Resident forum assistants, past and present
 

We have been unforgivably negligent in informing you all about our resident task force of highly motivated assistants who help, behind the scenes, to make this forum run smoothly.

So with that said, here we go!

Cat1 - Cat1 arrived somewhat unexpectedly and left his mark in a fashion that won't soon be forgotten. He is a brilliant mathematician but suffers from a terrible addiction to nepetalactone. His forte was answering the forum's crank email. He'd string the unsuspecting crank along for weeks, offering tidbits of encouragement and mathematical assistance, and then tell the crank to report his findings to George and/or the Prime email list. We occasionally suspect that some of the more recent eccentric threads in the forum may be started by him. We did not plan on letting him go, but the trolls were very allergic to his fur and it was affecting their health. He also spent a disproportionate amount of time sitting in front of the gerbil aquarium, which caused the gerbils to get a little nervous. He now lives across town with a little old lady who has AOL dialup Internet and no rodents. We suspect this displeases him but she has a large stash of nepetalactone so we figure he doesn't really care any more.

Snake1 - Snake1 is a relatively recent addition to our staff. He arrived here in very poor physical health but has since nearly doubled his weight to a healthy 300 grams. He initially showed very little interest in the workings of the forum but he is now getting more involved. His preferred programming language, Python, is of very little use to us, but he is slowly learning PHP. He has also picked up answering crank emails although he isn't nearly as clever with his replies as Cat1 was. Avatar selection and assignment is also now his job. Despite his shortcomings we expect him to be up to speed in a year or two. Snakes live pretty long so the investment is worth it in the long haul. The only odd characteristic we have noticed about Snake1 is that his job performance is directly affected by the temperature of his aquarium. If his aquarium drops below 75°F, he gets sluggish and forgetful, like George. If the aquarium gets warmer than 75°F, he gets jittery and unpredictable, like Ernst.

Gerbil1 and Gerbil2 - There is no way to describe the gerbils individually, since they were psychologically Siamese twins. Frequently one would finish the sentence that the other was speaking, and the result made sense. They were very hard workers and were the prime architects of most of the customizations that make our forum so unique. Gerbil2 was a bit shy so when Gerbil1 would post a small comment in a thread he'd just add in a "Yeah!". Gerbil2 was also a brilliant avatar selection and assignment wizard. He had a unique ability to find a picture to match a personality. Both gerbils were fluent in PHP and MYSQL. Unfortunately, both have passed on due to old age, and as a result, forum tinkering has come to a near standstill. They never commented their code so delving into their work is like listening to an "Alvin and the Chipmunks" record, backwards. Their insatiable appetite for Helianthus annuus seeds may have been a contributing factor in their brief life, as both were quite portly. At no time was Snake1 a threat to them and we suspect Snake1 might have been intimidated by them due to their size, spastic tag-team abilities and psychic connection. We knew instinctively when Gerbil2 passed on that Gerbil1 would follow shortly. They will be greatly missed.

Troll1, Troll2, Troll3 and Troll4 - Yes, we have four trolls. Most people think we have just two, but there are two troll children in the family. We cannot remember when the trolls came to work but it certainly was back when the forum ran on PHPBB. The trolls are tasked with keeping our search engine optimized and with running our FreeBSD server. Our uptime is always above three nines so they are doing an excellent job. We communicate with them via pictographs as their native tongue is guttural and unpleasant to hear, almost like German. Troll1 is our primary point of contact and he is known for his temper. If we ask a question that we have not thoroughly researched beforehand he gets very upset and rants/grunts for a few minutes and then utters the only English word he knows, "Goog", which we assume means "Google". Troll2 is much easier to talk to but he is very shy. Troll1 and Troll2 are married. We learned last year that they are both male. (It is hard to tell just by looking at them!) Apparently, same-sex marriage among trolls is very common. The children were adopted from Troll2's sister, who was horribly maimed by the wheel of a shopping cart. The picture of the trolls you see when you search for new posts, and there aren't any to display, is their wedding photograph. Trolls usually live a very long time and only celebrate birthdays on leap years. Even though their actual birthday might be in September or December, they celebrate it on February 29th. If we lose something we know to ask the trolls if they have "found" it. The troll children are home schooled and are currently learning 6809 assembly language. We have no idea why, but at least our Color Computer 3 is getting some use. We actually received a package (eBay?) in the mail with an "EDTASM+" cartridge inside, which they snatched up.

