I bought a 3D printer, printed a second 3D printer, and then returned the first on the grounds it was redundant.

I was absolutely delighted when the kind people at the Inland Revenue wrote to me recently, telling me that my tax return was "outstanding", particularly since I can't even remember sending it in.

What do you call the prices of pies sold by aunts of William Penn? The pie rates of Penn's aunts.

Which cheese is made backwards? Edam.

A book fell on my head. I've got only my shelf to blame.

What do you call a short clairvoyant person who just broke out of prison? A small medium at large.

[URL="https://www.mersenneforum.org/showpost.php?p=498817&postcount=716:razz:"]https://www.mersenneforum.org/showpost.php?p=498817&postcount=716[/URL]
:razz:

[QUOTE=EdH;530561][URL="https://www.mersenneforum.org/showpost.php?p=498817&postcount=716:razz:"]https://www.mersenneforum.org/showpost.php?p=498817&postcount=716[/URL]
:razz:[/QUOTE]:gah:

[QUOTE=retina;530568]:gah:[/QUOTE]
The best way to avoid that in the future is to put them all in a database and search before you post.

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;530569]The best way to avoid that in the future is to put them all in a database and search before you post.[/QUOTE]
Actually, I'd rather see them again, to keep them in mind. I just wanted to "pick" on retina a tiny bit. . .:smile:

The thing I keep forgetting that gets me in the most trouble is, that my memory isn't as good as it used to be.

After you die what is the last part of your body to stop working? Your pupils, they dilate.

What did baby corn say to mom corn? Where's popcorn?

How do you render the Mandelbrot set? It's complex.

I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire. Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

A pirate goes to see the doctor...
Pirate: "There be moles on my back, arrrrrrrr!"
Doctor: "It's OK, it looks like they're benign"
Pirate: "Check again, I think there be ten!"

[QUOTE=retina;530653]A pirate goes to see the doctor...
Pirate: "There be moles on my back, arrrrrrrr!"
Doctor: "It's OK, it looks like they're benign"
Pirate: "Check again, I think there be ten!"[/QUOTE]
I'm confused. Nine? Ten? A mole is [i]way[/i] more than that - around 6.02 x 10[sup]23[/sup] if memory serves...

[QUOTE=retina;530653]A pirate goes to see the doctor...
Pirate: "There be moles on my back, arrrrrrrr!"
Doctor: "It's OK, it looks like they're benign"
Pirate: "Check again, I think there be ten!"[/QUOTE]

[YOUTUBE]WmpLUezDzoo[/YOUTUBE]

[QUOTE=Dr Sardonicus;530660]I'm confused. Nine? Ten? A mole is [i]way[/i] more than that - around 6.02 x 10[sup]23[/sup] if memory serves...[/QUOTE]What are you talking about? A mole is [url=https://www.livescience.com/52297-moles.html]this[/url].