Regaining the affection of a cat
 

A year ago, my girlfriend gave me one of the accidental kittens from her accidental cat; at this point the kitten was three months old. I loved him and hugged him and had him vaccinated and called him Babbage and had his testicles professionally removed, and for the first few months when I came back from work he would appear at the door to greet me. I got a clever cat-flap which recognises his microchip.

In the summer he spends much more time in the garden - this is fine. When it came time for the next round of vaccines, I caught Babbage by setting the catflap to in-only before going to bed. This caused him to spend three hours in the early morning banging on the catflap until he was somehow able to contrive it to open again; I caught him in the garden at breakfast-time, and shut him in a room with cat food, water and a litter box until the vet appointment in the afternoon.

Since then he's clearly been scared of me to the point that, of an evening, he may come in through the catflap but will turn tail and run out again if he catches sight of me. He does eat the food I put down for him, so I'm not afraid he will waste away, but I wish I knew what I could do to get him to trust me again, and what I need to do to be able to take him to the vet without traumatising him again. Any advice?

He did not come in during a series of quite vigorous rainstorms yesterday, but there are some dense bushes in the garden which he hides under (and, I discovered on Saturday, under which he hides the blackbirds that he has massacred)

[QUOTE=fivemack;441016]He did not come in during a series of quite vigorous rainstorms yesterday, but there are some dense bushes in the garden which he hides under (and, I discovered on Saturday, under which he hides the blackbirds that he has massacred)[/QUOTE]

A bit like a woman, a cat must be coveted, desired, provided for, and continuously pursued.

Keep calling for him.

Try playing with the cat when he comes in. Chasing a feather on a string is usually irresistible. Hopefully, he will then associate you with pleasant times again.

Get some fancy wet food. Have this only available closer to you than the normal food, and only when you are home. Slowly move the food closer to you.

At this point the most important thing it to not reinforce the terror that he associates with you… Try to read him, if he gets antsy -- back away.

Next time I would do the same thing with the cat flap, but rig it with a spring or something to make it harder to escape once inside.

A $5 laser pointer might help. Cats love those.

[COLOR=White]http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054593/quotes[/COLOR]

[QUOTE=flagrantflowers;441039]Get some fancy wet food. Have this only available closer to you than the normal food, and only when you are home. Slowly move the food closer to you.

At this point the most important thing it to not reinforce the terror that he associates with you… Try to read him, if he gets antsy -- back away.

Next time I would do the same thing with the cat flap, but rig it with a spring or something to make it harder to escape once inside.[/QUOTE]

The first will work only if the cat likes the wet food. Some don't --- one of ours doesn't --- but the idea is sound. Find something which is a special treat.

Dope (aka catmint) makes some cats very friendly and amenable to being petted.

We never use the cat-trap mode on the kitchen door overnight but only when we're around to grab the cat ready to put it into the carrying basket. The cat-trap is only for insurance in case.

Toys, such as the suggested laser pointer, might work but often don't unless the cat is quite young.

Some cats never become friendly and you may have to get used to the situation. Some leave home.

Going to the vet is almost always traumatizing whatever you do. Only one in our extensive collection ever got used to the idea and it took her over ten years to do so. Though she never enjoyed the process she did at least tolerate it without active protest.

Ha! Look what problems the guys in capitalist countries have... :razz:

Me and the cats, more like Pavel Stratan (he is a Moldavian genius), I let you the pleasure to translate it... (which is difficult even for a Romanian, due to Moldavian dialect, it sounds to us like 200 years old Romanian language, but his lyrics, in general, are the work of a genius, and his music the same - I may come back later with some translation, here is 2:45 AM now and I am going to bed).

[QUOTE]Mi-aduc aminte când,
Odată noaptea, ora unu,
Drept in fața mea
O mâtă o vrut sa-mi treaca drumu`.
Eu am înțăles că n-o să-mi meargă
Dac-o scăp și pleacă.
Am apăsat surșica și-am trecut...

Da' mâta n-o dov'dit să treacă.

Amu, tu spuni cum,
Și cine trebuie pe cine
Să respecte, ca,
La amândoi să-ni mearga bine?
Eu știu că cineva
Precis cu mâța o să țâie.

Dar vezi, că-n viața asta nu-i așa
Cam cum ar trebui să fie.
[/QUOTE]

Once a pet avoids you it's a bit hard to improve things. In addition to the ideas everyone mentioned I have a couple more thoughts.

Directly looking at the cat can be threatening and anxiety provoking. Try to use a gaze of the periphery when you want the an evasive cat to get closer.

Dogs seem to be better at working with our cues and I remember an example.
[URL="http://www.sunnyskyz.com/good-news/1136/She-Spent-Hours-Lying-On-The-Ground-In-The-Cold-The-Reason-Why-Is-Amazing"]She Spent Hours Lying On The Ground In The Cold. The Reason Why Is Amazing[/URL]

Another thing, pets are very smart about people's hands and can be suspicious when someone is holding something or hiding something in hands.

One boss of mine would play rough with his cat. One time the cat ran off but when it came back I was talking to my boss while leaning against a doorway and the cat approached quickly and jumped up and in midair bit my hand. I think it was connected to how the boss roughly provoked the cat a few minutes earlier with belly scratches.

Another place I worked the owner's dogs went loose in the neighborhood and one Doberman threatened a police officer by aggressively approaching and growling but stopped when the officer put his hand on his gun.

These animals understand that tools are more threatening when we are holding them. My cats always knew when I was trying to sneak up with Advantage flea treatment.

