Limerick thread
 

Limerick thread on request...


There was a young fellow named Brian
who thought that he factored just fine
but he lost his grip
on nature's neat trick
the number he factored was prime


P.S.: I hope above text [I]is[/I] a limerick - never wrote one before :grin:

A clever French monk called Mersenne
factored numbers again and again.
But the size of the figure
became so much bigger
't was beyond computation by men.

There onces was a man we'll call Mike,
who gave his son a motor bike.
His young son was scared
to ride anywhere,
so Mike rode the bike for his tyke.


(I know, the 4th and 5th line don't really rhyme, but it's the best I can do. :help: )

(BTW, this doesn't mean much unless you keep an eye on the TPR perpetual thread :whistle: )

A dozen, a gross and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
When divided by seven
(Plus five times 11)
Is exactly nine squared and no more

(stolen from [url]http://braden.weblogs.com/mathGems/limericks[/url])

An ant was heard to complain
that a chemist had damaged his brain.
The cause of his sorrow
was paradichloro
diphenyltrichloroethane.

[i]With apologies to eepiccolo [/i]

There once was a man we'll call Mike,
who gave his son a motorized bike.
His young son was so scared
to ride it, he not dared,
so Mike rode the bike 'stead the tyke.

My last post was too stilted.

Perhaps this is better:

There once was a man we'll call Mike,
Who gave his son a motorized bike.
Too dangerous to ride,
The kid saved his hide.
And Mike crashed bike 'stead the tyke.

Now, I sure someone else can make it even better.

There once were some urgent alerts
"erotic of elliptic curves"
that was written arrant
moderator banned blunt
even though they just referenced smurfs

:whistle:

A few old favourites with both a numerical and a self-referential theme.

1) There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why it was,
He replied: "It's because
I invariably attempt to include as many polysyllabic words into the ultimate line as I possibly can".

2) There was a young man of China
Whose feeling for rhythm was much finer.
His limericks tend
To come to an end
Suddenly.

3) There was a young man of Peru
Whose limericks end at line two.

4) There was a young man of Verdun.

5)



Paul

Two photons, close-coupled at start,
Flew several parsecs apart.
Said one, in distress,
"What you're forced to express
Removes any choice on my part."

(David Halliday)

[quote=xilman;12936]
There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why it was,
He replied: "It's because
I invariably attempt to include as many polysyllabic words into the ultimate line as I possibly can".

Paul[/quote]

This is one of my favourites and it is crucial
to the humour that the first four lines scan immaculately.

To lower the rather twee tone, I also recall a young lady
from Ealing and a young girl from Devizes.

David

There was a young man of Montrose
Who wasn't a very good poet.
The first line was OK
The second was dubious
And after that it just fell apart entirely.

Indeed. It begs the question why Montrose?

[QUOTE=davieddy;160481]Indeed. It begs the question why Montrose?[/QUOTE]

Why not?

If you like surrealistic jokes with a Scottish flavour
try this one:
Name three fish that begin and end with K.

(It was Burns Night yesterday)

[quote=davieddy;160485]If you like surrealistic jokes with a Scottish flavour
try this one:
Name three fish that begin and end with K.

(It was Burns Night yesterday)[/quote]

Netiquette dictates than one of you must say
"I give up" before I reveal the answer.

I give up.

[quote=Flatlander;160494]I give up.[/quote]

So do I.

[QUOTE=davieddy;160485]If you like surrealistic jokes with a Scottish flavour
try this one:
Name three fish that begin and end with K.

(It was Burns Night yesterday)[/QUOTE]

Killine Kleg Kylling

Slink Gornack Haddock


You didn't specifically say it had to be the same ones that started and ended in "K".

[QUOTE=xilman;12936]4) There was a young man of Verdun.[/QUOTE]

No vere not, apparently:

[QUOTE=TauCeti;12937]Two photons, close-coupled at start,
Flew several parsecs apart.
Said one, in distress,
"What you're forced to express
Removes any choice on my part."

(David Halliday)[/QUOTE]

Traditional limericks are frequently about coupling, but I do believe this puts a new spin on that aspect of the genre.

An oldie and a (mathematical) bawdy, not due to me:
[i]
A mathematician name Hall,
Had a hexahedronical ball,
The cube of its weight,
Times the square root of eight,
Was four-fifths of five-eighths of f***-all.[/i]

[QUOTE=davieddy;160485]If you like surrealistic jokes with a Scottish flavour try this one:
Name three fish that begin and end with K.[/QUOTE]

That's easy - if you're Norwegian:

Koljefisk (Haddock)

Krøklefisk (Smelt)

Kveitefisk (Halibut)

Where do I go to claim my prize of a haggis?

Shark, haddock, pollock. Nothing said they have to begin with k, only they have to begin!

[quote=Flatlander;160494]I give up.[/quote]
Thank heavens I can get this one off my chest:smile:
Killer shark
Kwiksave boil-in-the-bag haddock
Kilmarnock

Courtesy of a favourite barmaid of mine.

(It's the way you tell them)

I am [i]so[/i] glad I withdrew my guess.

[quote=cheesehead;160571]I am [I]so[/I] glad I withdrew my guess.[/quote]
Don't be shy. In the context of this thread, nothing is too absurd.

See
[URL]http://mersenneforum.org/showthread.php?p=160258#post160258[/URL]

I seriously sympathise with Einstein on this one.