[QUOTE=Fusion_power;89987]How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Six.

How so?

One to calculate the parabola, one to calculate the square root, one to write the theorem, one to develop the proof, one to critique the proof and show it is flawed, and one to call the maintenance man because mathematicians don't change light bulbs.

Fusion:wink:[/QUOTE]

Wrong answer: it takes four mathematicians.
One to held the light bulb standing on a chair, and two that turn the chair around... :rolleyes:

Luigi

[QUOTE=ET_;90250]Wrong answer: it takes four mathematicians.
One to held the light bulb standing on a chair, and two that turn the chair around... :rolleyes:

Luigi[/QUOTE]
Wrong answer : one plus two doesn't make four :victor:

[QUOTE=victor;90257]Wrong answer : one plus two doesn't make four :victor:[/QUOTE]
its not wrong
one held the bulb the other pretended to be a chair then the last 2 turned the chair.... :lol:

[QUOTE=victor;90257]Wrong answer : one plus two doesn't make four :victor:[/QUOTE]

You forgot they were mathematicians...

Luigi

Still a virgin!
 

:smile:
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?

Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself.

The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.

And the third was in Tech Support, and kept saying "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now..."

Mally :coffee:

In 2012 I talked about a friend I met who, in 2006, bought a Nintendo Wii. The very first time I met him, we were both standing in line to purchase the devices.

So, basically, [spoiler]I've known him since we were both Wii boys.[/spoiler]

Eye test.
 

:smile:
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply
for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." :grin:

Mally :coffee:

Drink:
 

:rolleyes:
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying." "No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..." :grin:

Mally :coffee:

Herdsman and sheep
 

:smile:
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the
side
of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.
The
driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban
sunglasses,
TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the
Shepherd:
"If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of
them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock
of
grazing sheep and replies: "Okay." The young man parks the car,
connects
his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground
using
his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms
and
pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech
mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly
1,586
sheep here."

The shepherd cheers," That's correct, you can have your sheep."

The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche.
The
shepherd looks at him and asks:
"If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man answers, "Yes, why not". The shepherd says, "You are an
IT
consultant ".How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without
being
called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already
knew,
and third, you don't understand anything about my business...

Now can I have my DOG back?" :grin:

Mally :coffee:

Exhaustion~
 

:smile:
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I
>won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
>I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or
>a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
>whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
>asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
>and utter
>sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
>When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student,
>shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the
>exam with your other hand :down:

Mally :coffee:

I like puns and multiple entendre's. I also like a good joke. You'll have to think about this one a while to see the poignant humor in it.


THE WALLS OF MY CASTLE

The walls rise high above my head
No one sees out, no one sees in
My soul depressed returns to bed
Tired of heartache and sorrows of men

High are those walls, small my domain
I can't reach out, you can't reach in
The sun in the sky and the passing of rain
Tell times tale as i sit here within

I lift my eyes and gaze in wonder
At a sparrow that sits atop my wall
Strange these thoughts, my spirit wakes
Spreads wings, rises, to flight it takes
Up, up, be free, think not to fall
Now beside the sparrow i stop to ponder

The sun shines, and far as eye can see
Rise other walls with ramparts high
Where others sit and won't be free
I see ------- and cannot but sigh