[quote=davieddy;212863]I opt for the house white.
Delightful waitress: "Would you like a bottle, or would
you prefer it by the grass?"

No marks for guessing my reply.

David[/quote]
Rhetorical and not even a question admittedly.

But I sent a copy to my old bridge partner who came back with:

"I would expect you to ask for a reeter."

David

[QUOTE=mfgoode;75320]:cool: That was great Paul. Let me attach a meaning to them

0 is the average guy.

BSc: A fellow who can listen to the "William Tell Overture" without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

MSc: A man who has discovered something more interesting than women.

PhD: A person who is educated beyond his intelligence! :grin:
Mally :coffee:[/QUOTE]


hey now I was told Phd's were smarter than me but I fit 2 of your definitions of these,MSc, and PhD lol.

here's one I told someone once:

why do most men go into the tool department of a store ?


[SPOILER]Because they are tools. Only the real studs get into the lumber department[/SPOILER]

My wife and I went grocery shopping. She "reminded" me in ways and in a tone only a wife can that we are on a budget.

We walked past the beer aisle and I picked up two six packs.
She asked: "How much is the beer"
I said: "$10"
She retorted: "TOO MUCH. Put it back."
I did so.

The next aisle was cosmetics and my wife proceeded to load the cart.
I asked how much all that was going to cost.
She said: Only $20"
I asked: "And why do you need all that stuff"
She replied: "It makes me prettier."
I said: "So does the beer and it's cheaper"

petrw1 I see a divorce ahead or at least an attempted murder.

[QUOTE=science_man_88;213524]petrw1 I see a divorce ahead or at least an attempted murder.[/QUOTE]

If this really did happen to me then you are correct ... but truly it was a joke a heard. WHEW!!!

funny development my sister told my i was an ahole but if I'm the ahole doesn't that mean i have to deal with the families crap ?

[QUOTE=science_man_88;213542]funny development my sister told my i was an ahole but if I'm the ahole doesn't that mean i have to deal with the families crap ?[/QUOTE]

me*

A blonde, a midget, a three legged dog, a clown, a drunk, a duck, a nurse, a farmer's daughter, a priest, a chicken, a lawyer, a texan, a bear, a monkey, a salesman, a General, a deaf mute and a blind guy all walked into a bar and sat down. The bartender asked, "[spoiler]What is this - a joke?[/spoiler]"

What did Bambi say when she came out of the woods?
[spoiler]I'll never do that again for two bucks![/spoiler]

[quote=__HRB__;214921]What did Bambi say when she came out of the woods?
[spoiler]I'll never do that again for two bucks![/spoiler][/quote]
I'll reply when I hear something funnier.
Shouldn't be more than a few hours.
(Unless I get arrested before they see I'm coming)

Sundance