Dumb (Jokes) Thread - Page 101

Uncwilly · 2021-03-11, 15:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogue

BREAKING: Teacher Arrested At Pearson Airport

https://www.mersenneforum.org/showth...tion#post16881
https://www.mersenneforum.org/showth...tion#post86162

Pro tip, search this thread:

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rogue · 2021-03-11, 16:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncwilly

https://www.mersenneforum.org/showth...tion#post16881
https://www.mersenneforum.org/showth...tion#post86162

Pro tip, search this thread:Attachment 24472

I see. I have seen the joke before, but could not remember if I had read it here.

Dobri · 2021-04-22, 20:16

The teacher tells Little Johnny:
- Little Johnny, give me an example of responsibility!
Little Johnny replies:
- Ma'am, all the buttons on my pants are ripped out. There is only one left and it bears all the responsibility!

EdH · 2021-04-22, 21:13

American Football:

A game which begins with a quarter being tossed into the air, followed by two hours of the teams trying to get the quarter back!

Xyzzy · 2021-05-02, 21:36

"I swapped all my flatmate's herbs with her spices to mess with her - She hasn't noticed yet, but the thyme is cumin!"

kriesel · 2021-05-03, 18:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdH

American Football:

A game which begins with a quarter being tossed into the air, followed by two hours of the teams trying to get the quarter back!

1) A game which takes 3.5 hours of elapsed time, for 60 minutes of game clock time, and contains maybe 30 minutes of actual activity, played mostly with the hands and a "ball" resembling a pointy dirigible, from which the players typically take a week or more to recover, in the few months of the year that its season occurs, as a vehicle for airing and ensuring a large audience for a seemingly infinite number of commercials. Skilled use of a video recorder and its remote control can reduce total viewing time to 3/4 hour or less without missing any of the actual on-field activity.
2) A game which provides American males something to talk about, instead of something important.

xilman · 2021-05-03, 18:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by kriesel

1) A game which takes 3.5 hours of elapsed time, for 60 minutes of game clock time, and contains maybe 30 minutes of actual activity, played mostly with the hands and a "ball" resembling a pointy dirigible, from which the players typically take a week or more to recover, in the few months of the year that its season occurs, as a vehicle for airing and ensuring a large audience for a seemingly infinite number of commercials. Skilled use of a video recorder and its remote control can reduce total viewing time to 3/4 hour or less without missing any of the actual on-field activity.
2) A game which provides American males something to talk about, instead of something important.

More correctly named "handegg".

Dobri · 2021-05-14, 20:01

Young periodic cicadas walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Minors are not permitted to drink alcohol on licensed premises under any circumstances. Come back again after 17 years."

chalsall · 2021-05-17, 18:49

A photon enters a bar...

It has no concept of opening hours...

Viliam Furik · 2021-05-17, 20:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by chalsall

A photon enters a bar...

It has no concept of opening hours...

I don't get it. Could you explain in PM?

chalsall · 2021-05-17, 20:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Viliam Furik

I don't get it. Could you explain in PM?

Sorry. No. I don't have the time...

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2021-04-22, 20:16	#1103
Dobri May 2018 1A₁₆ Posts	The teacher tells Little Johnny: - Little Johnny, give me an example of responsibility! Little Johnny replies: - Ma'am, all the buttons on my pants are ripped out. There is only one left and it bears all the responsibility!

2021-04-22, 21:13	#1104
EdH "Ed Hall" Dec 2009 Adirondack Mtns 11·347 Posts	American Football: A game which begins with a quarter being tossed into the air, followed by two hours of the teams trying to get the quarter back!

2021-05-02, 21:36	#1105
Xyzzy "Mike" Aug 2002 2⁵×257 Posts	"I swapped all my flatmate's herbs with her spices to mess with her - She hasn't noticed yet, but the thyme is cumin!"

2021-05-14, 20:01	#1108
Dobri May 2018 2·13 Posts	Young periodic cicadas walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Minors are not permitted to drink alcohol on licensed premises under any circumstances. Come back again after 17 years."

2021-05-17, 18:49	#1109
chalsall If I May "Chris Halsall" Sep 2002 Barbados 2·5·7·139 Posts	A photon enters a bar... It has no concept of opening hours...