I had my identity stolen by '24'
 

On this past Monday's [url=http://www.fox.com/24/recaps/season-8/episode-5.htm]latest episode of '24'[/url], I was somewhat startled to hear my name ... our intrepid hero, secret über-agent Jack Bauer is trying to infiltrate a Russian mob. His cover is to pose as a Munich-based arms dealer named Ernst Meier [Jack pronounces it just like mine].

That's right, coming soon to a TV-terrorist watch list near you ...

Anyway, here's the plan - If the big bad Russkies make my alter ego talk, I'll blame everything on the heads of the Munich crime syndicate for which I smuggle arms, "Georg Woltman" and "Alex Kruppa".

[QUOTE=ewmayer;203515]On this past Monday's [url=http://www.fox.com/24/recaps/season-8/episode-5.htm]latest episode of '24'[/url], I was somewhat startled to hear my name ... our intrepid hero, secret über-agent Jack Bauer is trying to infiltrate a Russian mob. His cover is to pose as a Munich-based arms dealer named Ernst Meier [Jack pronounces it just like mine].

That's right, coming soon to a TV-terrorist watch list near you ...

Anyway, here's the plan - If the big bad Russkies make my alter ego talk, I'll blame everything on the heads of the Munich crime syndicate for which I smuggle arms, "Georg Woltman" and "Alex Kruppa".[/QUOTE]
Might be a bit of resemblance. Can your waxy protein computer construct an illegal the AACS cryptographic key? Did you declare that upon crossing a political boundary or any body of water upon which a witch might float? Aren't encryption tools munitions? Perhaps a DCMA takedown notice on '24' is the only salvation remaining

9:00PM - 10:00PM
 

Aha!

Ernst Meier is from Bremmen (that's what he said!), which is most likely located somewhere near the Hansestadt Bremen an der Weser; anyway, it's not k.k.-land, so ewmayer's identity has not been stolen, but andererseits, Ernst Meier's accent is definitely Sonderschueler-Switzerduetsch, which, as every norddeutscher Hochdeutschspeaker knows, is identical to upper-class Austrian, so I actually don't have anything worthwhile to contribute to this thread, which actually doesn't matter, because everybody will have stopped reading after suspecting that this paragraph might not contain a single full stop

[QUOTE=ewmayer;203515]On this past Monday's [url=http://www.fox.com/24/recaps/season-8/episode-5.htm]latest episode of '24'[/url], I was somewhat startled to hear my name ... our intrepid hero, secret über-agent Jack Bauer is trying to infiltrate a Russian mob. His cover is to pose as a Munich-based arms dealer named Ernst Meier [Jack pronounces it just like mine].

That's right, coming soon to a TV-terrorist watch list near you ...

Anyway, here's the plan - If the big bad Russkies make my alter ego talk, I'll blame everything on the heads of the Munich crime syndicate for which I smuggle arms, "Georg Woltman" and "Alex Kruppa".[/QUOTE]

If you feel ridiculed, you can always change your name to: "[URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homer_to_the_Max"]Max Power[/URL]" :)

"Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the "G"s! And it doesn't stop in the bedroom. Oh, no. I'm taking charge!
Kids, there's three ways to do things: The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!"

Well, last night's episode in which we finally get to meet this mysterious German weapons-black-marketeer was unintentionally hilarious ... Jack-Bauer-alias-Ernst-Meier/Mayer/Meyr/etc, sporting a pair of black-rimmed fake glasses staright out of [i]Revenge of the Nerds[/i], is met at a secret rendezvous by several of the bad Russian weapons-black-marketeer's ruthless henchmen. The lead henchman tests Jack's cover by asking him (allegedly in poor, Russian-accented German),
[i]
"So, you are from Bremen ... I hear the girls are pretty there?"
[/i]
To which, as any true Bremer knows, the correct reply is
[i]
"Whoever told you that must have been blind, drunk as a skunk, or from the Bremen Visitor's Bureau".
[/i]
The ensuing exchange was subtitled in English, which was good, because the alleged German that was getting mis-spoken was completely unintelligible ... hello: you've got, like, 3 whole bloody lines of German you need to speak to establish your cover, and you couldn't be bothered to *practice*? Even better,this season has none other than famous German actor Jürgen Prochnow playing a Russian über-baddy ... Kiefer Sutherland (btw, somewhat amusingly, "Kiefer" is German for "jawbone") could've tried his lines out him. Anyway, the really funny part was throughout this series of scenes the CTU folks are obsessing about subtle details of Jack's cover, whereas in the real world he would've been shot in 2 seconds flat because "Er spricht kein Wort Deutsch". Even better, once Jack-alias-Ernst gives a lame excuse as why his German has "an American accent" and then switches back to English, his English has no trace of a (real or fake) German accent. Good grief...

Ah well,it was nice to be reminded why I stopped watching '24' after Season 2.

[QUOTE=ewmayer;204357]somewhat amusingly, "Kiefer" is German for
"jawbone"[/QUOTE]

:lol: I totally missed that one. Too bad he's not in a physically abusive relationship with Brooke Shields.

(Hint for davieddy: Brangelina and how would you pronounce "bruch"?)

[QUOTE=ewmayer;204357]Ah well,it was nice to be reminded why I stopped watching '24' after Season 2.[/QUOTE]

Is Monday now House, M.D.-day for you, too?

[quote=ewmayer;204357](btw, somewhat amusingly, "Kiefer" is German for "jawbone")[/quote]

... as well as [URL="http://la.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinus"]this[/URL] (pronounce carefully), which is where the name actually comes from.

[QUOTE=ckdo;204387]... as well as [URL="http://la.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinus"]this[/URL] (pronounce carefully), which is where the name actually comes from.[/QUOTE]

Being an expatriate Austrian, I am always amused that one of our famous trees, the Austrian pine, has the Latin species name [i]Pinus Nigra[/i]. "Hey honey, have we planted that Black Pinus seedling in the back yard yet?"

[QUOTE=__HRB__;204359]Is Monday now House, M.D.-day for you, too?[/QUOTE]

Much as I'm a fan of Hugh Laurie, never could get into that one in the "watch consistently" fashion ... time to crack open the unwatched-used-sale-DVDs [i]Sammelkiste[/i].

Ah, I just recalled that I bought the compleat [i]Black Adder[/i] quadrilogy a couple years back, but have yet to (re)watch Season 4 ... so I can get my Hugh Laurie in non-medical-dramamine fashion, along with plenty of Rowan Atkinson, a bit of Stephen Fry, etc. In short, [i]I have a cunning plan for Monday nights...[/i]

[QUOTE=ewmayer;204460]Much as I'm a fan of Hugh Laurie, never could get into that one in the "watch consistently" fashion ... time to crack open the unwatched-used-sale-DVDs [i]Sammelkiste[/i].[/QUOTE]

If the [i]Sammelkiste[/i] contains "Firefly: Season 1", you're in for a real treat. Last year I watched an episode on Hulu to see what all the fuss was about and consequently made it a 14-episode marathon. [I]It [U]is[/U] that good.[/I]

[QUOTE=ewmayer;204460]In short, [i]I have a cunning plan for Monday nights...[/i][/QUOTE]

A plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel?

[QUOTE=__HRB__;204465]If the [i]Sammelkiste[/i] contains "Firefly: Season 1", you're in for a real treat. Last year I watched an episode on Hulu to see what all the fuss was about and consequently made it a 14-episode marathon. [I]It [U]is[/U] that good.[/I]



A plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel?[/QUOTE]

Is it as cunning as a fox that used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on, and is now working for the UN at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning?

[QUOTE=__HRB__;204465]If the [i]Sammelkiste[/i] contains "Firefly: Season 1", you're in for a real treat. Last year I watched an episode on Hulu to see what all the fuss was about and consequently made it a 14-episode marathon.[/quote]
That one was one of the first out of the SK ... also watched the [i]Serenity[/i] series-wrapup-in-form-of-a-movie.

[quote]A plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel?[/QUOTE]
A plan so cunning that it does its own pin-the-tail disguise, and then pins the blame for its mischief on the neighbor's pet ferret.