:lol:

Choir !
 

:wink:

A young teenage girl was walking up the steep steps to the choir when the pastor looked up.

He caught up with her and told her

'You are not wearing any panties !. Here take $50 and buy your self a couple'

The girl was very happy and told her mom about it.

The mom without hesitation took her own panties off and hurried to the choir.

She was climbing up the steps when once again the pastor observed her.

She smiled at him and he pulled out a dollar.

'here take this and buy your self a razor and have a shave' :grin:

Mally :coffee:

A Spooky Story
 

This true story happened in Soweto([B]SO[/B]uth [B]WE[/B]st [B]TO[/B]wnship just outside Johannesburg) about a month ago.

A man was hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling by and there was hardly a car on the road. The storm was so strong that he could hardly see his feet in front of him.
Suddenly a car came towards him and stopped.

Without thinking, he got in and closed the door just to realize that there was nobody behind the steering wheel.
The car moved off slowly. He looked ahead and saw a curve in the road.
Scared, he started praying, begging for his life. He was terrified.
Just before hitting the curve a hand appeared through the window and turned the steering wheel.
The man, now paralyzed with fear, watched how the hand kept appearing every time they got to a curve.
Gathering all his courage, he jumped out and ran to the nearest lights he could see. Wet and in shock, he went into a shabeen(an informal bar) and asked for a double brandy.
After drinking it, he told everyone of the horrible experience he just had.
Everyone was silent when they realized he was crying.

About half an hour later, two men came walking into the shabeen and, on seeing the terrified man, the one said to the other, "Philemon, isn't that the idiot that got into the car while we were pushing .....?'
:grin:

[QUOTE=Patrick123;102968]This true story happened in Soweto([B]SO[/B]uth [B]WE[/B]st [B]TO[/B]wnship just outside Johannesburg) about a month ago.[/QUOTE]I heard that one several years ago. The setting was a different (local) country.

Unless he was very drunk to start with, I find it hard to believe.

[QUOTE=davieddy;102986]Unless he was very drunk to start with, I find it hard to believe.[/QUOTE]

Hellooooo!! That's why I put it in the dumb jokes thread, meant to be taken with a pinch of salt:wink:

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to London.
I heard prostitutes there get paid £400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on £800 a year".

:lol:

Q Why shouldn't you wear Russian trousers?
A Chernobyl fallout

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her
blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never
takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies. "I
guess it just leaves an impression."

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest. "How did you get that
mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes
off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask? :whistle:

[QUOTE=Patrick123;103538]A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest. "Do you have a
boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask? :whistle:[/QUOTE]

If you change it to [URL="http://www.wellesley.edu/"]Wellsley[/URL] it is even funnier.