[QUOTE=Mini-Geek;191071]The firewall lets you quote "same sex couples" but not post the word "homosexual"? Weird.[/QUOTE]

Just use POSSLQ.

News of this recent [URL="http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1375/gay-marriage-civil-unions-opinion"]study[/URL] of American public opinion about same sex marriage and civil unions is being published in the Dutch media now.

It seems quite encouraging to me. Even though support for opening marriage in the USA does not seem to be increasing at all (stable at 39%), support for civil unions has increased from 45% in 2003 to 57% now. The experience of various other countries which have opened marriage up to same sex couples suggests that legislating for civil unions is in any case a useful initial step towards the goal of opening marriage, the civil unions themselves helping to change public attitudes so that opening marriage as a subsequent step can follow more easily.

The study examines American opinion about various other aspects of homosexuality in addition to opening marriage. What I find especially encouraging is that although 49% of the population finds homosexuality "morally wrong", there is a clear difference between older people and younger people with the younger people being more accepting of lesbians and gay men. That in itself suggests that attitudes are changing in the USA towards a more accepting environment.

One of my friends has come out of the closet and told me (and a few others) that he's gay. In retrospect, the signs were fairly obvious, but I'm still in shock over this...

[QUOTE=Oddball;259806]One of my friends has come out of the closet and told me (and a few others) that he's gay. In retrospect, the signs were fairly obvious, but I'm still in shock over this...[/QUOTE]
Your shock is something I can relate to. If you find out something important and totally unexpected that you never knew before about someone you know well, or thought you knew well, that can be a huge shock.

Your friend has, of course, paid you an enormous compliment. It is unlikely that he would have told you that about himself if he did not trust you or if he did not value his friendship with you.

How you handle this knowledge now will of course be crucial for the continuing nature of the friendship. Your reaction in the coming time is likely to be very important to him, especially if you are able to correct any possibly negative initial reaction to his coming out that you might have made because of the shock you are feeling.

Considering that he's just come out to you (and a few others), he may well be able and very williing to answer any questions you have about it himself. People only come out voluntarily like that once they're feeling pretty OK about their sexuality and when they are willing to talk about any issues it raises. My hunch, depsite not knowing any details, is that he will value you talking to him about it and respect you for it, provided that you make it clear that you still regard him as a friend.

Sorry if I've jumped to any false conclusions here through not knowing details and feel free to correct me.:smile:

Brian.

I've always wondered when the state will decide that marriage is essentially a religious affair and none of its business......that is, it doesn't recognize marriage, only civil unions....but this would be far too rational...

Good luck to you and your newly out friend!

[QUOTE=Brian-E;259813]Your shock is something I can relate to. If you find out something important and totally unexpected that you never knew before about someone you know well, or thought you knew well, that can be a huge shock.

Your friend has, of course, paid you an enormous compliment. It is unlikely that he would have told you that about himself if he did not trust you or if he did not value his friendship with you.

How you handle this knowledge now will of course be crucial for the continuing nature of the friendship. Your reaction in the coming time is likely to be very important to him, especially if you are able to correct any possibly negative initial reaction to his coming out that you might have made because of the shock you are feeling.

Considering that he's just come out to you (and a few others), he may well be able and very williing to answer any questions you have about it himself. People only come out voluntarily like that once they're feeling pretty OK about their sexuality and when they are willing to talk about any issues it raises. My hunch, depsite not knowing any details, is that he will value you talking to him about it and respect you for it, provided that you make it clear that you still regard him as a friend.

Sorry if I've jumped to any false conclusions here through not knowing details and feel free to correct me.:smile:

Brian.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for your thoughts. There was an awkward silence right after he first broke the news, but I've basically accepted him for what he is now. I understand that just because he's gay doesn't mean he's sexually attracted to me, just as my heterosexuality doesn't mean that I'm attracted to all or most of my female friends and classmates.

Another topic we later brought up was discussing his sexual orientation with his family. If he does come out to them, it'll probably be to his mom since his dad and most of his extended family are quite homophobic. His mom isn't comfortable with gay marriage either, but she's a libertarian and actually supports gay rights because she feels that the government has no right to be interfering in personal relationships between two consenting adults.

[quote]What I find especially encouraging is that although 49% of the population finds homosexuality "morally wrong", there is a clear difference between older people and younger people with the younger people being more accepting of lesbians and gay men. That in itself suggests that attitudes are changing in the USA towards a more accepting environment. [/quote]
The wait may be long. Young people usually have a low voter turnout, and the anti gay marriage Prop 8 passed in California even though it was one of the most liberal states in the U.S. To be honest, I probably would have stayed home even if I met the residency, age, and other requirements to be eligible to vote. That's because I didn't have a strong viewpoint on the issue, and I think that many other members of my generation feel the same way.

[quote]Good luck to you and your newly out friend![/quote]
Hopefully things will turn out fine. Fortunately, the stigma of being gay, lesbian, or bisexual has lessened a lot in recent years.

[QUOTE=Christenson;259892]I've always wondered when the state will decide that marriage is essentially a religious affair and none of its business......that is, it doesn't recognize marriage, only civil unions....but this would be far too rational...[/QUOTE]
No longer recognising marriage as a state institution would be a pretty unpopular measure, I guess!
It would be unique. And I don't think it's necessary. Simply extend the definition of marriage - in the eyes of the state - to be a union of two adults. Ten countries, various US states, plus Mexico City, have all done this during the last 10 years.
How particular religions deal with their own definition of marriage is their own affair as you rightly imply.

[QUOTE=Oddball;259899]Hopefully things will turn out fine. Fortunately, the stigma of being gay, lesbian, or bisexual has lessened a lot in recent years.[/QUOTE]
Yes, your friend sounds like a survivor and your support will be very valuable to him, especially if he has gone through the hell that most young LGBT people experience growing up in an environment which does not accept them for who they are. Attitudes may be changing in the USA, but as the recent [URL="http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/10/12/gay-teen-suicide-surge/"]spate of teenage suicides[/URL] known to be related to their sexual orientation highlighted last year, young lesbian and gay people still do not get an easy ride. Thank goodness he has an accepting friend in you.:smile:

[QUOTE]…just as my heterosexuality doesn't mean that I'm attracted to all or most of my female friends and classmates.[/QUOTE]What we are about to say probably does not mean much, but we are attracted to just about every attractive female we encounter. The CFO understands and lets us flirt a bit but when when our reptilian brain nudges us across a certain line the leash is yanked hard. (If the CFO wasn't smoking hot we would have ditched her years ago.)

[SIZE=1]Snake1: If you ain't first, you're last![/SIZE]
[SIZE=1]Fish1: V yvxr gb guvax bs Wrfhf nf n zvfpuvribhf onqtre.[/SIZE]

if You want to know what i do im bed, then i think You need help. (dot, period, end)

[QUOTE=Xyzzy;259949]What we are about to say probably does not mean much, but we are attracted to just about every attractive female we encounter.[/QUOTE]Yup, I don't think it means that much. Substitute any word for "female" and it means much the same. For instance, " ... we are [b]attracted[/b] to just about every [b]attractive[/b] marklar we encounter."

Sorry, I'm feeling especially pedantic at the moment.

Paul

Can't shock me....

errr...?

David

PS I don't like scary films...unless it's consensual.