor looked up.

He caught up with her and told her

'You are not wearing any panties !. Here take $50 and buy your self a couple'

The girl was very happy and told her mom about it.

The mom without hesitation took her own panties off and hurried to the choir.

She was climbing up the steps when once again the pastor observed her.

She smiled at him and he pulled out a dollar.

'here take this and buy your self a razor and have a shave'

Mally

Patrick123 · 2007-04-04, 10:27

This true story happened in Soweto(SOuth WEst TOwnship just outside Johannesburg) about a month ago.

A man was hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling by and there was hardly a car on the road. The storm was so strong that he could hardly see his feet in front of him.
Suddenly a car came towards him and stopped.

Without thinking, he got in and closed the door just to realize that there was nobody behind the steering wheel.
The car moved off slowly. He looked ahead and saw a curve in the road.
Scared, he started praying, begging for his life. He was terrified.
Just before hitting the curve a hand appeared through the window and turned the steering wheel.
The man, now paralyzed with fear, watched how the hand kept appearing every time they got to a curve.
Gathering all his courage, he jumped out and ran to the nearest lights he could see. Wet and in shock, he went into a shabeen(an informal bar) and asked for a double brandy.
After drinking it, he told everyone of the horrible experience he just had.
Everyone was silent when they realized he was crying.

About half an hour later, two men came walking into the shabeen and, on seeing the terrified man, the one said to the other, "Philemon, isn't that the idiot that got into the car while we were pushing .....?'

Uncwilly · 2007-04-04, 14:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patrick123

This true story happened in Soweto(SOuth WEst TOwnship just outside Johannesburg) about a month ago.

I heard that one several years ago. The setting was a different (local) country.

davieddy · 2007-04-04, 14:53

Unless he was very drunk to start with, I find it hard to believe.

Patrick123 · 2007-04-04, 14:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by davieddy

Unless he was very drunk to start with, I find it hard to believe.

Hellooooo!! That's why I put it in the dumb jokes thread, meant to be taken with a pinch of salt

BlisteringSheep · 2007-04-04, 15:48

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to London.
I heard prostitutes there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on £800 a year".

davieddy · 2007-04-04, 18:39

davieddy · 2007-04-06, 09:13

Q Why shouldn't you wear Russian trousers?
A Chernobyl fallout

Patrick123 · 2007-04-12, 11:26

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her
blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never
takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies. "I
guess it just leaves an impression."

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that
mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes
off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?

Uncwilly · 2007-04-12, 12:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patrick123

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?

If you change it to Wellsley it is even funnier.

2007-04-01, 15:55	#200
mfgoode Bronze Medalist Jan 2004 Mumbai,India 4004₈ Posts	Choir ! A young teenage girl was walking up the steep steps to the choir when the pastor looked up. He caught up with her and told her 'You are not wearing any panties !. Here take $50 and buy your self a couple' The girl was very happy and told her mom about it. The mom without hesitation took her own panties off and hurried to the choir. She was climbing up the steps when once again the pastor observed her. She smiled at him and he pulled out a dollar. 'here take this and buy your self a razor and have a shave' Mally

2007-04-04, 10:27	#201
Patrick123 Jan 2006 JHB, South Africa 157₁₀ Posts	A Spooky Story This true story happened in Soweto(SOuth WEst TOwnship just outside Johannesburg) about a month ago. A man was hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling by and there was hardly a car on the road. The storm was so strong that he could hardly see his feet in front of him. Suddenly a car came towards him and stopped. Without thinking, he got in and closed the door just to realize that there was nobody behind the steering wheel. The car moved off slowly. He looked ahead and saw a curve in the road. Scared, he started praying, begging for his life. He was terrified. Just before hitting the curve a hand appeared through the window and turned the steering wheel. The man, now paralyzed with fear, watched how the hand kept appearing every time they got to a curve. Gathering all his courage, he jumped out and ran to the nearest lights he could see. Wet and in shock, he went into a shabeen(an informal bar) and asked for a double brandy. After drinking it, he told everyone of the horrible experience he just had. Everyone was silent when they realized he was crying. About half an hour later, two men came walking into the shabeen and, on seeing the terrified man, the one said to the other, "Philemon, isn't that the idiot that got into the car while we were pushing .....?'

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2007-03-29, 12:02	#199
davieddy "Lucan" Dec 2006 England 14512₈ Posts

2007-04-04, 14:53	#203
davieddy "Lucan" Dec 2006 England 2×3×13×83 Posts	Unless he was very drunk to start with, I find it hard to believe.

2007-04-04, 15:48	#205
BlisteringSheep Oct 2006 On a Suzuki Boulevard C90 246₁₀ Posts	A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?" She answers, "I'm moving to London. I heard prostitutes there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free." Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on £800 a year".

2007-04-04, 18:39	#206
davieddy "Lucan" Dec 2006 England 2·3·13·83 Posts

2007-04-06, 09:13	#207
davieddy "Lucan" Dec 2006 England 1100101001010₂ Posts	Q Why shouldn't you wear Russian trousers? A Chernobyl fallout

2007-04-12, 11:26	#208
Patrick123 Jan 2006 JHB, South Africa 157₁₀ Posts	A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies. "I guess it just leaves an impression." A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?