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 2008-01-22, 15:05 #320 Uncwilly 6809 > 6502     """"""""""""""""""" Aug 2003 101×103 Posts 22×3×11×61 Posts My uncle knew exactly how and when he would die. The Judge told him.
 2008-02-11, 22:42 #321 BlisteringSheep     Oct 2006 On a Suzuki Boulevard C90 2·3·41 Posts You will soon leave this world the same way you entered it: screaming in the backseat of a blood-soaked taxi.
 2008-02-19, 12:30 #322 Andi47     Oct 2004 Austria 2·17·73 Posts Physics exam at the university Physics exam at the university. The first student comes in. The professor asks: "You are sitting in a train which is going at 80 km/h. It is quite warm inside the compartment. What are you doing now?" Student: "Well, I'll open the window." Professor: "Well, then calculate the new aerodynamic drag. Does the friction between the wheels and the lane change? Will the velocity of the train decrease, and how much?" The student doesn't know the answer and fails the exam. The next students get the same question, and they all fail. Then the last student comes in. Professor: "You are sitting in a train which is going at 80 km/h. It is quite warm inside the compartment. What are you doing now?" Student. "I take off my jackett." Professor: "It is still too hot." Student: "Then I also take off my jumper." Professor: "But it is still too hot - like in a sauna" Student: "Then I take off all my cloths." Professor: "But there are two gays in the compartment which want *ummm* something from you". Student: "Do you now what? It is the 10th time I come to the exam. The whole train could be full with gays - THIS DAMN WINDOW STAYS CLOSED!!!"
2008-02-19, 18:50   #323
Brian-E

"Brian"
Jul 2007
The Netherlands

2×23×71 Posts

Quote:
 Originally Posted by Andi47 Physics exam at the university. ....... Student: "Then I take off all my cloths." Professor: "But there are two gays in the compartment which want *ummm* something from you". Student: "Do you now what? It is the 10th time I come to the exam. The whole train could be full with gays - THIS DAMN WINDOW STAYS CLOSED!!!"
At this point the professor's colleague intervened and started asking the student some questions about friction and aerodynamics. Whether this student then passed the exam is not recorded, but it was the professor who benefitted the most because his colleague recommended some valuable refresher courses for him. As well as "How to ask relevant questions when examining students" there were some others to further his personal development including: "How to refer to sex as what it is and without embarrasment", "What is homosexuality and how are gay people integrated within society?", and "How to recognise and acknowledge my own repressed (homo)sexuality".

 2008-03-05, 18:58 #324 BlisteringSheep     Oct 2006 On a Suzuki Boulevard C90 2·3·41 Posts You will remind many of Abraham Lincoln, with your oratory gifts, dedication to equality, and habit of getting shot in the head at theaters.
 2008-03-05, 18:59 #325 BlisteringSheep     Oct 2006 On a Suzuki Boulevard C90 111101102 Posts Everybody always speaks admiringly of what a survivor you are, but Thursday's events will make liars of them all.
 2008-03-05, 19:01 #326 BlisteringSheep     Oct 2006 On a Suzuki Boulevard C90 2×3×41 Posts Your admirable decision to lead a life of honesty and moral rectitude will bring your career in advertising to a sudden and drastic end.
 2008-04-29, 02:11 #327 Xyzzy     "Mike" Aug 2002 73·103 Posts Emergency phone call: Man: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" Doctor: "Is this her first child?" Man: "No, this is her husband!"
 2008-09-30, 20:49 #328 petrw1 1976 Toyota Corona years forever!     "Wayne" Nov 2006 Saskatchewan, Canada 7×613 Posts Holy Maths Teachers! Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus mean - 'the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9?'" Peter said, "Don't worry, guys. It's just another one of his parabolas."
 2008-10-01, 09:41 #329 akruppa     "Nancy" Aug 2002 Alexandria 2,467 Posts Can't help it. Alex Attached Thumbnails
2008-10-01, 17:53   #330
xilman
Bamboozled!

May 2003
Down not across

2·5,003 Posts

Quote:
 Originally Posted by akruppa Can't help it. Alex
That's the problem with political jokes --- they get elected.

I'm a firm believer that the old ones are the best

Paul

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