Corrupt amuse-bouche!
 

Many of you probably know this forum game :smile:
etc
Person1: I wish I could fly!
Person2: Wish granted, however, you are afraid of heights so it is useless!
I wish I had a chocolate bar...
Person3: Wish granted. You receive a bar of pure cacao.

etc etc :max:

...

I wish for a trillion dollars :razz:

[QUOTE=kracker;318207]Many of you probably know this forum game :smile:
etc
Person1: I wish I could fly!
Person2: Wish granted, however, you are afraid of heights so it is useless!
I wish I had a chocolate bar...
Person3: Wish granted. You receive a bar of pure cacao.

etc etc :max:

...

I wish for a trillion dollars :razz:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. You'll get though pre-revolution rubels.

I wish I had a blade-server.

[QUOTE=aketilander;318210]I wish I had a blade-server.[/QUOTE]Wish granted, it serves razor blades.:edit:

I wish that I had a Saturn V rocket.:anurag:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318217]Wish granted, it serves razor blades.:edit:

I wish that I had a Saturn V rocket.:anurag:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted! however, you didn't precisely control where it went... And the rest is history:devil:

I wish I had dozens of high end gpu's...:boxer:

The gpu's arrive as planned. Unfortunately, the liquid cooling system isn't completely sealed, and the GPUs have to be repurposed as saw blades.

I wish I had an Erdos number...

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;318221]I wish I had an Erdos number...[/QUOTE]Your number is 17, you were a 'collaborator' that was more of a test subject in a test of inter-species communication, you were the chimp.
:confus:

I wish that I discover the next Mersenne Prime.:fusion:

Granted. However, Somebody else did report it before you.

I Wish pokemon were real.

[url]http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/132[/url]

[QUOTE=firejuggler;318224]Granted. However, Somebody else did report it before you.

I Wish pokemon were real.

[URL]http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/archives/132[/URL][/QUOTE]

Wish granted, however pokemon decided to eat you.

I wish for some candy! :smile:

[QUOTE=kracker;318234]I wish for some candy! :smile:[/QUOTE]Wish granted, you get a [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PayDay_(confection)"]Payday[/URL], turns out you are deathly allergic to peanuts.:ick:

I wish I was the ruler of a modern (last 75 years), first world country, that can't be voted out of office.:judge:



[SIZE="1"][SUP][SUP][SUP][COLOR="White"]
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1wCoPW-s5g[/url][/COLOR][/SUP][/SUP][/SUP][/SIZE]

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318240]Wish granted, you get a [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PayDay_(confection)"]Payday[/URL], turns out you are deathly allergic to peanuts.:ick:

I wish I was the ruler of a modern (last 75 years), first world country, that can't be voted out of office.:judge:



[SIZE=1][SUP][SUP][SUP][COLOR=White]
[URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1wCoPW-s5g[/URL][/COLOR][/SUP][/SUP][/SUP][/SIZE][/QUOTE]

Wish granted. However unfortunately, someone decided to assassinate you, and another ruler had to be put up :big grin:

I wish I my computer could do what I wanted it to do instantly, by my requests without the need of coding :smile:

Wish granted, but the inability to be voted out of office doesn't make you immune to assassinations.

I wish I had a quantum computer.

[QUOTE=ixfd64;318242]
I wish I had a quantum computer.[/QUOTE]

wish granted, but it is an AMD, so still slower than an ivy bridge.

I wish that purple rhymed with orange.

[QUOTE=ixfd64;318242]Wish granted, but the inability to be voted out of office doesn't make you immune to assassinations.

I wish I had a quantum computer.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, but it comes with Windows [i]Quantum[/i](TM) and both Norton and McAfee antivirus pre-installed.

[QUOTE=chappy;318243]wish granted, but it is an AMD, so still slower than an ivy bridge.

I wish that purple rhymed with orange.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, but a Porange Norange hurts three times worse than a Purple Nurple, and the neighborhood bully is waiting behind the next tree...

I wish for [U][I]lots[/I][/U] of [URL="http://www.anandtech.com/show/6446/nvidia-launches-tesla-k20-k20x-gk110-arrives-at-last"]this[/URL].

Did I say [B][U][I]LOTS[/I][/U][/B]?

Wish granted. Immediately on shipment, Curtis Cooper reveals the complete list of Mersenne Primes, and Folding@Home is ended due to sex abuse allegations.
.
I wish for a lifetime supply of Diet Dr. Pepper!

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;318249]Wish granted. Immediately on shipment, Curtis Cooper reveals the complete list of Mersenne Primes, and Folding@Home is ended due to sex abuse allegations.
.
I wish for a lifetime supply of Diet Dr. Pepper![/QUOTE]

This one's too easy. Soda expires in six months. The lifetime supply is delivered all at once.

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;318249]I wish for a lifetime supply of Diet Dr. Pepper![/QUOTE]
The warden grants you're wish. You are given a 2L bottle, the firing squad is waiting outside.:bangheadonwall:


I wish I could never die.:innocent:

I wish I had an Intel motherboard with a socket guaranteed to accept all chips through at least Skymont.

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318251]The warden grants you're wish. You are given a 2L bottle, the firing squad is waiting outside.:bangheadonwall:


I wish I could never die.:innocent:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted! The devil teleported you to hell to suffer for all eternity without dying! :devil::devil::devil: Haha. Just kidding.

I wish I had a green watermelon.

EDIT: @Mr. Cat: Wish granted! however, to do that your cpu takes atleast 50% of performance to work properly :grin:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318251]The warden grants you're wish. You are given a 2L bottle, the firing squad is waiting outside.:bangheadonwall:


I wish I could never die.:innocent:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. Now since you're immortal, you have a choice of two jobs: ordnance target at the US Army Proving Ground, or frostbite consultant at the Antarctic Research Station.

[QUOTE=NBtarheel_33;318257]Wish granted. ....[/QUOTE]You must needs reply with your own wish. Dem is the rules.

I wish the gerbils will not find us.

Wish granted but instead the Gebrils get access to your computers and constantly changes the reanges you serach/the Mersennes you test to already tested ranges / Mersennes.

I wish I went to bed early enough to have enough sleep! :smile:

[QUOTE=aketilander;318284]I wish I went to bed early enough to have enough sleep! :smile:[/QUOTE]Wish granted, you hop into bed early, you wake up quite rested, [U]14 hours later[/U]. You get into work late [I]again[/I]. You get fired.:sleep:

I wish that I was married to a beautiful Hollywood starlet (female, age appropriate, and not an addict, eg JLH).:george:

Wish granted. You get married to the most beautiful hollywood starlet thinkable which is not an addict! It turns out though that she is a religious fanatic beloning to a sect and she uses most of her time to try to convince you. It also turns out that her religion forbidds her to have sex except with the intention to make children, and she only wants two, the ones she brought with her into marriage.

I wish I had my job back (which I lost due to oversleeping above).

[QUOTE=aketilander;318296]Wish granted. You get married to the most beautiful hollywood starlet thinkable which is not an addict! It turns out though that she is a religious fanatic beloning to a sect and she uses most of her time to try to convince you. It also turns out that her religion forbidds her to have sex except with the intention to make children, and she only wants two, the ones she brought with her into marriage.

I wish I had my job back (which I lost due to oversleeping above).[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, you get a job of sleeping and doing whatever you want, which you get no money for, and which isn't technically a job...... It's called life.:edit:

I wish I wasn't such a sleepyhead in the mornings.

[QUOTE=aketilander;318296]I wish I had my job back (which I lost due to oversleeping above).[/QUOTE]

You're hired! But by Donald Trump instead! Good luck!

I wish my flooded out dinosaur PC was replaced by
a 100 THz 50 GB Ram 10 TB drive with Windows 9.
(Ugh my needs are small.)

[QUOTE=davar55;318342]I wish my flooded out dinosaur PC was replaced by
a 100 THz 50 GB Ram 10 TB drive with Windows 9.
(Ugh my needs are small.)[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. Unfortunately, it's running Windows 9 and got hacked as soon as you put it on the Internet. You're now facing 1 million lawsuits for file sharing and spamming.

I wish for world peace.

[QUOTE=davar55;318342]You're hired! But by Donald Trump instead! Good luck!