Afterthought: Pets often cooperate and learn from other pets. Maybe having another cat that didn't mind being near you would help as long as the two pets can get along.

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;441066]A $5 laser pointer might help. Cats love those.[/QUOTE]

I have a big orange tomcat that thinks he has to double as a mouse pad, literally. The laser is the quick and easy way to get him to jump down and run.

The cat came back after a week or so, and is now really quite friendly; now that it's colder outside, he spends a lot of time in his favorite seat (which is also my favorite seat), sitting on the enormous warm blanket which was really intended to be my enormous warm blanket when I bought it but is now clearly his.

[QUOTE=storm5510;446295]I have a big orange tomcat that thinks he has to double as a mouse pad, literally. The laser is the quick and easy way to get him to jump down and run.[/QUOTE]
Have you tried cucumbers?
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[QUOTE=LaurV;446399]Have you tried cucumbers?
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:missingteeth: No, I've not tried that. I saw a video on YouTube a while back. I suppose if somebody put something big and green behind me while I was eating, I'd jump too when I saw it.

.

[QUOTE=fivemack;441016]A year ago, my girlfriend gave me one of the accidental kittens from her accidental cat; at this point the kitten was three months old. I loved him and hugged him and had him vaccinated and called him Babbage and had his testicles professionally removed[/QUOTE]

See, there's your problem - you [url=https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080418185445AANgNEr]forgot to squeeze him and called him something other than George[/url]. (Alas, [i]Looney Tunes[/i] is silent on the whole testicle-removal thing.)

Glad to hear that the rapprochement appears to be underway - BTW, a good TV show about cats-with-psychological-issues and how to address them is Animal Planet's [i]My Cat From Hell[/i].

My feline creature (Gizmo) of 2 years old has the same behavior. The first few days after we visited the vet he wouldnt look at me and spend most of the time outside. After 4 or 5 visits Gizmo is now slowly getting used to it. He will still not look at me for a day or so, but after that everything is fine.

I switched to half year injections to combat the fleas and ticks, so I don't have to catch him every month. He has a very strong will of his own. One day he will not allow you to pet and or touch him, while the other he will not get enough of it... Cats sometimes...

[QUOTE=VictordeHolland;463977]Cats sometimes...[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I resonate. I currently am the staff to six. I like to say that Cats are to women as Dogs are to men.

Cats are some of the most subtle, unpredictable and caring creatures known to man.

Dogs, on the other hand, are generally dumber than bricks, and only want to hump and eat.

[QUOTE=chalsall;463999]Cats are some of the most subtle, unpredictable and caring creatures known to man.

Dogs, on the other hand, are generally dumber than bricks, and only want to hump and eat.[/QUOTE]On the gripping hand, dogs are smart enough to understand human words. It is a common occurrence for people to have to [i]spell out[/i] key words to avoid having a dog respond to hearing the word itself (like "treat" or "squirrel").

Dogs also crave attention. I often tell people that their dogs, like most dogs, suffer from "attention deficit disorder."

I once saw someone with both cats and dogs open a can of tuna or something at a time different from feeding time, and at a place different from where they usually filled the food dishes, and call out. The cats all went to the usual station, despite the fact that there was nobody there. The one dog that wasn't out in the yard, who was old and generally regarded as pretty dimwitted, even for a dog, went right to where his master -- and the food -- were. To me this was proof positive that dogs are smarter than cats.

[QUOTE=Dr Sardonicus;464013]To me this was proof positive that dogs are smarter than cats.[/QUOTE]

I do hope the above was taken the way it intended... Humorous with a bit of truth.

I love all animals. But I often say I like dogs the way I like children: so long as they are someone else's. They (both dogs and human children) are just so needy. Always demanding care and attention. Cats, on the other hand, might love and appreciate you, but they don't really need you.

There is a reason there is the saying "Dogs have owners; cats have staff.

[QUOTE=chalsall;464021]I do hope the above was taken the way it intended... Humorous with a bit of truth.

I love all animals. But I often say I like dogs the way I like children: so long as they are someone else's. They (both dogs and human children) are just so needy. Always demanding care and attention. Cats, on the other hand, might love and appreciate you, but they don't really need you.

There is a reason there is the saying "Dogs have owners; cats have staff.[/QUOTE]

There is another old saying, "You own a dog, but a cat owns you." As long as a cat has something to eat, drink, and a litterbox, they don't need much at all. I find this very preferable. A little attention goes a long way with a cat. Mine doesn't mind a little extra attention, but I think he prefers to be left alone most of the time. Naturally, when mealtime comes along for myself, then it is eyes wide open. I suppose he thinks he might miss out on something. :smile:

Something for which there is demonstrable scientific evidence is that people train dogs but cats train people.

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[QUOTE=xilman;464049]Something for which there is demonstrable scientific evidence is that people train dogs but cats train people.[/QUOTE]That's the standard line. However: [url=http://www.kiro7.com/news/local/amazing-acro-cats-to-claw-their-way-to-seattle-theater/372543313]Amazing Acro-Cats to claw their way to Seattle theater[/url][quote]Ringmaster Samantha Martin talked to CBS News in mid-June about driving her tour bus thousands of miles for performances. "So many people think that cats can’t be trained,” she said. “Any animal that has a food drive and has a brain can be trained.”[/quote]

I didn't mean to imply that cats [I]can't[/I] be trained by people (from personal experience I know that they can) only that cats are also known to train people.