IMO, the best kind of chess club is the one with which you bonk your opponent over the head when you realize you are losing.
[Cue short of Bugs Bunny keeping the hungry-but-not-very-bright lion from eating him by whipping up a tea-for-two tableau, holding the sugar bowl out in one hand (giant wooden mallet behind back in other) and asking, "One lump or two?"]
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