To all our resident forum assistants, past and present:

:bow wave:

You say that the gerbils have died, but when you receive a private message email, it is still from "The Gerbils". Could you update this?

[quote=10metreh;151701]You say that the gerbils have died, but when you receive a private message email, it is still from "The Gerbils". Could you update this?[/quote]

You don't quite seem to understand that this forum has a personality. Please try to.

p.s. The Gerbils are with us in spirit.

Thanks for posting in this thread. I was busy watching meteors at the time of xyzzy's post, and had missed this true gem of his original post!

Long live the gerbils! May they rest in peace!

Snake1, AKA [I]El Gordo[/I], now weighs in at ~700g.

All of the trolls are accounted for.

:ouch:

Fish1 has been in quarantine for the the last week. We will allocate some of the workload around here to him after he is relocated to his awesome one gallon Betta aquarium in a few days.

:mike:

Fish1 has survived his quarantine ordeal and is now beginning to learn how to do the monthly forum backups. It is a relatively easy job and a very necessary one.

(The fact that we only do monthly backups is kind of scary. If we had an "issue" we'd lose quite a bit of data, but the process takes a very long time because of the amount of data being processed.)

We have placed Fish1's palace next to Snake1's aquarium so hopefully they are getting aquainted. Snake1 seems especially friendly right now.

:mike:

Just curious...why did Fish1 need to have a quarantine in the first place? (I've never had fish myself, so pardon me if the answer to this would otherwise be rather obvious. :smile:)

[QUOTE]Just curious...why did Fish1 need to have a quarantine in the first place?[/QUOTE]Typically you quarantine new fish destined to join a group of established fish, to prevent the new fish from passing an illness to the group. In Fish1's case, we figured if he survived a few weeks then we would put him in the fancy little aquarium. If we had put him in the fancy little aquarium and he got sick and died, we would have to do a lot of work to make the tank safe again.

[SIZE=1]Fish1: Ubj qb V glcr urer? Qbrf guvf guvat jbex?[/SIZE]

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;235749]Typically you quarantine new fish destined to join a group of established fish, to prevent the new fish from passing an illness to the group. In Fish1's case, we figured if he survived a few weeks then we would put him in the fancy little aquarium. If we had put him in the fancy little aquarium and he got sick and died, we would have to do a lot of work to make the tank safe again.

[SIZE=1]Fish1: Ubj qb V glcr urer? Qbrf guvf guvat jbex?[/SIZE][/QUOTE]
Ah, makes sense. I had considered the possibility of preventing spread of illness to other fish, but since this one is Fish[i]1[/i], I ruled that out...hadn't considered the possibility of lingering infection.

Dog1 joined our team last week. He is very friendly and surprisingly quiet.

We found him at the local animal shelter. He has a permanently broken rear femur but he gets about with no troubles. The shelter considered amputating his leg but he is still able to use it a little and it does not hurt him. His medical record, which the shelter gave to us, is more thorough and comprehensive than our own medical record.

We have not yet figured what job he will be tasked with. For now we are just letting him settle in and get comfortable.

Troll1 seems a bit concerned with Dog1. We are not sure what Troll1 is trying to tell us but he appears to be making burrowing gestures or something.

:mike:

Snake1, AKA [I]El Gordo[/I], has been relocated to the [URL="http://www.arkansasstateparks.com/!userfiles/pdfs/Village%20Creek_2012%20PIB_website.pdf"]Village Creek State Park[/URL]. He is now part of their reptile exhibit and spends a lot of time travelling to schools and other events for people to learn about snakes. The park needed a large snake but they did not want to procure a wild one, so Snake1 was a shoo-in for the job.

He is still able to communicate with us occasionally since the park is only 10 minutes away, and we visit the park a lot. (It is a real nice park and the staff is awesome!)

:snake1:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;335469]Snake1, AKA [I]El Gordo[/I], has been relocated to the [URL="http://www.arkansasstateparks.com/!userfiles/pdfs/Village%20Creek_2012%20PIB_website.pdf"]Village Creek State Park[/URL]. [/QUOTE]
At first I was worried that he got away.:shock:

Here are current pictures of Fish1 and Dog1.

We are never able to photograph the Trolls but we will keep trying.

:mike:

Dog1 unexpectedly had to be euthanized today. It is a rather complicated story but the good news is we were able to be with him at the end and the entire process was peaceful.

We sure will miss the little guy. He brightened up our day and was our best friend.

