From [url]www.titanic-magazin.de[/url]


Gsella am Donnerstag

Beweis


Da gibt es das Kind, das
„Groß“ macht.
Dann gibt es die USA, die
„Großmacht“.
Damit ist doch wohl
alles
gesagt über die
Vereinigten
StAAten...

:smile:
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says,
"Well
>son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the
family,
>so let's call me capitalism. "Your Mom, she's the administrator of the
>money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of
your
>needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the
>Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now,
think
>about that and see if that makes sense."
>
>So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later
>that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check
on
>him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the
little
>boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not
>wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door
locked,
>he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He
gives
>up and goes back to bed.
>
>The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I
>understand the concept of politics now."
>
>The father says, "Good, son; tell me in your own words what you think
>politics is all about."
>
>The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the
Working
>Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored,
and
>the Future is in deep shit." :yucky:

Mally :coffee:

Poetic Battle of the Sexes
 

Thanks to my friend Andy F. for forwarding this one.

=================

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'How big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me no end,
And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar
on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.

I have seen this before
i redrew it in paint..:yzzyx: :yzzyx: :yzzyx:

That reminds me of the joke you can play on the really buff weight-lifting narcissists at the local gym - when one of them says "Can you spot me?", just reply "Sure...there you are."

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween
because Oct 31 == Dec 25

Luigi

[quote=ET_;102228]Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween
because Oct 31 == Dec 25[/quote]:doh!:

[QUOTE=ET_;102228]Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween
because Oct 31 == Dec 25

Luigi[/QUOTE]

:grin: Got it, put it in my back pocket, and will only expose it to real programmers that will appreciate it. :cool:

Regards
Patrick

A doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew Wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control pills.
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?"
"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
"Mrs. Smith, I assure You there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee. "Yes, Dear, I know that.
But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks.
And believe me, it helps me Sleep at Night."

:lol:

I had to post this - Bush at his best
 

"President Bush just announced that next month he will host a White House conference on Malaria. Bush told reporters, 'I'm looking forward to meeting the Malarians.'" --Conan O'Brien

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.:whistle: