Dumb (Jokes) Thread

[only_human]

Originally Posted by Mark Rose

If you pour root beer into a square cup, does it become beer?

Perhaps. Is cubed rutabaga a square meal?

[xilman]

Originally Posted by only_human

Perhaps. Is cubed rutabaga a square meal?

I don't think so. A cubed rutabaga is a baga^3/2 in my estimation.

[only_human]

Originally Posted by xilman

I don't think so. A cubed rutabaga is a baga^3/2 in my estimation.

Good to know... not safe for Gastrocosmology then. As long as frozen root beer ice cubes don't give us ice nine. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice-nine

[only_human]

Originally Posted by Xyzzy

This is only vaguely related, but we found this article very interesting: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sallie_Gardner_at_a_Gallop

Originally Posted by kladner

That is one of the most groundbreaking set of photos in all the history of photography.

Originally Posted by Batalov

The Matrix bullet scene was filmed using the same 120 year (then) old technology.
Just goes to show - there's nothing new under the sun.

This following imaging of light propagating in a coke bottle seemed pretty cool when it came out but I just looked at the youtube clip again and it underwhelms somehow; perhaps because of the music.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-fSqFWcb4rE

Dec 11, 2011We have built an imaging solution that allows us to visualize propagation of light at an effective rate of one trillion frames per second. Direct recording of light at such a frame rate with sufficient brightness is nearly impossible. We use an indirect 'stroboscopic' method that combines millions of repeated measurements by careful scanning in time and viewpoints.

The device has been developed by the MIT Media Lab's Camera Culture group in collaboration with Bawendi Lab in the Department of Chemistry at MIT. A laser pulse that lasts less than one trillionth of a second is used as a flash and the light returning from the scene is collected by a camera at a rate equivalent to roughly 1 trillion frames per second. However, due to very short exposure times (roughly one trillionth of a second) and a narrow field of view of the camera, the video is captured over several minutes by repeated and periodic sampling.

For more info visit http://raskar.info/trillionfps
http://femtophoto.info
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/13/sc...mera.html?_r=1
http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2011/t...mera-1213.html
http://cornar.info
http://www.slideshare.net/cameracult...on-fps-imaging

[Xyzzy]

The Matrix bullet scene was filmed using the same 120 year (then) old technology.

[lycorn]

There was this guy who came from the lower classes but became rich, due to his mercantile and business skills. He went up the social ranks fairly quickly, in fact much faster than his education and politeness could keep up with. So one evening he was invited to a high society ball, full of posh and sophisticated people.
At a certain moment, he was waltzing (sort of...) with a gorjeous noble lady. After a few minutes, he got so excited he couldn´t help saying to her:

"Well, madam, I reckon it´s about time I take you to one of the bedrooms upstairs, isn´t it?"
The lady got loose and stared at him in horror.
He saw how troubled she was and immediately tried to amend what he had just said:

"I mean, I´ll pay for it, of course!"

[ewmayer]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only \$2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "\$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking \$980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of \$900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are staring
at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks,
"Anyone know whose phone this is?"

[only_human]

Mathematical joke - Wikipedia:

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."[15]

(15. Krawcewicz, Wiesław; Rai, B. (2003-01-01). "Calculus with Maple Labs : early transcendentals". ISBN 9781842650745.)

[retina]

One One was a racehorse
Two Two was one too
One One won one race
Two Two won one too

[only_human]

One One won one once when One One was one.

[xilman]

Wonder if these transparent coffins will catch on? Remains to be seen.