Arthritic Insults Contest
 

Pretty self-explanatory. I shall begin.

Ahem.


May your ears turn into arseholes and shite on your shoulders.


(yes, I did recently just use it but I like it too much. Plus that was before the idea for this thread was conceived)

Ernst?

[QUOTE=TheMawn;370523]Ernst?[/QUOTE]
May your unwarranted assumptions (about the identity of your first responder) turn your best realities into fantasies and your worst fantasies vice versa.

Ahem.

[QUOTE=TheMawn;370523]May your ears turn into arseholes and shite on your shoulders.
[/QUOTE]

In my not-so-humble opinion, this one sounds better as

May your earholes turn into arseholes and shite on your shoulders.

may cmd be your brother!

(I think we should have some rules, like no profanity words, f-words, blah blah, no direct insults like calling someone stupid, moron, calling someone's mom/dad/pet/etc. names, etc.)

[QUOTE=LaurV;370529]may cmd be your brother!

(I think we should have some rules, like no profanity words, f-words, blah blah, no direct insults like calling someone stupid, moron, calling someone's mom/dad/pet/etc. names, etc.)[/QUOTE]Are you naturally that stupid, or did you have to work at it?

[QUOTE=xilman;370530]Are you naturally that stupid, or did you have to work at it?[/QUOTE]
(do we vote for the best? :razz:, it would get a big zero for the artistic part and for subtlety, not because it was addressed to me, but honestly, this would sound a billion times better like "Are you naturally that intelligent, or did you have to work at it?". Reminds me of the joke where the little 4 years old guy asked his father "Dad, where did I take my intelligence from? Is it from you or from mom?" and the dad replies "I think is from your mother, I still have mine")

[QUOTE=xilman;370530]Are you naturally that stupid, or did you have to work at it?[/QUOTE]

I happen to be quite fond of the one above as stated.

Thanks to TheMawn for the picking up some idle musings in Forum Feedback and doing something with it. I should think Davieddy would be proud to have served as one of the seeds for such an endeavor.

To carry over more of those humble beginnings, Harrumph.
May your son be guided through puberty by a camel.

(I read this one a long time ago in [U]The Lexicon of Musical Invective[/U], concerning an unfair review of a musical performance:)

I am in the smallest room of my house.
I have your review in front of me.
Soon it will be behind me.

[QUOTE=Chuck;370534](I read this one a long time ago in [U]The Lexicon of Musical Invective[/U], concerning an unfair review of a musical performance:)

I am in the smallest room of my house.
I have your review in front of me.
Soon it will be behind me.[/QUOTE]

And a fine classic it is!

May your dog bedevil you, and the devil dog you.

Geekifying your insults ...
 

May all of your trial divisors leave non-zero remainders,
And may none of your LL residues ever be matched.

May cosmic rays always strike the vital core of your kernel,
And may none of your backups successfully restore.

May all of your downloads be quarantined as malware,
And may none of your AVs protect you from actual threats.

May all of your websites be listed last on every search engine,
And may none of your youtube videos ever be viewed.

You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries.