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Old 2020-10-13, 13:06   #1046
xilman
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"π’‰Ίπ’ŒŒπ’‡·π’†·π’€­"
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Ive just bought the personalized number plate BAA BAA for my black jeep.
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Old 2020-10-18, 14:31   #1047
xilman
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"π’‰Ίπ’ŒŒπ’‡·π’†·π’€­"
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As an Oxford alumnus, I feel that it is my duty to inform you as to why the University Boat Race is the most difficult in the world.

There are 16 oars, 2 cox and only 20 minutes to do it in.

To make it harder, all this has to be done in full view of a live crowd of thousands and before a global TV audience of millions.

Last fiddled with by xilman on 2020-10-18 at 14:51
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Old 2020-10-19, 18:55   #1048
xilman
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Did you hear about the dyslexic who sold his louse to Santa?
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Old 2020-10-20, 10:24   #1049
piforbreakfast
 
Oct 2020
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What's black and white, black and off-white, black and tan, black and brown, black and black?

A penguin roasting on a spit.
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Old 2020-10-29, 04:02   #1050
MattcAnderson
 
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"Matthew Anderson"
Dec 2010
Oregon, USA

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Q What gets wet as it drys?

A a towel

grinz

Q2 Did you hear the one about the guy stealing tires from the police?

A2 Our police are working TIRELESSLY to find the culprit.
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Old 2020-10-30, 08:40   #1051
piforbreakfast
 
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Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

To try to get away from the noise.
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Old 2020-10-30, 20:53   #1052
xilman
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They really should stock ATM’s better. I went to 5 different ones today and they all said insufficient funds.
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Old 2020-11-10, 17:37   #1053
xilman
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My mute pigeon struggled to tell me that he tried to overthrow the government.

It was an attempted coo.
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Old 2020-11-10, 19:59   #1054
petrw1
1976 Toyota Corona years forever!
 
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"Wayne"
Nov 2006
Saskatchewan, Canada

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Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to California. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.

At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why Hooters?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs."
"You're on."

At age 42, they meet and play golf again "Where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Again? Why?"
"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."
"OK."

At age 52 they meet and play again. "So, where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."
"OK."

At age 62 they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."
"Good choice"

At age 72 they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts."
"Great choice."

At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Because we've never been there before."
β€œOkay, let’s give it a try."
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Old 2020-11-11, 04:20   #1055
kladner
 
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"Kieren"
Jul 2011
In My Own Galaxy!

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Old 2020-11-11, 09:08   #1056
LaurV
Romulan Interpreter
 
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Jun 2011
Thailand

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Quote:
Originally Posted by petrw1 View Post
Two guys...
Brilliant, hahaha
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