Any 25+ year olds here who've never been in a romantic relationship?

MooMoo2 · 2016-06-12, 23:32

I'm one of them. Never did anything romantic or sexual with anyone in my life. That includes males, females, transgender people, and hermaphrodites.

I never really thought about it much until yesterday, when my younger cousin invited me to his wedding. It felt a bit surreal that someone that close to me and a few years younger was ready to commit to someone else for the rest of his life. I know that many people will think that I'm the odd one here, and maybe I am. Strangely enough, I didn't have this feeling when two of my friends put their lives on the line and joined the military. When I thought about it more, almost everyone my age that I know is either married, about to get married, or in a committed relationship with someone else.

Other than that, I'm a pretty normal person. I don't think my life is that much different than most people. I graduated from college, have a full-time job, and have my own house and car. Some weekends are fun, adventurous ones where I go jet-skiing, off-roading, skydiving, hang gliding, etc. Too many fun and exiting activities to list. Other weekends are quiet weekends where I read magazines, watch the news, do chores, or look at the stars while lying in my hammock. I've been to 26 American states and 8 countries and had a great time in most of them.

Some people are shocked when I tell them that I've never dated anyone before. A few of them told me that I'm missing out on life. I may be missing out on the hassles, but am I really missing out on anything good? I've seen too many people literally investing blood (tattoos, bruises from arguments, etc.), sweat (money from working), and tears into relationships that eventually go bad, and that's wasted resources that could have been put to much better use. And before you say I'm missing out on sex, I think I'd rather have booze than sex, and I consider myself a very light drinker. I'm averaging 10-15 drinks per year, not per week.

I think friends, relatives, and pets can easily substitute for being in a romantic relationship with someone. Life is too short to be worrying about whether that significant other likes you, is cheating on you, or is planning a breakup. Life is too short to be spending your hard earned money on alimony and/or child support. Life is too short to be wondering how to cure that sexually transmitted disease you caught or whether it's even curable. And most importantly, life is too short to be spending the best years of your life with someone whose personality and appearance will almost certainly change, maybe for the worse, in a few years.

Anyone else here with similar opinions and/or experiences?

pinhodecarlos · 2016-06-12, 23:43

My first date was with my wife at age of 27....

rogue · 2016-06-12, 23:47

I did not get romantically involved with anyone until I was 26 and she asked me out. I had been on very few dates before that time, but really didn't connect with anyone. I dated the girl that asked me out for about three months before ending it because it wasn't what I wanted. It took me nearly a year after that relationship ended (and some bad dates with other women) before I knew what I wanted. I had two longer relationships after that, but neither relationship worked out as I realized that I couldn't achieve what I wanted with them. It wasn't until I was 30 that I met my wife. We've been together now for 18 years, married for 16.5 of them. My wife and I fit very well together and as a result we are both very happy. I have achieved everything I have wanted with her and because of her.

science_man_88 · 2016-06-13, 00:28

I'm going on 28 this year and I personally don't have a reason to have a relationship other than my father might like it too much.

Batalov · 2016-06-13, 03:24

I'm technically not in this class, but barely. I've formed a relationship at ~24.5 yrs.
And now my daughter (the older child of the two) is firmly on the same path; she will be 25 in two weeks and doesn't seem to be interested in the silly stuff whatsoever.

This rather reminds me of an old quip: "Jones is a hereditary bachelor. His father and his grandfather and his grand-grandfather were all bachelors."
(AFAIR, I've already used this joke back in 2012. Iirc, xilman commented that doesn't it make Jones a hereditary bastard? )

This trait is reasonably hereditary.

Xyzzy · 2016-06-13, 03:54

Perhaps there is an inverse relationship between a person's education level and the number of offspring they have?

Or maybe math nerds do not get many dates?

pinhodecarlos · 2016-06-13, 07:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xyzzy

Or maybe math nerds do not get many dates?

Or prefer to read and read instead of going out with friends. That was and is still my case.

pepi37 · 2016-06-13, 15:45

I have my first date at 27. Have several relationship, but ( it looks like) I never meet "right one"
Last relationship was truly disaster. So I give up, open new page of book of my life and start enjoy in nature. Funny stuff is that she was one who "force" my love to mountains.
I one thing primes and women are same: you must pass many candidates until prime is found. I would like that sieve for women exist....

Batalov · 2016-06-13, 17:09

Try Proust_Questionnaire. That's a good sieve. (Almost no one will be left after it. :-)

pepi37 · 2016-06-13, 17:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batalov

Try Proust_Questionnaire. That's a good sieve. (Almost no one will be left after it. :-)

It looks same as prime ( as predicted) - almost no one will be left

Batalov, when I sow your answer, I started to laugh from the bottom of my heart.
It looks like that is true answer

But as we not know where is next prime located, and when we will find it, who know, maybe tomorrow I found my "prime wife" :)

Brian-E · 2016-06-13, 17:35

I'm not an example because I spent my entire teen years falling desperately in love with people, then finally met my other half (who is also a forum member here) and have lived with him for 30 years.

But I find your individual outlook on this matter very positive, MooMoo2. The most important thing to keep in mind is that we are all different, and what suits one person will not suit others. That is why the universal blueprint for life (get married, have children, always stay faithful to your spouse) which pretty much every young person gets pressurised to adopt, can be so damaging.

A friend of ours is in his early forties and has always been single. He's a social person, has many friends, but doesn't want to live with anyone else. That's just what suits him.

Some people, probably more than has been assumed up until recently, are asexual. That's not necessarily the same thing as not wanting a committed relationship, but it's another example of how dating and then getting married to someone will not suit everyone.