I wish my flooded out dinosaur PC was replaced by
a 100 THz 50 GB Ram 10 TB drive with Windows 9.
(Ugh my needs are small.)[/QUOTE]

Wish granted! You *do* get 100THz, DDR(1) 50 GB, and 10TB drives that read and write about 5 bytes a second max:smile: And Windows 9 is worse than 8.

I wish for a farm of i7-SB-Hexcore-Extremes. :spot:

EDIT: Aah damnit, why do people post while I am typing:offensive:

World peace is granted. too bad you are the only human alive left.

I want a Giant walking robot.

[QUOTE=firejuggler;318348]World peace is granted. too bad you are the only human alive left.

I want a Giant walking robot.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. It gets resentful of being ordered around and steps on you.

[QUOTE]Y N MAKE wish?[/QUOTE]

EDIT: Oops! I wish I had health insurance.

[QUOTE=kladner;318349]Wish granted. It gets resentful of being ordered around and steps on you.[/QUOTE]

Y N MAKE wish? :bump2:

[QUOTE=kladner;318349]Wish granted. It gets resentful of being ordered around and steps on you.



EDIT: Oops! I wish I had health insurance.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, however, it was actually life insurance in the fine print, which you get when you die :toot:

I wish my wireless phone had a longer battery life (not cellphone, this is at home)

[QUOTE=kracker;318353]I wish my wireless phone had a longer battery life (not cellphone, this is at home)[/QUOTE]

Granted. But unfortunately no one calls.

I wish to meet God.

[QUOTE=chalsall;318355]Granted. But unfortunately no one calls.

I wish to meet God.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, he was a bit angry at the time. Tooo bad.:devil:

I wish I had a doughnut just NOW. Maybe I will.

[QUOTE=kracker;318356]I wish I had a doughnut just NOW. Maybe I will.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted.

Too bad you were one doughnut away from a coronary. :wink:

I wish I was a fly on the wall when Romney learnt he lost.

Wish granted. Too bad he had an electric flyswatter!

I wish I could have been present at Platons Academy in Athen.

[QUOTE=aketilander;318363]I wish I could have been present at Platons Academy in Athen.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. Damn those Romans! They killed many things, including Jesus Christ!

I wish school children were not afraid of mathematics.

[QUOTE=chalsall;318367]Wish granted. Damn those Romans! They killed many things, including Jesus Christ!

I wish school children were not afraid of mathematics.[/QUOTE]

wish granted, however the teachers are afraid to teach it and all access to information has been illegally taken away by government.

I wish I won 10 trillion CAD

Wish granted. Due to a small typo, the government awards you 10 trillion Cod, and the smell of rotting fish drives you to suicide.

I wish to discover a billion digit prime!

Wish granted. But it isn't recognized by the mathematical community because nobody else has the hardware to verify it.

I wish faster-than-light travel was possible [I]and[/I] reliable. We're talking at least 100c, and that it won't send the traveler into [url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HyperspaceIsAScaryPlace]some scary dimension[/url] or [url=http://www.gutenberg.org/files/32347/32347-h/32347-h.htm]blow up the Sun[/url].

[QUOTE=ixfd64;318378]I wish faster-than-light travel was possible [I]and[/I] reliable. We're talking at least 100c, and that it won't send the traveler into [url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HyperspaceIsAScaryPlace]some scary dimension[/url] or [url=http://www.gutenberg.org/files/32347/32347-h/32347-h.htm]blow up the Sun[/url].[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. Unfortunately you return and discover that no one remembers you, and they're all using transporters.

I wish for artificial gravity which doesn't involve the Coriolis effect.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, due to a mix-up between imperial and metric values you die after crashing into a gravitational-wave generator.

I wish that any person, other than me, that posts in this thread after me agrees to let themself be called "Shirley" by anyone on this forum from this point in time onwards.

[QUOTE=Flatlander;318394]Wish granted. Unfortunately, due to a mix-up between imperial and metric values you die after crashing into a gravitational-wave generator.

I wish that any person, other than me, that posts in this thread after me agrees to let themself be called "Shirley" by anyone on this forum from this point in time onwards.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted! (quote)Unfortunately, due to a mix-up between(/quote) things, only you got to be called Shirley after this :smile:

I wish I had a portable nuke.

