English and all that

[JHagerson]

Originally Posted by R.D. Silverman

Hey! I've got a shirt that needs irony.

I prefer shirts made from cotton blended with a little polyester. Just wash and wear. No irony necessary!

[xilman]

Originally Posted by R.D. Silverman

Hey! I've got a shirt that needs irony.

You like rust stains on your clothing?

Paul

[OmbooHankvald]

Originally Posted by fetofs

OH, read the post above Alex's.
It surely was "some kind of irony".

Oops..
I guess I should'nt be on the Internet when I'm sleepy...

OH

[garo]

Originally Posted by akruppa

Heard that from a guy at the conservatorium:

Q: Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the violin?

A: It saves time.

Alex

Ceterum laudo:
He studied Latin like the violin, because he liked it. - Robert Frost
in "The Death of the Hired Man"

[mfgoode]

I actually heard this from a small town girl.
'I live in a railway connoly'
We have an old and huge market in Mumbai called Crawford market.
She said ' take me to the Profard market.
In a snack shop she said 'I want mutton paitteses'
Mally

[ewmayer]

In between irony and derision, there is a deep sar chasm.

[Fusion_power]

Is there a Trans Plant hanging around that Sar Chasm? If so, you read too much Piers Anthony.

[mfgoode]

Jail ---- gaol .

http://www.bifroest.demon.co.uk/misc/homophones.html
mally

[ewmayer]

Originally Posted by mfgoode

Jail ---- gaol

In a similar vain (or was it vane?):
bunk = bunkum = buncombe
(i.e. nonsense, crap, rubbish, tosh, tripe, etc.)

The history of the word "buncombe" is quite interesting - not too surprisingly, it involves a politician.

[ewmayer]

I used to give a copy of the following poem (which can be found in numerous versions on the web) to my undergraduate engineering students (notoriously poor grammarians):

====

Spell Checker Poem - 1st Version

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Anon I Muss

====

Spell Checker Poem - 2nd Version

I have a spelling chequer.
It came with my pea sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

A chequer is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when I rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
eye trussed too bee a joule.
The chequer pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling chequer's Hour
spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flair,
Their are no fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a ware.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays,
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting too pleas.

-- Sauce Unknown

[moo]

Um ok that went out in an email a few weeks ago.........