:mike:

Sorry to hear that, Mike. Condolences on your loss. :spot:

Why on Earth did you euthanize dog1? :? What condition was it?

[QUOTE=Stargate38;374004]Why on Earth did you euthanize dog1? :? What condition was it?[/QUOTE]

Sigh...

Fish1 was euthanized tonight.

He wasn't cute or cuddly but he was a pretty cool fish, and we will miss him.

:mike:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;373831]Dog1 unexpectedly had to be euthanized today.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;375385]Fish1 was euthanized tonight.[/QUOTE]

Firing all the staff, aren't you? Any plans to decrease the forum value, or something?... Evade revenue department eyes? ... hehe...

We found a dog at the local shelter today who is interested in becoming part of the forum team.

There is no way he could replace Dog1, because Dog1 was just too awesome, but we think every assistant brings a unique set of skills that are useful.

We will know within a week or so if we will offer him a permanent position.

:spot:

Dog2 officially joined the mersenneforum team today.

He is, we think, possibly related to the [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catahoula_Cur"]Louisiana Catahoula Leopard Dog[/URL]. In particular, he has the leopard spots on his coat and one of his eyes is [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catahoula_Cur#Eyes"]multicolored[/URL].

He weighs in at a trim 44 pounds of muscle and loves to play hard. He is very friendly and the only way to photograph his tail not wagging is when he is pretending to be asleep.

We are not sure yet what duties he will be assigned. Perhaps the monthly forum backups would be a good place to start, since Fish1 is no longer with us.

:mike:

Congrats on the new doggie - very cute in a delightful mutt-ish way, looks kinda like a cross between a boxer (body+paws) and a desert fox (the animal, not the Rommel variety) in the oversized ears. "The better to hear you with, Bernie, erm, ich meine General Montgomery."

So, any visits to the local shelter to look for a new fishie on the agenda?

Maybe they're running an "adopt 10 fishes, get a cat for free" special.

We have a brand new 40 gallon (36"×18"×16") aquarium and sturdy metal stand, along with a [URL="http://usa.hagen.com/Aquatic/Filtration/Clip-On/A620"]nice filter[/URL], but we lack the motivation to set it all up. Maybe later?

:mike:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;381713]We have a brand new 40 gallon (36"×18"×16") aquarium and sturdy metal stand, along with a [URL="http://usa.hagen.com/Aquatic/Filtration/Clip-On/A620"]nice filter[/URL], but we lack the motivation to set it all up. Maybe later?

:mike:[/QUOTE]

This sounds like a perfect "science project in the home" for some young-teens - go any? If not, consider bribing some local kids, maybe with "free future fish offspring" vouchers.

[QUOTE]This sounds like a perfect "science project in the home" for some young-teens - go any?[/QUOTE]There is a feral 13-year-old living with us that has been tasked with "making a plan" for the tank. So far the plans presented to us have been a bit too extravagant for our budget, and anything simpler is "too boring".

:mike:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;381749]There is a feral 13-year-old living with us that has been tasked with "making a plan" for the tank.[/QUOTE]Might I suggest [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Man_in_a_box.jpg"]contortionism[/URL]?

Also, Dog2 should be in charge of camouflage.

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;381749]There is a feral 13-year-old living with us that has been tasked with "making a plan" for the tank. So far the plans presented to us have been a bit too extravagant for our budget, and anything simpler is "too boring".

:mike:[/QUOTE]

Give them a budget, say, "show me what we could we with that, and if El Jefe is pleased, the fund disbursement shall commence", and see how creative El Feral (or is it La?) is in terms of finding budget-minded shark-tank stuff on the intertubes.

Given how much fish-tank stuff I see "free to good home" on the local FreeCycling sites, as long as you're willing to drive around and pick stuff up, you should be able to snarf a lot of stuff free or on the cheap.

[QUOTE=ewmayer;381769]Give them a budget, say, "show me what we could we with that, and if El Jefe is pleased, the fund disbursement shall commence", and see how creative El Feral (or is it La?) is in terms of finding budget-minded shark-tank stuff on the intertubes.

Given how much fish-tank stuff I see "free to good home" on the local FreeCycling sites, as long as you're willing to drive around and pick stuff up, you should be able to snarf a lot of stuff free or on the cheap.[/QUOTE]Think outside the box (tank?) Consider keeping organisms other than fish in there. For isntance, African giant snails make fascinating pets, are easy to feed and, if they breed too profusely, are very nice with garlic butter.

