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Old 2022-06-26, 19:35   #1211
ewmayer
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Spotted on the web:

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit “What are you doing in here?” The rabbit replies “Autocorrect.”
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Old 2022-06-26, 21:08   #1212
Uncwilly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ewmayer View Post
Spotted on the web:

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit “What are you doing in here?” The rabbit replies “Autocorrect.”
Very similar.
Quote:
Originally Posted by xilman View Post
A Roman Catholic priest, a Protestant minister and a rabbit walk in to a blood bank.

The rabbit says: I think I am a type O.
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Old 2022-07-04, 16:57   #1213
retina
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1 trillion microphones = 1 megaphone
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
20 cards = 2 decacards
1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
2 wharves = 1 paradox

Last fiddled with by ewmayer on 2022-07-04 at 23:13 Reason: 1 paramedic = 2 medics; 20 cents == 1 paradigm
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Old 2022-07-05, 03:02   #1214
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Wouldn't a trillion microphones be a teraphone?

EDIT: Nevermind. I get it now -- a trillion micros. Like the thread title says: Dumb Jokes Thread. Sometimes it isn't the joke that's dumb, it's the reader...

Last fiddled with by PhilF on 2022-07-05 at 03:08
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Old 2022-07-05, 03:09   #1215
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Would a polygon with 1012 sides be a teragon?
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Old 2022-07-05, 04:17   #1216
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Sardonicus View Post
Would a polygon with 1012 sides be a teragon?
More like a “circle”.
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Old 2022-07-05, 08:22   #1217
xilman
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Reminds me of the unit of intelligence.
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Old 2022-07-05, 13:58   #1218
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xilman View Post
Reminds me of the unit of intelligence.
tarragon?
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Old 2022-07-05, 14:08   #1219
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Quote:
Originally Posted by masser View Post
tarragon?
I thought it was well known in these parts. I may well have posted it myself.

Anyway the unit of intelligence is the "tary", defined as the intelligence of an average person. Einstein was in the kilotary class. A unit in common use is the millitary.

Last fiddled with by xilman on 2022-07-05 at 14:08
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Old 2022-07-05, 17:41   #1220
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A kilotary would be a force to reckon with. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tary
Could probably easily destroy Tary. https://www.definitions.net/definition/tary
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Old 2022-08-22, 05:07   #1221
retina
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I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta.

Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it's next day delivery?

My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.

By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I, but it is the same house and the same family.

I hate funerals. I'm not a mourning person.

I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that's four hours of my life that I'm definitely getting back.

I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx.

I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery.

Don't knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

I can't even be bothered to be apathetic these days.
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