[QUOTE=kracker;318399]I wish I had a portable nuke.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted! Unfortunately you trip and fall with it during a family reunion. :explode: You, your entire extended family, and your hometown are extra-crispy.

I wish someone went back in time and offed "Uncle Adolf".

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318400]
I wish someone went back in time and offed "Uncle Adolf".[/QUOTE]

granted, but then Uncle Adolf Hurwitz was not around to teach Albert Einstein.

I wish that The Walking Dead wasn't nearly unwatchable drivel.

[QUOTE=chappy;318401]granted, but then Uncle Adolf Hurwitz was not around to teach Albert Einstein.

I wish that The Walking Dead wasn't nearly unwatchable drivel.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, the zombies turned real from your screen and you turned into a
classic "The Walking Dead"

I wish for the ability to teleport.

P.S.: the game ain't bad though.

[QUOTE=kracker;318403]I wish for the ability to teleport.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted! You learn to teleport, but your destination is controlled by gravity, you are teleported into the core of the sun. :furious:

I wish I could control other people's thoughts with my own.
:alien 3:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318408]
I wish I could control other people's thoughts with my own.[/QUOTE]
wish granted, unfortunately between out thoughts and our actions are big differences (still remember that movie with the guy having a hat, when he puts the hat on he can read the mind of the person in front of him; he did that in the public bus, in front of a gorgeous girl and find out she was thinking about him, "what a nice guy, I wish he would be my boyfriend", he put his arm around her then he had to wear a nose bandage for the next week...)

I wish I should never write in this thread...

[QUOTE=LaurV;318412]I wish I should never write in this thread...[/QUOTE]Granted: A new appreciation of numerical aesthetics sweeps the land. For now on, to keep Erdős numbers beautifully unchanged, those possessing them should not mutually participate in forum threads because that could lead to further collaboration, potentially changing the Erdős number and marring its eternal pristine state.

I wish I were taller.

Wish granted, courtesy of [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rack_%28torture%29]this device[/url].

I wish to find a [I]prime[/I] factor of MM127.

[QUOTE=ixfd64;318457]I wish to find a [I]prime[/I] factor of MM127.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted! It flash on the screen a brief second before a lighting bolt strikes and irreversibly destroys your computer. The resultant explosion knocks you out and gives you a touch of retrograde amnesia.

I wish that stores would not start "selling up" Christmas until Dec 20.

Granted. Now they will start on Dec. 20 of the previous year.

I wish that my GTW 570 will be replaced on RMA with a much better specimen.

[QUOTE=kladner;318503]Granted. Now they will start on Dec. 20 of the previous year.

I wish that my GTW 570 will be replaced on RMA with a much better specimen.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted. You get a gtx 590 which your psu cannot handle it and it explodes

i wish tablets were easier to write with....gah

p.s.: strange...I am sure I did NOT write da "woosh" in title but i guess it was a typo when i made it...

[QUOTE=kracker;318568]
i wish tablets were easier to write with....gah[/QUOTE]

Granted, but now being made of clay and graphite they are not longer useful as information displays.


[QUOTE=kracker;318568] p.s.: strange...I am sure I did NOT write da "woosh" in title but i guess it was a typo when i made it...[/QUOTE]

I woosh that I knew what woosh was uncorruptible.

[QUOTE=chappy;318573]I woosh that I knew what woosh was uncorruptible.[/QUOTE]Granted: You waive a hand over your head while saying "woosh" and have the sudden insight that wishes can be replaced by barbers and corruptibility by haircuts. This gripping clarity allows you to create an calculus involving wishes and the granting of them that is capable of subsuming all of mathematics. You write vast tracts of symbolic logic that no one ever reads. You spend your time in and out of asylums as you wrestle with the advanced infinities. As you settle into senescence and settle into a comfortable existence weaving baskets, you think "I must share this core knowledge lest it pass beyond recovery," but it passes at that very moment; you realize that the incorruptible wish is a solvent that no vessel can safely contain.

I wish I were smarter.

[QUOTE=kracker;318241]Wish granted. However unfortunately, someone decided to assassinate you, and another ruler had to be put up :big grin:[/QUOTE]

Haha, we both said the same thing. Great minds think alike!

