Haiku thread - Page 8

davar55 · 2015-12-20, 17:57

Time Flies
--------------

A calendar lies
On the wall in front of me
Making me hurry

(I think adding a title afterwards us cool.)

LaurV · 2015-12-21, 01:47

Could it just happen
That the title you added
Created a rhyme?

davar55 · 2015-12-21, 07:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by davar55

Time Flies
--------------

A calendar lies
On the wall in front of me
Making me hurry

(I think adding a title afterwards is cool.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurV

Had To Zap-In
-------------------

Could it just happen
That the title you added
Created a rhyme?

Just a cool coincidence, you think?
Poetic serendipity.

LaurV · 2015-12-21, 09:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by davar55

Just a cool coincidence, you think?
Poetic serendipity.

Haha, ok, ok, I was just picking on you because I knew they should not rhyme, therefore your was invalid. But meantime I read few sites which say they can occasionally rhyme too.

only_human · 2015-12-21, 09:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaurV

Haha, ok, ok, I was just picking on you because I knew they should not rhyme, therefore your was invalid. But meantime I read few sites which say they can occasionally rhyme too.

I think the turn is what makes a haiku most interesting:
The Ingredients of Good Haiku

Quote:

So what goes into making a good haiku? For me, there are a few main points that really make or break a haiku:

• the moment

• the image

• the turn

• the season

/.../

Turn

Haiku always needs a turn, or a "cutting" word. This word serves to separate ideas in the stanza. Because of this, it is often the word on which "the moment" hinges, as it sets up the contrast, parallel, or association that is at work in the poem. It functions in such a way as to cause the reader to pause (which is generally a good thing in any reading of poetry). In English haiku, some form of punctuation often plays the function of the cutting word.

davar55 · 2015-12-21, 11:33

The moment passes;
The image of the season
Turns to summer warmth.

Another moment
Of imagination wide
Makes a turn toward light.

only_human · 2015-12-30, 05:19

Hardly any teeth left
Enjoys the convenience
of lactose free milk

davar55 · 2016-01-06, 18:32

The Big Bank Theory
Enflames the socialist left.
It's not money's fault.

2015-12-21, 01:47	#79
LaurV Romulan Interpreter Jun 2011 Thailand 22613₈ Posts	Could it just happen That the title you added Created a rhyme? Last fiddled with by LaurV on 2015-12-21 at 01:52 Reason: I didn't know how to count to 7!

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2015-12-20, 17:57	#78
davar55 May 2004 New York City 2·29·73 Posts	Time Flies -------------- A calendar lies On the wall in front of me Making me hurry (I think adding a title afterwards us cool.)

2015-12-21, 11:33	#83
davar55 May 2004 New York City 1000010001010₂ Posts	The moment passes; The image of the season Turns to summer warmth. Another moment Of imagination wide Makes a turn toward light.

2015-12-30, 05:19	#84
only_human "Gang aft agley" Sep 2002 2×1,877 Posts	Hardly any teeth left Enjoys the convenience of lactose free milk

2016-01-06, 18:32	#85
davar55 May 2004 New York City 2×29×73 Posts	The Big Bank Theory Enflames the socialist left. It's not money's fault.