[QUOTE=kracker;319632]Wish granted. You got so excited when you learned about your special ability that you did nothing but that, writing, writing, to death.

I wish I wasn't really horrible at art.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! Your artistic work is inspiring to many, helping them live richer, fuller lives. The proceeds of your oeuvre surround you with the trappings of wealth. An aneurysm has added you to the small segment of people that have experienced brain damage yet developed savant-like extraordinary talents. You receive warm and caring service to spoon feed you jello at meals.

I wish I had a decent college education.
(cue horror story music as audience expects something to happen)

[QUOTE=only_human;319643]I wish I had a decent college education.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! You receive a full scholarship to [URL="http://www.gupton-jones.edu/Pages/aframe.htm"]Gupton-Jones[/URL]. You now can look forward to a long career applying this new found knowledge. You get to meet many unusual characters during an important time during their histories. However you daily must work with dead bodies. We do have an [URL="http://www.ohiocollegeclowningarts.com/"]alternate college[/URL] in mind too.

I wish that Xyzzy sold me all of his available boxen for $25 each.

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;319644]
I wish that Xyzzy sold me all of his available boxen for $25 each.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted, you pay him $25 and next morning a lot of carton boxen, wooden boxes, etc, start arriving at your gate, some of them were used for packing frozen fish and carrying a terrible smell... (I imagine that guy who started spam emails and he is getting monthly a lot of newspapers and advertizing (physical paper, brochures, etc) in his yard, I forgot his name).

I wish I knew.

[QUOTE=LaurV;319715]I wish I knew [noparse][who invented electronic spam][/noparse].[/QUOTE]Granted. Through a modern marvel of connected tubes a Wikipedia article paragraph: [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spam_(electronic)#History_of_Internet_spam"][I]History of Internet spam[/I][/URL] becomes known to you. Unfortunately, every time you refresh your computer screen, Wikipedia vandals change the content, saying that Sarah Palin invented spam and other pranks like Monty Python chants and Howard Stern call-outs. So you know who invented spam... maybe; it surely must be one of the names mentioned between edit war reversions.

I wish to read the Jim Butcher's new Dresden Files ebook, [I]Cold Days[/I], that will be available to me at midnight, local time, now without waiting for midnight.

[QUOTE=only_human;319717]I wish to read the Jim Butcher's new Dresden Files ebook, [I]Cold Days[/I], that will be available to me at midnight, local time, now without waiting for midnight.[/QUOTE]Wish almost granted. You wake up at 2:00 AM, buy the book and read it straight through. It was (IMHO) his best novel yet.

I wish for someone else to make a wish.

[QUOTE=only_human;319774]I wish for someone else to make a wish.[/QUOTE]Wish granted! CMD wishes you away [URL="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wish%20___%20into%20the%20cornfield"]into the cornfield[/URL].:cmd:

I wish that every member of this forum sent me the maximum legal amount they could [URL="http://www.axa-equitable.com/plan/estate/gift-tax.html"]without tax implications[/URL] ($13,000 per annum in the USA), without obligations, to use as I wish.:fusion:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;319781]
I wish that every member of this forum sent me the maximum legal amount they could [URL="http://www.axa-equitable.com/plan/estate/gift-tax.html"]without tax implications[/URL] ($13,000 per annum in the USA), without obligations, to use as I wish.:fusion:[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. All proceeds converted into Dune zingots, worthless
here on Earth.

I wish I had been iin A.Wiles audience those three days he proved
Fermat's Last Theorem true.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, your ostosclerosis made it hard to observe anything from behind the journalists.

I wish I had a job in which I could be a total a** as long as I get my work done right.

[QUOTE=c10ck3r;319899]I wish I had a job in which I could be a total a** as long as I get my work done right.[/QUOTE]Wish granted!
[attach]8919[/attach]
You are now the third from the left in this picture. You are a [URL="aka. jackass"]donkey[/URL] pulling a plow. You get to stare all day at the rear of the donkey in front of you.

I wish for Warren Buffet to give me (before the end of 2013), $30,000,000, wired into my personal bank account (in US dollars), with no restrictions on its use; and give me control over a trust of $30,000,000; and control over a charitable foundation of $40,000,000, all of which I can do with as I see fit.

Wish granted. Mr. Buffett's generosity becomes the #1 headline on the local news, and you immediately become the target of con artists and other jealous criminals.

I wish I could go back to being a teenager for three days, all while keeping my current knowledge and maturity.

[QUOTE=ixfd64;319918]Wish granted. Mr. Buffett's generosity becomes the #1 headline on the local news, and you immediately become the target of con artists and other jealous criminals.

I wish I could go back to being a teenager for three days, all while keeping my current knowledge and maturity.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted, you are now a blind, arthritic cat.

I wish my mom and grandma wouldn't fight so much.

(You have my permission to do your worst :) )