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;318249]Wish granted. Immediately on shipment, Curtis Cooper reveals the complete list of Mersenne Primes, and Folding@Home is ended due to sex abuse allegations.[/QUOTE]

But at least there's still SETI@home. :smile:

[QUOTE=NBtarheel_33;318250]This one's too easy. Soda expires in six months. The lifetime supply is delivered all at once.[/QUOTE]

A [url=http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Stasis_box]stasis box[/url] would be pretty useful in this case...

[QUOTE=chalsall;318355]Granted. But unfortunately no one calls.[/QUOTE]

That actually isn't so bad if you're just planning to surf the Internet with it.

[QUOTE=only_human;318586]I wish I were smarter.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, but it's actually the side effect of a disease that makes you age extremely rapidly.

I wish Eclipse wasn't so buggy.

[QUOTE=ixfd64;318614]I wish Eclipse wasn't so buggy.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! The new release of Eclipse is horrible, at least twice as many bugs. Everyone agrees that there was a time when Eclipse wasn't so buggy.

I wish for more wishes.

[QUOTE=only_human;318707]Wish granted! The new release of Eclipse is horrible, at least twice as many bugs. Everyone agrees that there was a time when Eclipse wasn't so buggy.

I wish for more wishes.[/QUOTE]

wish granted ( from my apparent grave) , based on my predicament I put a curse on you that what you wish for will be the opposite of what you get from now on, ie. if you wish someone to live a long life they will die, if you wish for great fortune you will be poor.

Ha! but then you realize that even though the smell of rotten cod drives you toward suicide, the putrescence destroyed your sense of smell before you might act on the impulse, and that your apparent grave was merely you lying in a funk and cursing the kids who won't stay off your lawn. You then realize that you are supposed to make a wish.

[QUOTE=only_human;318715]Ha! but then you realize that even though the smell of rotten cod drives you to suicide, the putrescence destroyed your sense of smell before you made that final irrevocable commitment and that your apparent grave was merely you lying in a funk and cursing the kids who won't stay off your lawn. You then realize that you are supposed to make a wish.[/QUOTE]

I wish for the properties of Mersenne prime exponents to be known.

[QUOTE]I wish for the properties of Mersenne prime exponents to be known.[/QUOTE]That wish has already been granted centuries ago, but the dolphins of the world have no immediate need to communicate this knowledge with humans.

We wish we were just one person.

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;318765]We wish we were just one person.[/QUOTE]Presto! You draw up papers forming a corporation. The household fills the roster. "Corporations are people, my friend" rings in your ears, but the expected closeness of being a single entity falls flat and seems insufficiently fulfilling -- like light beer.

I wish it was February 2nd, Groundhog Day again.

[QUOTE=only_human;318774]I wish it was February 2nd, Groundhog Day again.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! But, instead of being Phil, you are Ned Ryerson and endlessly suffer many indignities. :rakes::sirrobin::bump2:

I wish for a car, as detailed below:truck::[LIST=1][*]Street legal in my in all areas of my country (and normal license costs).[*]Fuel efficient (greater than 50 mpg equivalent).[*]Durable, must last 20 years or better, with little or no maintenance costs.[*]Practical (does not use some exotic fuel, does not require a warm-up or shut down period, does not require a special license to drive.)[*]Fast (capable of safely cruising at speeds of 250, can corner well, and has reasonably good acceleration for a car.)[*]Can carry 5 persons and a fair amount of gear comfortably.[*]Has a good sound system and navigation system.[*]Is fun to drive.[/LIST]

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318791]
I wish for a car, as detailed below:truck::[LIST=1][*]Street legal in my in all areas of my country (and normal license costs).[*]Fuel efficient (greater than 50 mpg equivalent).[*]Durable, must last 20 years or better, with little or no maintenance costs.[*]Practical (does not use some exotic fuel, does not require a warm-up or shut down period, does not require a special license to drive.)[*]Fast (capable of safely cruising at speeds of 250, can corner well, and has reasonably good acceleration for a car.)[*]Can carry 5 persons and a fair amount of gear comfortably.[*]Has a good sound system and navigation system.[*]Is fun to drive.[/LIST][/QUOTE]

Wish granted. Unfortunately, you had to sell your house to purchase it, and the navigation system used Apple Maps. The resulting chaos leads to you driving it through the local pub, where a spark ignites all the spirits, torching your car and yourself, leaving you with paper thin skin and no money to afford food, much less healthcare.

I wish I owned a nuclear reactor.

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;318793]Wish granted. Unfortunately, you had to sell your house to purchase it, and the navigation system used Apple Maps. The resulting chaos leads to you driving it through the local pub, where a spark ignites all the spirits, torching your car and yourself, leaving you with paper thin skin and no money to afford food, much less healthcare.

I wish I owned a nuclear reactor.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, it overheats, explodes, and slowly over the years kills you.

I wish I had a better case for this computer.

Wish granted. The case is so good that it's the first thing noticed by the burglar breaking into your house.

I wish every day was 36 hours long.

[QUOTE=ixfd64;318855]Wish granted. The case is so good that it's the first thing noticed by the burglar breaking into your house.

I wish every day was 36 hours long.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. You are now expected to work 33 hours per day, 200 days a year (out of 244). The extra work doesn't aide you financially, though: you are a salaried worker.

I wish for a cure for radiation poisoning (which I rec'd due to that POS reactor :ouch2:

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;318858]Wish granted. You are now expected to work 33 hours per day, 200 days a year (out of 244). The extra work doesn't aide you financially, though: you are a salaried worker.

I wish for a cure for radiation poisoning (which I rec'd due to that POS reactor :ouch2:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, the cure is something that would kill you anyways, even it DOES cure radiation poisoning.

I wish for a burglar-proof computer caase.:devil:

[QUOTE=kracker;318859]I wish for a burglar-proof computer caase.:devil:[/QUOTE]Wish granted! You go to the garage and retrieve the old inferior case that you set aside after receiving that spiffy new case from a previous wish. You know for sure that this old case is burglar-proof because the burglar walked past without noticing it when he robbed you.

I wish that the burglar have a change of heart, dedicate himself to good works and travel the world successfully promoting peace.

[QUOTE=only_human;318860]

I wish that the burglar have a change of heart, dedicate himself to good works and travel the world successfully promoting peace.[/QUOTE]

Granted! and he is successful at promoting world peace in his journeys, until the new heart gives out while in the backwaters of Detroit and he dies on the spot causing a world-wide period of grief and a generation to grow with an even more cynical attitude about the world.

I woosh that everyone could, in addition to their own language/s, speak a common human language that encompassed the whole nuance of understanding that is each other's experience and that the dead burglar's work could then continue.

[QUOTE=chappy;318861]Granted! and he is successful at promoting world peace in his journeys, until the new heart gives out while in the backwaters of Detroit and he dies on the spot causing a world-wide period of grief and a generation to grow with an even more cynical attitude about the world.

I woosh that everyone could, in addition to their own language/s, speak a common human language that encompassed the whole nuance of understanding that is each other's experience and that the dead burglar's work could then continue.[/QUOTE]

[URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie"]Woosh granted.[/URL] Have fun.

I woosh I could infinitely overclock my computer.

[QUOTE=kracker;318875]I woosh I could infinitely overclock my computer.[/QUOTE]

Granted. Pity the mobo can't keep up.

I wish for a program which would output the fastest x86 assembler code equivalent to a given program.

[QUOTE=CRGreathouse;318888]Granted. Pity the mobo can't keep up.

I wish for a program which would output the fastest x86 assembler code equivalent to a given program.[/QUOTE]

Granted. Unfortunately the runtime of that program is measured in decades.

I wish my kids would clean up when i ask them to the first time.

Granted. But they never clean up what you told them to...

I wish for a phone that always gets reception and doesn't get scratched up.

[QUOTE=CRGreathouse;318891]I wish for a phone that always gets reception and doesn't get scratched up.[/QUOTE]
Granted! But you dropped your ceramic land-line and it shattered.:max:

I wish that I was the perfect specimen of my species and gender.:flex:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;318893]Granted! But you dropped your ceramic land-line and it shattered.:max:

I wish that I was the perfect specimen of my species and gender.:flex:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, you were so perfect, some scientists nabbed you and they started some "tests".

I woosh I could discover a trillion digit prime.

[URL="http://mersenneforum.org/showthread.php?t=40"]@Xyzzy: lookz lik it wasnt we befor ![/URL]

[QUOTE=kracker;318894]Wish granted, you were so perfect, some scientists nabbed you and they started some "tests".

I woosh I could discover a trillion digit prime.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted, but Curtis Cooper has just released a quadrillion digit prime.


I wish prime95 ran on all my company's computers, where I'd get all the credit.:smile:

[QUOTE]I wish prime95 ran on all my company's computers, where I'd get all the credit.:smile:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, you can pick up your resignation letter at human resources (in typed form, because you burned out all their cpu's

I wish that all the sieving tools are available for Mac Os X

[QUOTE=CedricVonck;318919]Wish granted, you can pick up your resignation letter at human resources (in typed form, because you burned out all their cpu's

I wish that all the sieving tools are available for Mac Os X[/QUOTE]
Wish granted. The day after this happens, instructions on how to verify prime numbers with pencil and paper is posted and all numbers due to be released by Mersenne server can be processed in less than hours time each.

Edit: Damn, just realized sieving tools would still be useful after this. Hmmm, Gonna have to think about this one. I'm assuming Mac hate is probably not a good response, so my first reaction won't work either, even though I think it's funny.

Edit2: I can live with a little hate. Wish granted, now you feel compelled to go out and buy the most irrationally expensive sieving farm ever.

I wish all the bottlenecks that exist in a computer that prevent the L1 cache from operating at peak efficiency were fixed.

[QUOTE=jasong;318998]I wish all the bottlenecks that exist in a computer that prevent the L1 cache from operating at peak efficiency were fixed.[/QUOTE]

Granted! Your main memory shrinks to the size of your L1 cache.

I wish I understood all of Hardy & Wright.

[QUOTE=CRGreathouse;319003]I wish I understood all of Hardy & Wright.[/QUOTE]Wish granted. After receiving, "A Dummy's Guide to [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurel_and_Hardy"]Laurel & Hardy[/URL]" and "An Idiot's Guide to [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Wright"]Steven Wright[/URL]", you now have a thorough comprehension of their respective materials. This does not engender any good will from the females of the species or social-able males. You become a recluse that laughs inanely at inappropriate times.:cmd:

I wish I had a Netflix account that allowed me to have 20 discs out at a time and unlimited streaming, all for free.:alien2:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;319037]I wish I had a Netflix account that allowed me to have 20 discs out at a time and unlimited streaming, all for free.:alien2:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted, you receive the discs, which are all have an expiration time of 1 day, and they arrive 3 days after they were send

I wish that mankind could travel at ligthspeed

Ps. I am living in Europe, so sorry about my poor knowledge about Netflix

Wish granted. You take the opportunity to explore the extrasolar planet 55 Cancri e. Due to the effects of time dilation, you get there in no time - relative to you. Unfortunately, when you get back, all of your friends and family have passed away of old age.

I wish I had one of [url=http://www.amax.com/hpc/productdetail.asp?product_id=Xr-4801Gk2]this[/url].

[QUOTE=ixfd64;319074]I wish I had one of [url=http://www.amax.com/hpc/productdetail.asp?product_id=Xr-4801Gk2]this[/url] [noparse][4U 8x Tesla K20/K20X GPU Supercomputing Server][/noparse].[/QUOTE]Wish granted!. You fire up your new system. Lights dim in the neighborhood; after watching for two hours the screen says initial configuration 20% complete. You have to leave for work. After a grueling 33 hour work session, you return home. The locks have been changed and a security camera over the door pans and zooms to follow you as you rattle the knob and try to peek in through the windows.

I wish to hand a daisy to the harmless and awesome aliens that visit.

[url]http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2594[/url]
unfortunatly, these aliens live by photosynthesis and are gravelly offended by your gift, and don't want to see you ever again.

I wish I had the writting talents of terry pratchett.

[QUOTE=firejuggler;319469][URL]http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2594[/URL]
unfortunatly, these aliens live by photosynthesis and are gravelly offended by your gift, and don't want to see you ever again.

I wish I had the writting talents of terry pratchett.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. You got so excited when you learned about your special ability that you did nothing but that, writing, writing, to death.

I wish I wasn't really horrible at art.

[QUOTE=kracker;319632]Wish granted. You got so excited when you learned about your special ability that you did nothing but that, writing, writing, to death.

I wish I wasn't really horrible at art.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! Your artistic work is inspiring to many, helping them live richer, fuller lives. The proceeds of your oeuvre surround you with the trappings of wealth. An aneurysm has added you to the small segment of people that have experienced brain damage yet developed savant-like extraordinary talents. You receive warm and caring service to spoon feed you jello at meals.

I wish I had a decent college education.
(cue horror story music as audience expects something to happen)

[QUOTE=only_human;319643]I wish I had a decent college education.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! You receive a full scholarship to [URL="http://www.gupton-jones.edu/Pages/aframe.htm"]Gupton-Jones[/URL]. You now can look forward to a long career applying this new found knowledge. You get to meet many unusual characters during an important time during their histories. However you daily must work with dead bodies. We do have an [URL="http://www.ohiocollegeclowningarts.com/"]alternate college[/URL] in mind too.

I wish that Xyzzy sold me all of his available boxen for $25 each.

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;319644]
I wish that Xyzzy sold me all of his available boxen for $25 each.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted, you pay him $25 and next morning a lot of carton boxen, wooden boxes, etc, start arriving at your gate, some of them were used for packing frozen fish and carrying a terrible smell... (I imagine that guy who started spam emails and he is getting monthly a lot of newspapers and advertizing (physical paper, brochures, etc) in his yard, I forgot his name).

I wish I knew.

[QUOTE=LaurV;319715]I wish I knew [noparse][who invented electronic spam][/noparse].[/QUOTE]Granted. Through a modern marvel of connected tubes a Wikipedia article paragraph: [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spam_(electronic)#History_of_Internet_spam"][I]History of Internet spam[/I][/URL] becomes known to you. Unfortunately, every time you refresh your computer screen, Wikipedia vandals change the content, saying that Sarah Palin invented spam and other pranks like Monty Python chants and Howard Stern call-outs. So you know who invented spam... maybe; it surely must be one of the names mentioned between edit war reversions.

I wish to read the Jim Butcher's new Dresden Files ebook, [I]Cold Days[/I], that will be available to me at midnight, local time, now without waiting for midnight.

[QUOTE=only_human;319717]I wish to read the Jim Butcher's new Dresden Files ebook, [I]Cold Days[/I], that will be available to me at midnight, local time, now without waiting for midnight.[/QUOTE]Wish almost granted. You wake up at 2:00 AM, buy the book and read it straight through. It was (IMHO) his best novel yet.

I wish for someone else to make a wish.

[QUOTE=only_human;319774]I wish for someone else to make a wish.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! CMD wishes you away [URL="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wish%20___%20into%20the%20cornfield"]into the cornfield[/URL].:cmd:

I wish that every member of this forum sent me the maximum legal amount they could [URL="http://www.axa-equitable.com/plan/estate/gift-tax.html"]without tax implications[/URL] ($13,000 per annum in the USA), without obligations, to use as I wish.:fusion:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;319781]
I wish that every member of this forum sent me the maximum legal amount they could [URL="http://www.axa-equitable.com/plan/estate/gift-tax.html"]without tax implications[/URL] ($13,000 per annum in the USA), without obligations, to use as I wish.:fusion:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. All proceeds converted into Dune zingots, worthless
here on Earth.

I wish I had been iin A.Wiles audience those three days he proved
Fermat's Last Theorem true.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, your ostosclerosis made it hard to observe anything from behind the journalists.

I wish I had a job in which I could be a total a** as long as I get my work done right.

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;319899]I wish I had a job in which I could be a total a** as long as I get my work done right.[/QUOTE]Wish granted!
[attach]8919[/attach]
You are now the third from the left in this picture. You are a [URL="aka. jackass"]donkey[/URL] pulling a plow. You get to stare all day at the rear of the donkey in front of you.

I wish for Warren Buffet to give me (before the end of 2013), $30,000,000, wired into my personal bank account (in US dollars), with no restrictions on its use; and give me control over a trust of $30,000,000; and control over a charitable foundation of $40,000,000, all of which I can do with as I see fit.