2016-06-12, 23:32	#1
MooMoo2 Aug 2010 2·11·29 Posts	Any 25+ year olds here who've never been in a romantic relationship? I'm one of them. Never did anything romantic or sexual with anyone in my life. That includes males, females, transgender people, and hermaphrodites. I never really thought about it much until yesterday, when my younger cousin invited me to his wedding. It felt a bit surreal that someone that close to me and a few years younger was ready to commit to someone else for the rest of his life. I know that many people will think that I'm the odd one here, and maybe I am. Strangely enough, I didn't have this feeling when two of my friends put their lives on the line and joined the military. When I thought about it more, almost everyone my age that I know is either married, about to get married, or in a committed relationship with someone else. Other than that, I'm a pretty normal person. I don't think my life is that much different than most people. I graduated from college, have a full-time job, and have my own house and car. Some weekends are fun, adventurous ones where I go jet-skiing, off-roading, skydiving, hang gliding, etc. Too many fun and exiting activities to list. Other weekends are quiet weekends where I read magazines, watch the news, do chores, or look at the stars while lying in my hammock. I've been to 26 American states and 8 countries and had a great time in most of them. Some people are shocked when I tell them that I've never dated anyone before. A few of them told me that I'm missing out on life. I may be missing out on the hassles, but am I really missing out on anything good? I've seen too many people literally investing blood (tattoos, bruises from arguments, etc.), sweat (money from working), and tears into relationships that eventually go bad, and that's wasted resources that could have been put to much better use. And before you say I'm missing out on sex, I think I'd rather have booze than sex, and I consider myself a very light drinker. I'm averaging 10-15 drinks per year, not per week. I think friends, relatives, and pets can easily substitute for being in a romantic relationship with someone. Life is too short to be worrying about whether that significant other likes you, is cheating on you, or is planning a breakup. Life is too short to be spending your hard earned money on alimony and/or child support. Life is too short to be wondering how to cure that sexually transmitted disease you caught or whether it's even curable. And most importantly, life is too short to be spending the best years of your life with someone whose personality and appearance will almost certainly change, maybe for the worse, in a few years. Anyone else here with similar opinions and/or experiences?

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2016-06-12, 23:43	#2
pinhodecarlos "Carlos Pinho" Oct 2011 Milton Keynes, UK 1001101010011₂ Posts	My first date was with my wife at age of 27....

2016-06-12, 23:47	#3
rogue "Mark" Apr 2003 Between here and the 18CB₁₆ Posts	I did not get romantically involved with anyone until I was 26 and she asked me out. I had been on very few dates before that time, but really didn't connect with anyone. I dated the girl that asked me out for about three months before ending it because it wasn't what I wanted. It took me nearly a year after that relationship ended (and some bad dates with other women) before I knew what I wanted. I had two longer relationships after that, but neither relationship worked out as I realized that I couldn't achieve what I wanted with them. It wasn't until I was 30 that I met my wife. We've been together now for 18 years, married for 16.5 of them. My wife and I fit very well together and as a result we are both very happy. I have achieved everything I have wanted with her and because of her.

2016-06-13, 00:28	#4
science_man_88 "Forget I exist" Jul 2009 Dumbassville 2⁶·131 Posts	I'm going on 28 this year and I personally don't have a reason to have a relationship other than my father might like it too much.

2016-06-13, 03:24	#5
Batalov "Serge" Mar 2008 Phi(4,2^7658614+1)/2 22405₈ Posts	I'm technically not in this class, but barely. I've formed a relationship at ~24.5 yrs. And now my daughter (the older child of the two) is firmly on the same path; she will be 25 in two weeks and doesn't seem to be interested in the silly stuff whatsoever. This rather reminds me of an old quip: "Jones is a hereditary bachelor. His father and his grandfather and his grand-grandfather were all bachelors." (AFAIR, I've already used this joke back in 2012. Iirc, xilman commented that doesn't it make Jones a hereditary bastard? ) This trait is reasonably hereditary.

2016-06-13, 03:54	#6
Xyzzy "Mike" Aug 2002 2⁵×257 Posts	Perhaps there is an inverse relationship between a person's education level and the number of offspring they have? Or maybe math nerds do not get many dates?

2016-06-13, 15:45	#8
pepi37 Dec 2011 After milion nines:) 10110100101₂ Posts	I have my first date at 27. Have several relationship, but ( it looks like) I never meet "right one" Last relationship was truly disaster. So I give up, open new page of book of my life and start enjoy in nature. Funny stuff is that she was one who "force" my love to mountains. I one thing primes and women are same: you must pass many candidates until prime is found. I would like that sieve for women exist....

2016-06-13, 17:09	#9
Batalov "Serge" Mar 2008 Phi(4,2^7658614+1)/2 2505₁₆ Posts	Try Proust_Questionnaire. That's a good sieve. (Almost no one will be left after it. :-)

2016-06-13, 17:35	#11
Brian-E "Brian" Jul 2007 The Netherlands 7×467 Posts	I'm not an example because I spent my entire teen years falling desperately in love with people, then finally met my other half (who is also a forum member here) and have lived with him for 30 years. But I find your individual outlook on this matter very positive, MooMoo2. The most important thing to keep in mind is that we are all different, and what suits one person will not suit others. That is why the universal blueprint for life (get married, have children, always stay faithful to your spouse) which pretty much every young person gets pressurised to adopt, can be so damaging. A friend of ours is in his early forties and has always been single. He's a social person, has many friends, but doesn't want to live with anyone else. That's just what suits him. Some people, probably more than has been assumed up until recently, are asexual. That's not necessarily the same thing as not wanting a committed relationship, but it's another example of how dating and then getting married to someone will not suit everyone.