Not fun anymore (both of you), now I knew what to expect :razz:

[QUOTE=LaurV;498333]Not fun anymore (both of you), now I knew what to expect :razz:[/QUOTE]


"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.


[QUOTE=retina;498323][spoiler]... Since you have led such an unselfish and friendly existence for your entire life...[/spoiler][/QUOTE]
Yeah, that's me!...

[QUOTE=EdH;498357]"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.[/QUOTE]

little did he know they were his uncle and grandfather.

[QUOTE=EdH;498357]"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.[/QUOTE]Little did he know that his rival had it in for him. "It's curtains for you." said his rival.

A scientist is studying frogs. He teaches one to jump on the command, "Jump frog, jump!" He then marks a spot on the floor, places the frog on the spot and uses the command. The frog leaps across the floor. The scientist measures the distance and comes up with 106.4 cm. He records this in his notes:
[quote](Baseline) - Normal frog jumps 106.4 cm[/quote]He removes a leg and places the frog back on the spot. "Jump frog, jump!" This time he measures 93.7 cm.
[quote]
(Baseline) - Normal frog jumps 106.4 cm
Frog with three legs jumps 93.7 cm
[/quote]He removes another leg and places the frog on the spot again. "Jump frog, Jump!"
[quote]
(Baseline) - Normal frog jumps 106.4 cm
Frog with three legs jumps 93.7 cm
Frog with two legs jumps 73.1 cm
[/quote]He removes a third leg... "Jump frog, Jump!" This time the frog doesn't actually jump, but rolls over instead.
[quote]
(Baseline) - Normal frog jumps 106.4 cm
Frog with three legs jumps 93.7 cm
Frog with two legs jumps 73.1 cm
Frog with one leg rolls over - 5.3 cm
[/quote]He removes the last leg... "Jump frog, Jump!" "Jump frog, Jump!" "JUMP FROG, JUMP!!"
[quote]
(Baseline) - Normal frog jumps 106.4 cm
Frog with three legs jumps 93.7 cm
Frog with two legs jumps 73.1 cm
Frog with one leg rolls over - 5.3 cm
**Important Discovery** [spoiler]Frog with no legs is deaf![/spoiler]

[/quote]

A pastor was preaching in church during a storm. There was a nearby lightning strike and a tremendous clap of thunder. The power failed and the lights went out. Everyone was left in darkness.

"Worry not. Remain calm. Everybody, please raise your hands," said the Pastor. The congregation, though puzzled, did as he asked.

Miraculously, just a few seconds later the lights came back on.

The congregation began murmuring, and someone finally asked the pastor, "How did that happen?"

"Very simple," said the pastor. "Many hands make light work!"

In medieval times there was a knight who lost his horse in a freak accident. As it turned out, he also had a Mastiff. He moved all the horse's accoutrements to the dog and found it was still not nearly overburdened. He decided to see if he could be carried too and found the Mastiff did quite well as a replacement for his horse. Since horse's were rather expensive, he put off getting another one and continued to ride around on his Mastiff.

But, as the weather turned cold and winter set in, he found that this animal couldn't trudge through the snow as well as a horse, which had longer legs. In one particularly bad blizzard, he found it pretty hard indeed. He happened to see a house dimly lit through the darkness and made his way there. He then asked the owner if he might put them up for the evening.

The owner looked out and said, [spoiler]"Of course! I couldn't turn a knight out on a dog like this!"[/spoiler]

A young man was traveling through the countryside when he happened upon a monastery and was greeted by some monks. They spoke for quite some time and the young man was invited to spend the night.

In the morning he was asked how he slept and responded that he had a peaceful sleep, although he had heard a most amazing sound during the night. He asked what the sound was and was told it was a sacred object only known to the higher order of the monks. He wanted to see it, but was told he could not because he was not a monk. He asked if it could at least be described to him, but again, it could not because he wasn't a monk.

When the young man continued his travels the next day, he was continually drawn back mentally to the sound he had heard and within a few days he started on a quest to become a monk. It turned out to be a long quest, and although he still wasn't advanced enough to see it, he could finally, at least be given a description:

[spoiler]But, it can't be described here, because you guys are not monks![/spoiler]

[QUOTE=EdH;498448]A young man was traveling through the countryside when he happened upon a monastery and was greeted by some monks. <snip>[/QUOTE]
Ye Olde [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story]Shaggy dog story[/url].

[QUOTE=Dr Sardonicus;498478]Ye Olde [URL="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story"]Shaggy dog story[/URL].[/QUOTE]
But, the dog was in the previous one...

Golfer 1: "Check out this set of clubs I got for my spouse!"

Golfer 2: "Wow! Great trade!"