Job Opening!

[LaurV]

Originally Posted by kladner

Who's the new victim Honored Employee, and what is the job?

That is me (and ET_, but he does not count ).
The job is hitman.
PM your targets to me.
However, I am not a non-discriminant killer, three conditions must be fulfilled:
1. the person who will die must worth his/her fate. This is for me to decide, I won't kill someone who I consider innocent. OTOH, I might kill some guy for free if he is really so bad... no arguing thinking about...
2. money should match the target. I would kill few people here for a couple of bucks, but if you want some tough guy dead, as a president or a mafia head, then you have to part off your millions... Also, the price goes in reverse with the guilt. For the right money, I might kill some innocent guy. But if innocent, price will be quite high, and he must be Russian
3. no kids. Regardless their guilt, or habits, or the fact that (at least one who I know) I would want to kill them everyday 10 times.

[LaurV]

and I edited my post, for those who clicked the "reply" to early.

because I can.

[kracker]

Originally Posted by LaurV

That is me (and ET_, but he does not count ).
The job is hitman.
PM your targets to me.
However, I am not a non-discriminant killer, three conditions must be fulfilled:
1. the person who will die must worth his/her fate. This is for me to decide, I won't kill someone who I consider innocent. OTOH, I might kill some guy for free if he is really so bad... no arguing thinking about...
2. money should match the target. I would kill few people here for a couple of bucks, but if you want some tough guy dead, as a president or a mafia head, then you have to part off your millions... Also, the price goes in reverse with the guilt. For the right money, I might kill some innocent guy. But if innocent, price will be quite high, and he must be Russian
3. no kids. Regardless their guilt, or habits, or the fact that (at least one who I know) I would want to kill them everyday 10 times.

How much do I pay you to have protection?

[LaurV]

Originally Posted by kracker

How much do I pay you to have protection?

Oh no, that is a too complicate job for us. We are very sorry. That is more like mafia style, it requires a "distribution network", or how it is called, a lot of people and machinery to go around, take care, watch the things, watch the good guys, the bad guys... That is a 24/7 hours job, like factoring integers... We are more like a troubleshooter, punctual job. We work when we like. Hooper style, we come, we eat we go...

[edit: and what the hack you need protection for? With your DC fire power, I need protection from you!]

[Uncwilly]

Originally Posted by LaurV

That is me (and ET_, but he does not count ).
The job is hitman.
PM your targets to me.

Have you seen the original "The Mechanic"?

[ET_]

Well, LaurV, never, never tell an Italian amateur mathematician that he doesn't count! It may turn out that you get into his list...

Yeah, ok, boys there has been a bit too much xlush round here lately...

[retina]

Originally Posted by LaurV

That is me (and ET_, but he does not count ).
The job is hitman.
PM your targets to me.

Sorry, no PMs since I wouldn't want to make the NSAs job too hard. Target no. 1 is Mini-me. He's driving me nuts, the little bugger. Just take care of it for me okay. He likes loves adores worships chocolate so if you paint a van with "Free chocolate here" on the side that should be enough of a lure (there, I've already done half your work for you already).

Originally Posted by LaurV

<Rules, conditions, blah blah blah>

Payment is the opportunity to interview for a position here as one of my minions.

[kracker]

Originally Posted by LaurV

[edit: and what the hack you need protection for? With your DC fire power, I need protection from you!]

F that!

EDIT: Soon Chuck Norris and Curtis Cooper will fear him!

[kracker]

Can you kill animals cheaper? There is one that I...

How much?