[QUOTE=xilman;381795]For isntance, African giant snails make fascinating pets, are easy to feed and, if they breed too profusely, are very nice with garlic butter.[/QUOTE]I think the USDA might be a bit upset about that:
[url]http://phys.org/news/2014-08-usda-seizes-illegal-giant-snails.html[/url]
[quote]The giant African snail damages buildings, destroys crops and can cause meningitis in humans.[/quote]

[QUOTE=retina;381796]I think the USDA might be a bit upset about that:
[url]http://phys.org/news/2014-08-usda-seizes-illegal-giant-snails.html[/url][/QUOTE]Curious. They are popular pets over here. Perhaps the difference is that our winters are too cold for them to survive long enough to be a pest.

[QUOTE=retina;381796]I think the USDA might be a bit upset about that:
[url]http://phys.org/news/2014-08-usda-seizes-illegal-giant-snails.html[/url][/QUOTE]

One more reason for a "sauté on sight" policy.

The non-water-filled route sounds promising, though - maybe Mike could consider other critters like snakes, turtles, armadillos, jumping frogs, &c.

Retina, does the USDA have anything to say about keeping African goliath frogs? Not sure if Mike's tank would be suitably large for those, but maybe some suitably well-shaded and dampish portion of the backyard...

Between the giant snails and the goliath frogs, seems they grow 'em big in Africa -- "it's like a Willis O'Brien creature feature in your terrarium".

[QUOTE=ewmayer;381849]Retina, does the USDA have anything to say about keeping African goliath frogs? Not sure if Mike's tank would be suitably large for those, but maybe some suitably well-shaded and dampish portion of the backyard...[/QUOTE]Apparently they make good eating also. But there are so few of them that I doubt the USDA considers them a pest. Perhaps more likely they will encourage one to keep them if you can get them to breed and get them off the endangered species category.

[QUOTE=retina;381851]Apparently they make good eating also. But there are so few of them that I doubt the USDA considers them a pest. Perhaps more likely they will encourage one to keep them if you can get them to breed and get them off the endangered species category.[/QUOTE]

Business idea: Mike sees if he can get a breeding pair to produce offspring in the Arkansas climate. If successful, expand to goliath frog ranching -- could be start of a whole new western-frontier/[strike]cowboy[/strike]frogman literary & movie genre here, to boot -- thus un-endangering the frogs, and leading to a lucrative Buffalo-wild-wings-style eatery franchise, just replacing the chicken wings with giant-frog legs.

And besides the pop wave of western frog-themed novels and films, we'll also of course have country songs (apologies to [i]Nickel Creek[/i] for [url=http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/creek-nickel/git-along-little-dogies-2410.html]shameless plagiarism[/url] in the name of humor):
[i]
[b]Git Along Little Froggies Lyrics - Nickel Creek. Album: Little Frogpoke[/b]

As I was walking one morning for pleasure
I spied a frogpuncher riding along
His hat was throwed back and his spurs were a-jingling
And as he approached he was singing this song

Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little froggies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little froggies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home

Early in the springtime we round up the froggies
Mark 'em and brand 'em and bob off their tails
Round up the horses, load up the chuck wagon
Then throw the little froggies out on the long trail

Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little froggies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little froggies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home

Night comes on and we hold 'em on the bedground
The same little froggies that rolled on so slow
We roll up the herd and cut out the stray ones
Then roll the little froggies like never before (in hot garlic butter)

Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little froggies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little froggies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home

Some boys go up the long trail for pleasure
But that's where they get it most awfully wrong
For you'll never know the trouble they give us
As we go drivin' them froggies along

Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little froggies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little froggies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home

Whoopee ti yi yo, git along little froggies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Whoopie ti yi yo, git along little froggies
You know that Wyoming will be your new home
You know that Wyoming will be your new home[/i]

Now, who should play Rowdy Yates in the frog-based [i]Rawhide[/i] remake? I would even suggest Clint should reprise his role despite his advanced years, but if the series becomes the smash hit I expect it to, the danger would be the star croaking unexpectedly.

Ooh, wait -- it just came to me, the perfect mix of old west and new frog -- instead of [i]Rawhide[/i], we do a remake of [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopalong_Cassidy]Hopalong Cassidy[/url]. The name just screams "frogpoke".

The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County by Mark Twain.
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Celebrated_Jumping_Frog_of_Calaveras_County[/url]

summary:[QUOTE]Once, Jim caught a frog and named it Dan'l Webster. For three months, he trained the frog to jump. At the end of those three months, the frog could jump over more ground than any other. Jim carried the frog around in a box.

One day, a stranger to the town asks Jim what is in his box. Jim says that it is a frog that can outjump any other frog in Calaveras County. The stranger looks at the frog and responds that the frog doesn't look any different than the other frogs of Calaveras County, so he mustn't be the best. The stranger tells Jim that if he had a frog, he'd bet $40 that his frog could beat Jim's.

Jim agrees to the bet, and he gives the box to the stranger to hold while Jim hunts for another frog for the stranger. While Jim is catching the stranger's frog, the stranger pours lead shot into the mouth of Jim's frog.

When Jim returns, he and the stranger arrange the frogs for the contest. They align the frogs evenly, and on the count of three they let them loose. The freshly-caught frog jumps away, but Dan'l Webster doesn't budge.

Jim is surprised and disgusted. He gives the money to the stranger and the stranger happily leaves. Jim wonders why Dan'l looks so heavy. He takes the frog and tips him upside down. The frog coughs up handfuls of shot. Jim sets the frog down, and chases after the stranger. The stranger is long gone, however, and Jim never catches him.[/QUOTE]

I had a cat once. And later two dogs. A goldfish, a bird.
Never two at the same time. They weren't smart enough
to bee work assistants. Well, the first dog might have,
except I was in school at the time and never asked him.
I liked all of them. Except maybe the fish, he didn't seem
to mind being contained all the time, so we had a different
set of values. I don't remember the bird so well, but he
liked to escape his cage and fly around our place. Smart
decision. Him I liked. The first dog was very smart, he
and I had a real rapport. I used to miss him. But
eventually I found an octopus. We have sort of a love-hate
on-going relationship. He is as sharp as they come, but
he seems more interested in defending himself than in
untangling his tentacles. That's OK, we get along.

[QUOTE]And besides the pop wave of western frog-themed novels and films, we'll also of course have country songs[/QUOTE]

The original is a bit more obscure, outside of folkie circles, (look up, "I got no use for wimmin") but this one has been around for a long time. It is supposedly based on a very far fetched story about two guys going frog gigging. Source:
[url]http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=27589#338813[/url]

[CENTER]The Gigger's Lament
[/CENTER]
I got no use for them froggies
For gigging out under the moon
'Cuz buddy, I've learned me my lesson
And I learned it none too soon;
'Cuz gigging them frogs make you crazy
And gigging them frogs makes you dumb,
Jest listen to the tale that I tell you,
An' you'll unnerstan' how come.

Mah frien' was an honest frog-gigger.
He was upright, an' honest and square
But he ended up guardin' a harem,
An' t'was giggin, put him there.
If he'd just stayed at home with his Missus
He might have been raisin' a son!
Instead, he was turned to a yewnick
With a shot from his own frog gun.


His old Chevy pickup was trusty,
Though its springs were as broken as hell;
When a blown fuse took out both his headlights,
He jes' stuck in a twenty-two shell.
Down back country roads, then at midnight,
We bounced along our way,
But impedance overheated that cartridge,
And it blew his nuts away.


Ah know that it wasn't too clever;
Ah know it was dumber than squat!
But my friend, when your balls are blown open,
It's too late to think of that!
We got him rushed over t' the Clinic
But the local press published his name
And the pore boy had to flee to Poonjabi,

To escape a life of shame.


So now he stands guarding a harem,
While someone else gets all the fun,
And he can't see a frog without weeping,
An' he's scared to touch a gun.
So Ah'll say good by to the bayou,
And the midnight call of the loon,
An' never more will I go giggin'
By the light of that bayou moon.


The alleged story follows. I'll leave the Snopes work to others. :smile:
[QUOTE] [I][B]Freaky Frog Gigging . . .[/B] [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] -- Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. [/I]
[I] Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. [/I]
[I] As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. After inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the White River bridge. After traveling about 20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. [/I]
[I] Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis. [/I]
[I] "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Deputy Snyder. [/I]
[I] Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife, asked how many frogs the boys had caught [B][U]and did anyone get them from the truck.[/U][/B] (Way to go, Lavinia).[/I]
[/QUOTE]

Well, actually:
[url]http://www.snopes.com/autos/techno/fuse.asp[/url]

Clever tale and a funny song built on it, though.

The Troll children have been very ill recently. We are unable to take them to see a doctor because they are really hard to catch. Plus, we think most doctors would not know much about Trolls. From what we can tell, Trolls deal with health issues with large doses of cod liver oil.

:sick:

Anyways, through a complicated process of elimination we discovered that the Troll children are allergic to Dog2's fur. Dog2 does not shed fur very much, but it does tend to get on the floor and in deep dark corners, where Trolls like to hang out.

After much deliberation, we sadly returned Dog2 to the shelter we adopted him from. The good news is because he lived with us for several months, his health and socialization skills have improved to the point that we are assured he will be adopted very soon. The shelter we deal with actually ships dogs to Maine because (somehow) there is a shortage of dogs there. (!)

Dog2 will be missed. He was a lot of fun and he was very silly, which was cool.

We had hoped that Dog2 would "fill in" the hole in our life after Dog1 died but we now know that no dog will ever be able to do that. Knowing that, and knowing that there is a good chance the Troll children will be allergic to it, we doubt we will adopt another dog.

:spot:

Sorry about Dogs 1 & 2. In time, it will have been for the best.

We have a new intern here at the fantabulous mersenneforum.org headquarters.

We had not planned on hiring another dog, but one wandered aimlessly into our yard today and was in terrible need of employment. He was nearly starved but we see a lot of that around here in the land-of-no-leash-laws.

He has been extensively poked and prodded by our veterinarian and has been given a clean bill of health. He is severely underweight at 27 pounds but that is easily remedied. He is not picky about food at all!

The Troll children thus far have not had an allergic response to his fur, but we will monitor that situation very carefully. We are hopeful that the much higher efficiency filtration system here might help in that regard. The hovel we operated from previously was a hazardous waste nightmare.

:spot:

I hope things work out for you all and him. He looks like a nice houndy sort of dog. :smile:
He must be bigger than I am picking up from the pictures if he is emaciated at 27 lbs. :sad:

That's a beautiful animal. No doubt he will look even more impressive at full fighting weight! :smile:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;414747]We have a new intern here at the fantabulous mersenneforum.org headquarters.

We had not planned on hiring another dog, but one wandered aimlessly into our yard today and was in terrible need of employment. He was nearly starved but we see a lot of that around here in the land-of-no-leash-laws.

He has been extensively poked and prodded by our veterinarian and has been given a clean bill of health. He is severely underweight at 27 pounds but that is easily remedied. He is not picky about food at all!

The Troll children thus far have not had an allergic response to his fur, but we will monitor that situation very carefully. We are hopeful that the much higher efficiency filtration system here might help in that regard. The hovel we operated from previously was a hazardous waste nightmare.

:spot:[/QUOTE]

Looks really cute, in a people-friendly sort of way - now you just need to train him to wear goggles & scarf and ride in the sidecar of your motorbike. :P

We hope he proves a worthy successor to your dear departed previous hound dog.

[QUOTE=ewmayer;414757]Looks really cute, in a [B]people-friendly sort of way[/B] - now you just need to train him to wear goggles & scarf and ride in the sidecar of your motorbike. :P

We hope he proves a worthy successor to your dear departed previous hound dog.[/QUOTE]

Exactly! It certainly seems he has some socialization. Couldn't the trolls just wear respirators and take lots of Claritin®? :whistle:

Great to see he now lives somewhere where he will be well looked after. Clearly that wasn't the case before.

[QUOTE=kladner;414751]He must be bigger than I am picking up from the pictures if he is emaciated at 27 lbs. :sad:[/QUOTE]He isn't super big, but he wouldn't fit into a microwave, either.

We stayed home from school today since the medicine he was given has caused him to have some pretty intense gastrointestinal distress. We finally got a picture of him that shows his skeleton-like appearance. He looked worse yesterday. Since then he has eaten a lot!

The veterinarian was able to guess his age by his teeth. She thinks he is about seven months old.

:spot:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;414841]He isn't super big, but he wouldn't fit into a microwave, either.

We stayed home from school today since the medicine he was given has caused him to have some pretty intense gastrointestinal distress. We finally got a picture of him that shows his skeleton-like appearance. He looked worse yesterday. Since then he has eaten a lot!

The veterinarian was able to guess his age by his teeth. She thinks he is about seven months old.

:spot:[/QUOTE]

Skinny, but looking at the rest of him - esp. the haunch & shoulder musculature - not direly so, as these things go. And his coat looks good. Another 5 lbs and he'll be right as rain, and he'll probably put that on in a mere week or two.

Does he goes walkies with you yet?

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;414841]He isn't super big, but he wouldn't fit into a microwave, either.

We stayed home from school today since the medicine he was given has caused him to have some pretty intense gastrointestinal distress. We finally got a picture of him that shows his skeleton-like appearance. He looked worse yesterday. Since then he has eaten a lot!

The veterinarian was able to guess his age by his teeth. She thinks he is about seven months old.

:spot:[/QUOTE]

I thought he looked fairly young. The previous photo of him sleeping is adorable.

How are the troll children doing? Any sniffles?

[QUOTE=ewmayer;414859]Does he goes walkies with you yet?[/QUOTE]Yes. We are just walking down the street for now.

[QUOTE=kladner;414876]How are the troll children doing? Any sniffles?[/QUOTE]We rarely see them but we assume they are fine, so far.

:mike:

Earlier today, the aimlessly-wandering-canine-in-need-of-employment was officially offered a position here at the fantabulous mersenneforum.org headquarters!

He accepted, which was very fortunate for us, because now he can work off his $500 medical bill.

Dog3 had some private parts removed this morning. We are not sure if he will miss them but we have been told that the procedure is a very responsible thing to do.

We do not know what forum task he will be assigned to do. Right now his only skill is retrieving a minute percentage of thrown tennis balls.

The Troll children are tolerating his presence suspiciously well. We presume they have been "borrowing" his dog food, because he hasn't gained any weight yet.

:spot:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;417069].......

The Troll children are tolerating his presence suspiciously well. We presume they have been "borrowing" his dog food, because he hasn't gained any weight yet.

:spot:[/QUOTE]

Do you see him eat, but he's not gaining weight? How long have you been caring for him, now? I know you've had him to the vet.

I had experience with a puppy who was really small when my friend took him in, from a bad home with one of his sisters. He didn't get that much bigger, at first. But then he set course for something like 60-65 lbs. Did I mention that he was part lab and part pit? He had the loose skin and layered, near waterproof undercoat of a near-white lab, with a faint tan patch on his back. He had a red spot on the skin of his nose. When he started growing, he was incredibly strong. Walking him on a leash was real exercise.

Sadly, when I was no longer involved, Palomo first started going out under a chain link fence. When that was denied him by pinning down the edge, he went through it; forcing his nose through until he could put feet through and put those pit-bull shoulders to work. I saw the hole in the fence that had been laced back together. My friend got rid of him, probably to no place nice. It did not help that he refused to get "those private parts" removed. :sad:

[QUOTE=kladner;417091]Do you see him eat, but he's not gaining weight?[/QUOTE]We are watching now!

[quote]How long have you been caring for him, now?[/quote]Since the 15th.

:mike:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;417120]We are watching now!

Since the 15th.

:mike:[/QUOTE]

Give him time. He may surprise you when he gets over having been starved and stunted. He still seems to move like a puppy, but that state might have been prolonged by malnourishment.

[QUOTE=kladner;417137]Give him time. He may surprise you when he gets over having been starved and stunted. He still seems to move like a puppy, but that state might have been prolonged by malnourishment.[/QUOTE]

If I may support that...

We are the staff for "Deimos" AKA "Super Mos" AKA "Indestructible Mos Cat".

He showed up at our doorstep with over 50% of his body burned. It turned out this was caused by a chemical burn rather than a thermal burn.

We now understand why: if there is ever a fluid around he will jump into it.

He has cost us over $500 USD in vet bills, but he protects everyone in the family.

We found a picture of Cat1 today.

:mike:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;423662]We found a picture of Cat1 today.

:mike:[/QUOTE]
How is the doggie doing? :spot:

[QUOTE=kladner;423781]How is the doggie doing? :spot:[/QUOTE]He is very active. We have to take a pile of pictures to get one in focus.

:mike:

Wonderful! :smile:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;423832]We have to take a pile of pictures to get one in focus.

:mike:[/QUOTE]
[COLOR=LemonChiffon].[/COLOR]

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;139203]Trolls usually live a very long time and only celebrate birthdays on leap years. Even though their actual birthday might be in September or December, they celebrate it on February 29th.[/QUOTE][tex]\calendar[2016,2,29][/tex]

:toot:

Originally Posted by [B]Xyzzy[/B] [URL="http://www.mersenneforum.org/showthread.php?p=139203#post139203"][IMG]http://www.mersenneforum.org/images/buttons/viewpost.gif[/IMG][/URL]
[I][QUOTE]
Trolls usually live a very long time and only celebrate birthdays on leap years. Even though their actual birthday might be in September or December, they celebrate it on February 29th.[/QUOTE][/I]HBD to the trolls. My special day was a Friday 13, in February, a long time ago, it seems.[I] :paul: [/I]So I must not be a troll.

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;414747]He is severely underweight at 27 pounds but that is easily remedied.[/QUOTE]We weighed him today and he is 46 pounds!

:spot:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;430642]We weighed him today and he is 46 pounds!

:spot:[/QUOTE]
Rescued animals always prefer to hear their weight expressed in kilos or Newtons, not that other dreaded word. :jail:

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;430646]Rescued animals always prefer to hear their weight expressed in kilos or Newtons, not that other dreaded word. :jail:[/QUOTE]
LOL!

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;430646]Rescued animals always prefer to hear their weight expressed in kilos or Newtons, not that other dreaded word. :jail:[/QUOTE]

Hopefully not in kilonewtons, though.

Apropos of very little, a typical apple weighs one Newton.

Coincidence? I think not. We should be told but those in the know will doubtless claim there is no conspiracy here. OTOH, why do they spend so much time and effort denying conspiracies and denigrating seekers after the truth? What are they trying to hide?

[QUOTE=Uncwilly;430646]Rescued animals always prefer to hear their weight expressed in kilos or Newtons, not that other dreaded word. :jail:[/QUOTE]

Slugs? Stones? Electron volts?

Slugs and stones may break my bones, but eVs will never shock me.

Dog3 visited the animal doctor this last weekend and received a clean bill of health and a bunch of vaccinations.

20151102 - 27.8#
20160514 - 46.8#

He has learned to catch a bounced tennis ball in the air. And he brings it back a few times, too!

:spot:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;434209]Dog3 visited the animal doctor this last weekend and received a clean bill of health and a bunch of vaccinations.

20151102 - 27.8#
20160514 - 46.8#

He has learned to catch a bounced tennis ball in the air. And he brings it back a few times, too!

:spot:[/QUOTE]
Recent photos of D3?

[QUOTE=kladner;434251]Recent photos of D3?[/QUOTE][YOUTUBE]0iz3vxLD4Lg[/YOUTUBE]

Thanks! Good to see he's doing well. :smile:

Dog3 visited the animal doctor this last weekend for his annual exam and received a clean bill of health.

20151102 - 27.8#
20160514 - 46.8#
20161029 - 54.6#

He adopted us a year ago.

:spot:

Glad to hear he's doing well. How big is he now?

He seems a lot bigger than he looks in the early pictures.

It wasn't until a few months ago that we really started to bond with him. The sadness from losing Dog1 probably made it difficult for us to get emotionally involved.

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;446456]He seems a lot bigger than he looks in the early pictures.

It wasn't until a few months ago that we really started to bond with him. The sadness from losing Dog1 probably made it difficult for us to get emotionally involved.[/QUOTE]
I just realized that the numbers above were weights. So he doubled in a year! :smile:

[QUOTE=kladner;446463]So he doubled in a year! :smile:[/QUOTE][COLOR=White]Unfortunately, we feel the same about our own weight.[/COLOR]

Raman!

Dog3 outgrew his original collar so we bought him a larger one.

He plays a lot of different games now.

Most of the games involve us chasing him around. He seems to like that a lot!

If we get tired and run away from him, he then chases us.

:spot:

"The Gods may be crazy, but they can be entertaining!"

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;139203]Trolls usually live a very long time and only celebrate birthdays on leap years. Even though their actual birthday might be in September or December, they celebrate it on February 29th.[/QUOTE]:party:

Mike: are you still employing gerbils? It's been a long time since you gave us an update.

Anyway, if you are perhaps you should [URL="https://hyperallergic.com/552814/the-gerbil-museum-london/"]take a look[/URL] and provide them with some cultural enhancement.

Just the dog and the trolls live here now.

Even the ferel teenager has left us.

:sad:

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;543352]Just the dog and the trolls live here now.

Even the ferel teenager has left us.

:sad:[/QUOTE]Time to hire more gerbils.

Or rats, or chucks, or whatever. Draw the line at teenagers though.