Twinkie Hot...^H^H^H Hostess (NSFW)
 

[QUOTE=ewmayer;318650][B]How the Twinkie crumbles:[/B]

[Being made of space-age indestructible polymer-based materials, it's unlikely they crumble at all, but poetic license and all that]

ZeroHedge has some interesting notes about the just-announced (after the bakery workers union rejected a proposed "austerity contract"~-- several $billions in unfunded pension liabilities apparently proved an insurmountable hurdle) [URL="http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2012-11-16/hostess-liquidation-curious-cast-characters-twinkie-tumbles"]liquidation bankruptcy of Hostess Brands[/URL].

My personal opinion is that Hostess Brands is the kind of CrapFood-spewing company the world can [URL="http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-11-15/diabetes-rates-soar-as-18-states-see-diagnosed-cases-double.html"]eminently do without[/URL]. (The diabetes stats in that latter article are jaw-dropping).
[/QUOTE]
Never having been exposed to this toxic fluff, I only have a cultural reference from the [URL="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113677/quotes"]Living in Oblivion (1995)[/URL] ;-)
[QUOTE][B][COLOR=#0066cc]Chad ([COLOR=#000000]James LeGros[/COLOR])[/COLOR][/B]: What did you call me?
[B][COLOR=#0066cc]Nick ([COLOR=#000000]Steve Buscemi[/COLOR])[/COLOR][/B]: You heard me. I called you a "Hostess Twinkie motherf---er," motherf---er!
[/QUOTE]

Apparently "Twinkie" is also an inter-Asian-american slang insult (analogous to "Oreo" amongst African-americans) intended for someone perceived as trying too hard to assimilate into "white culture". As in, yellow on the outside, white on the inside.

(I find the above metaphors a bit bizarre in that "on the inside" is in the opposite direction of skin color being skin deep, but apparently in this family of metaphors, "inside" is also meant metaphorically).

----------------------------

Getting back to the now-endangered snack, perhaps the most bizarre form of American junk food I know is the [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie#Deep-fried_Twinkie]deep fried twinkie[/url].

As the Wikipedia page notes, Twinkie fans may soon be mass-migrating to Canada:
[quote]Twinkies are still produced in Canada by Saputo Incorporated's Vachon Inc. (at a bakery in Montreal) which owns the Canadian rights for the product from Hostess and is not affected by the actions in the United States.[9][/quote]

[QUOTE=ewmayer;319002]
Getting back to the now-endangered snack, perhaps the most bizarre form of American junk food I know is the [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie#Deep-fried_Twinkie]deep fried twinkie[/url].
[/QUOTE]

What, you've never heard of deep fried beer?

Twinky, or twink also means a young, cute guy in gay parlance.

[QUOTE=Dubslow;319011]What, you've never heard of deep fried beer?[/QUOTE]
Not without the word "with" in between the 'fried' and the 'beer'. Call me closed-minded...

[QUOTE=kladner;319022]Twinky, or twink also means a young, cute guy in gay parlance.[/QUOTE]
I really, really hope that is not an evocation of the manufacturing process for Twinkies.

[QUOTE=ewmayer;319075]
I really, really hope that is not an evocation of the manufacturing process for Twinkies.[/QUOTE]

No. :razz: The young person in question IS the confection.

[QUOTE=kladner;319078]No. :razz: The young person in question IS the confection.[/QUOTE]

This calls for a mildly ribald limerick:

A luscious young Twink made connection
With a fellow desiring confection.
The fellow brought friends
Which led in the end
To a triple cream-filling injection.

Excellent limerick! :bow: :rofl::devil:

I believe that the limerick is a greatly under-rated form. I even know one in three stanzas, but unfortunately, it is not suitable for a general-access forum. (This limerick was alluded to in one passage in Heinlein's "Glory Road".)

EDIT: However, as consolation, I offer the following two verse specimen:

[QUOTE]There was an old man from Nantucket
Who kept all his dough in a bucket
His daughter named Nan
She ran off with a man
And as for the bucket, Nan tucket

So he followed the three to Pawtucket
The man and the girl and the bucket
He said to the man
You are welcome to Nan
But as for the bucket, Paw tucket[/QUOTE]

I posted this link a month or two ago, but I think I'll repost it. Many of them are particular favorites.

[url]http://www.physics.harvard.edu/academics/undergrad/limericks.html[/url]
[quote]Always check your units!

Your units are wrong! cried the teacher.
Your church weighs six joules — what a feature!
And the people inside
Are four hours wide,
And eight gauss away from the preacher![/quote]

And I must say about the limerick above: what a fine specimen of... I don't even know. Wow. You wrote it yourself? I think it deserves to be shared :razz:

Edit: A few more favorites from the link:
[quote]Induction is a wonderful tool, but it shouldn't be abused...

"To three, five, and seven, assign
A name," the prof said, "we'll define."
But he botched the instruction
With woeful induction,
And told us the next prime was nine.
_____________________________________________

What really happened on that hill...

In Boston, lived Jack, as did Jill,
Who gained mgh on a hill.
In their liquid pursuit,
Jill exclaimed with a hoot,
" I think we've just climbed a landfill!"

While noting, "Oh, this is just grand,"
Jack tripped on some trash in the sand.
He changed his potential
To kinetic, torrential,
But not before grabbing Jill's hand.[/quote]

[QUOTE=kladner;319092]Excellent limerick! :bow: :rofl::devil:

I believe that the limerick is a greatly under-rated form. I even know one in three stanzas, but unfortunately, it is not suitable for a general-access forum. (This limerick was alluded to in one passage in Heinlein's "Glory Road".)

EDIT: However, as consolation, I offer the following two verse specimen:[/QUOTE][i]The Good Ship Venus[/i] is (almost?) entirely in limerick form and has many more than three stanzas.

Like your example it is not suitable for posting here. On the other hand:

...
And sags in the middle like a one-stringed fiddle,
Then he can tell you a tale or two.

So pull up a chair and buy me a drink,
And a tale to you I'll tell.
Of Dead-Eye Dick and Mexico Pete
And a whore named Eskimo Nell.
...


I've got that one on a deck of 80-column punched cards somewhere in the attic. Sadly, most of [i]The Ballad of Eskimo Nell[/i] is also unsuited to this audience.

[QUOTE=kladner;319092]...[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=xilman;319106]...[/QUOTE]

Perhaps we should have an NSFW forum :razz: