Making toast at the fireside,
Nurse fell into the grate and died.
But what makes it ten times worse,
All the toast was burnt with Nurse.

Little Willie on the track
Heard the engine squeal.
Now the engine's coming back...
They're scraping Willie off the wheel.

Little Willie, in a pout
Gouged his sister's eyeballs out
Stepped on them to make them pop
Said Willie's mother, "Willie, stop."

EDIT: Thanks for the two verses above, Chuck. I had never heard those before.

[QUOTE=kladner;415823]So he followed the pair to Pawtucket
The man and the girl and the bucket
[/QUOTE]
Shouldn't be "the trio"?
Told ya the englismen cant count... :razz:
Really nice limericks, are they classic or just some of your composition?

[QUOTE=kladner;415882]

EDIT: Thanks for the two verses above, Chuck. I had never heard those before.[/QUOTE]

In the drinking well
Which the plumber built her,
Aunt Eliza fell.
We must buy a filter.

[QUOTE=LaurV;415883]Shouldn't be "the trio"?
Told ya the englismen cant count... :razz:
Really nice limericks, are they classic or just some of your composition?[/QUOTE]

Well, 'so he followed the [B]three[/B] to Pawtucket' :davieddy:

They are not mine. Just things I have collected. Some that I know are not at all Family Friendly. I suppose they might have euphemisms inserted, as SPOILER tags just beg to be opened. :smile:

[SPOILER]There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose d**k[SIZE=4][COLOR=Red][B]*[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE] was so long he could s**k it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear were a c*** I would f*** it.[/SPOILER]
(see, I told you about spoiler tags)
[SIZE=4][COLOR=Red][B]
* [/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=Black]dirk: a kind of knife[/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE] :smile:

From eating more than he was able
Johnny died at breakfast table
"Please," said his little sister Meg
Can I have his other egg?

There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light;
She set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

[QUOTE=kladner;415892]
(see, I told you about spoiler tags)[/QUOTE]
Bwhaa, haa, that was a good one. And this is the post whoring thread.
[QUOTE][SIZE=4][COLOR=Red][B]* [/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=Black]dirk: a kind of knife[/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE] :smile:[/QUOTE]We know what a [URL="https://yppedia.puzzlepirates.com/Dirk"]dirk [/URL]is, since we played puzzlepirates for a while. We still have a (pay once, stay for life) account there, but need some efforts to remember the password... One of our favorite [URL="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=MMORPG"]WTORTRPG[/URL]* ever.


-----
* wto stands for "wasting time online", and rt is "real time".

[QUOTE=LaurV;415896]Bwhaa, haa, that was a good one. And this is the post whoring thread.
We know what a [URL="https://yppedia.puzzlepirates.com/Dirk"]dirk [/URL]is, since we played puzzlepirates for a while. We still have a (pay once, stay for life) account there, but need some efforts to remember the password... One of our favorite [URL="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=MMORPG"]WTORTRPG[/URL]* ever.


-----
* wto stands for "wasting time online", and rt is "real time".[/QUOTE]

LOL. Glad you like.

The verses I posted earlier came from an old 1940's book [URL="http://www.amazon.com/treasury-laughter-Consisting-memorable-devastating/dp/B0007DVYTQ"]A Treasury of Laughter[/URL] which I found on my Aunt's bookshelf. As a young child there was very little for me to do there when the family was visiting (50 years ago, long before computers), and I remember discovering and reading through this book. Some of the verses I still remember.

Actually, this was very much better that visiting my Grandmother. There were only about two books in the house. One was [URL="http://smile.amazon.com/Amy-Vanderbilts-complete-book-etiquette/dp/B0007I885Y/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1447302022&sr=1-2&keywords=etiquette+vanderbilt"]Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette[/URL]. In this I read such helpful chapters as "dealing with servants".