Your favorite political jokes

Fusion_power · 2004-09-07, 03:26

Two things to avoid on chat boards are politics and religion. I think we might be able to have a political joke thread though without getting personal. Please post your favorite political jokes here.

The debate between the two candidates was getting heated with lots of quips and snide comments back and forth. Finally one candidate in exasperation yelled out:
"What are you going to do about air pollution?"

The other candidate replied:
"Keep my mouth shut!"

An elderly gentleman walked up to the guardhouse at the whitehouse and spoke to the guard

Gentleman: "Does John Kerry live here?"
guard: "NO".
Gentleman: "Is John Kerry the president?"
Guard: NO

The elderly gentleman walked away but came back the next day and again asked the same two questions. Each time the guard responded "NO".

This continued for 3 days until finally the exasperated guard said:
"KERRY doesn't live here and KERRY is NOT president. Why do you keep asking?"

To which the elderly gentleman replied "I just like to hear that he's not!"

The guard smiled, snapped to attention and said "See you tomorrow sir!"

Fusion

clowns789 · 2004-09-09, 01:08

A little kid asked to his dad at bedtime, "Do most fairy tales start with 'Once Upon a Time?'" The dad replied, "No, most of them start with, 'If elected, I will...'"

JuanTutors · 2004-09-09, 05:37

Can this thread be moved down to "Soapbox"?

dswanson · 2004-09-09, 05:43

The Lounge is part of the "Fun Stuff" forum. If jokes aren't Fun Stuff, I don't know what is. This thread seems perfectly appropriate here to me.

Mystwalker · 2004-09-09, 15:51

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, 'You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.'

President Bush says, 'Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do.' The Saudi whispers 'My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek.' president Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back, 'It's because it takes place in the future....'

xilman · 2004-09-11, 21:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fusion_power

Please post your favorite political jokes here.

George Dubya Bush?

Paul

(I'm a great fan of black humo{,u}r.

2004-09-07, 03:26	#1
Fusion_power Aug 2003 Snicker, AL 2⁶×3×5 Posts	Your favorite political jokes Two things to avoid on chat boards are politics and religion. I think we might be able to have a political joke thread though without getting personal. Please post your favorite political jokes here. The debate between the two candidates was getting heated with lots of quips and snide comments back and forth. Finally one candidate in exasperation yelled out: "What are you going to do about air pollution?" The other candidate replied: "Keep my mouth shut!" An elderly gentleman walked up to the guardhouse at the whitehouse and spoke to the guard Gentleman: "Does John Kerry live here?" guard: "NO". Gentleman: "Is John Kerry the president?" Guard: NO The elderly gentleman walked away but came back the next day and again asked the same two questions. Each time the guard responded "NO". This continued for 3 days until finally the exasperated guard said: "KERRY doesn't live here and KERRY is NOT president. Why do you keep asking?" To which the elderly gentleman replied "I just like to hear that he's not!" The guard smiled, snapped to attention and said "See you tomorrow sir!" Fusion

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2004-09-09, 01:08	#2
clowns789 Jun 2003 The Computer 401 Posts	A little kid asked to his dad at bedtime, "Do most fairy tales start with 'Once Upon a Time?'" The dad replied, "No, most of them start with, 'If elected, I will...'"

2004-09-09, 05:37	#3
JuanTutors "Juan Tutors" Mar 2004 571 Posts	Can this thread be moved down to "Soapbox"?

2004-09-09, 05:43	#4
dswanson Aug 2002 2³×5² Posts	The Lounge is part of the "Fun Stuff" forum. If jokes aren't Fun Stuff, I don't know what is. This thread seems perfectly appropriate here to me.

2004-09-09, 15:51	#5
Mystwalker Jul 2004 Potsdam, Germany 3·277 Posts	The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, 'You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.' President Bush says, 'Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do.' The Saudi whispers 'My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek.' president Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi, and whispers back, 'It's because it takes place in the future....'