[QUOTE=jasong;353564]Wish granted, everyone thinks you're creepy because you've turned from a 15-year old into an old man overnight.

I wish I had a mentor.[/QUOTE]

Wish granted. Your cat gets a mentor. [SIZE=1]...What?[/SIZE]

I wish I had less of these face-palming moments of my life.

[QUOTE=kracker;353618]I wish I had less of these face-palming moments of my life.[/QUOTE]Wish granted, while using a table saw you accidentally slice off your hands. In your stumpy attempt to gather them up for the trip to the hospital, you accidentally feed them into the blade again. The doctors are unable to reattach them. Upon hearing the news, you wish you could face-palm, but are unable to.

I wish that I had a working DVR that worked with over-the-air broadcasts and did not require payments for to a service.

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;354488]Wish granted, while using a table saw you accidentally slice off your hands. In your stumpy attempt to gather them up for the trip to the hospital, you accidentally feed them into the blade again. The doctors are unable to reattach them. Upon hearing the news, you wish you could face-palm, but are unable to.

I wish that I had a working DVR that worked with over-the-air broadcasts and did not require payments for to a service.[/QUOTE]|Wish granted. Unfortunately it can only pick up broadcasts in Albanian.

I wish.

[QUOTE=xilman;354499]I wish.[/QUOTE]

Granted. Anything you want is yours.
Then you wake up.

I wish I could transmute just one of the laws of physics,
(say entropy).

[QUOTE=davar55;354508]I wish I could transmute just one of the laws of physics,
(say entropy).[/QUOTE]

You reverse entropy, following the arrow of time back to before the wish was granted.

I wish my video card (GeForce 8400) was a little bit faster.

[QUOTE=CRGreathouse;354512]You reverse entropy, following the arrow of time back to before the wish was granted.

I wish my video card (GeForce 8400) was a little bit faster.[/QUOTE]

Wish [URL="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ibjxoJuk1A"]granted[/URL].

I wish for the power of curtisc without the electric bill, and with no other negative consequences.

[QUOTE=kracker;354513]Wish [URL="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ibjxoJuk1A"]granted[/URL].

I wish for the power of curtisc without the electric bill, and with no other negative consequences.[/QUOTE]Granted, you become an editor of Fibonacci Quarterly and also express an ever varying number of attributes from the Curtis Cooper thread. You have a great time and party like an Ivy League undergrad with an übercredit card.

I wish the next person on this thread develops halitosis.

[QUOTE=only_human;354524]I wish the next person on this thread develops halitosis.[/QUOTE]
Wish granted. Then on your next space walk in that space suit of yours, you and I are buddy-breathing with a shared oxygen tank and mouth piece.

I wish my owner would stop making me sit on this silly blanket with my fur all unnaturally groomed while he takes my picture and just give me some dandelion leaves.

[QUOTE=Brian-E;354530]Wish granted. Then on your next space walk in that space suit of yours, you and I are buddy-breathing with a shared oxygen tank and mouth piece.

I wish my owner would stop making me sit on this silly blanket with my fur all unnaturally groomed while he takes my picture and just give me some dandelion leaves.[/QUOTE]I can't tell if you are a hamster, rabbit or guinea pig. I thought that guinea pigs synthesized their own vitamin C but briefly communing with my friend Google tells me that rabbits do but hamsters and guinea pigs do not. In any case to be sure, squeak up for your dandelion leaves, they are high in vitamin C; If your owner does not comply, bite that scurvy rat, tear up the blanket and pull your hair out. He will take you to a vet, improve your diet and cease his beach blanket bongo photo marathon efforts. Wish granted.

I wish that the next person in this thread would take a breath mint.

[QUOTE=only_human;354534]I wish that the next person in this thread would take a breath mint.[/QUOTE]I did and nearly swallowed it. Had to get the Heineken manoeuvre to dislozenge it.:ick:

I wish my (non-drug induced) hours sleeping were twice as effective (per hour) as those of the average person.

[QUOTE=kracker;354513]Wish [URL="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ibjxoJuk1A"]granted[/URL].

I wish for the power of curtisc without the electric bill, and with no other negative consequences.[/QUOTE]
Sheesh! I just noticed what that link is. He must have really been tired of that card. Guess they had fun, though.

Oops. Wish granted. Your nukular reactor runs wild, melts down, and takes your farm with it.

I wish the nukular reactor also took G. W. Bush with it, preferably before the presidency of the US was stolen for him.